Oh, blardy heck, how do I sort this one out?

[bidibidi]

6yo DS, very jealous of siblings.
9yo DD: invited to a school yr4 sleepover, on a Thursday night (in local scout hut). Not expected at school next day and personally I think she'll be too shattered by others talking/jibbering all night to go, anyway. I have to collect her sometime after 7:30am on the Friday (15 min. walk away from home, 10 min. walk from school, which starts at 8:50am).

DD wants to go, but DS will kick off about her getting a free day off school. He's got a point, imo. What's worse, the Thursday is his birthday. DC never normally have day off school just because it's their birthday. Yes I am a wimp parent, but I also need to come up with a solution that keeps my stress levels down (and yes I do have health issues in that regard). Should I

A) Tell DS tough luck, he has to go to school on Friday & DD doesn't. He might get a day off in Yr4, too (then again, he probably won't, they didn't do this event in the past). I'll have the joy of dragging DS (explosive hyper-emotional temperment) to Scout Hut early to collect his Sis, then back up to school, where his smirking (maybe) sis will wave him off.

B) Let DS have his birthday off school to "make it fair"

C) Make DD go to school on the Friday to "make it fair"

D) Sod the pair of them and don't let DD go to sleepover.

WWYD?

I agree with everyone else - A and if you want her to do the keyboard lesson I would take her for that time only. She's allowed the day off, let her have the day off if she wants to (she may want to go to school if her friends are!).

I have a younger brother and my parents making me take him places I didn't want to, play with him when I didn't want to (and to be fair I LOVED him and wanted to play with him a lot - but when I didn't I was made to) etc caused a lot of problems... be careful that in making things 'fair' for DS you aren't continually making things 'unfair' on DD.

DS - ADHD or not is going to have to learn that the world does NOT revolve around him sooner or later and I can tell you that sooner is much better than later.

Don't let it stress you out, just be firm with him.

Yes. Mine are 8 and 10 and your youngest will have to suck it up

I'd also talk to your older one about not smirking.

A. life isn't "fair" and he needs to learn that . He gets to choose a dvd or special tea for Thursday (or not if he kicks off)

BTW, don't mean to sound uncaring.

A. Plus C.

And I really can't believe school are OK about letting an entire class have the day off because they're taking them on an overnight jolly?

No, sorry, she still has to go in the following day.

Ds1's school just did an overnight trip - he's 7 and in year 2. All bar 2 of the year group stayed over, and they all fully participated in the following day, including heading back to school in time for lunch and afternoon classes (after a full morning's programme at the centre).

If she's not prepared to go to school the following day, then I wouldn't let her go on the jolly.

A.

You can't send her in when everyone else has the day off - can you not shift the keyboard lesson?

I would appeal to her better nature and ask her for no smirking and suitable acknowledgement of her brother's birthday, though.

Is DS allowed to take cake to school for his birthday?

i'd probably go with a version of C....

Im not sure I would let dd do a sleep over on a school night...but if I decided to let her, I would make her go to school the next day-its friday-she can recover the weekend

not 'to make it fair' on ds though- just cuz im a hard-arse...pah! you dont get days off because you are tired from having fun---thats like having a day off work with a hang-over!

Update: sleepover was last week. They did get next to no sleep (up at 5:30am!).
I found someone else to pick DD up and hold on to her until after I took DS to school (very thankfully). I did let her have day off school, except for going in for keyboard lesson (couldn't change it), she had a few hours kip at home in the afternoon, and was a bit of a basketcase much of the rest of the weekend (somewhat predictably from the sleep deprivation, methinks). Which did ruin some other plans we had, but so be it

DS never fussed about it at all, but I think the crucial thing was getting someone else to pick her up.