internet safety, DD wants to know why

[iheartdusty]

DD is 9. She has been googling for sexy pictures, and she goes on various chat sites where she can email other users (Moshi Monsters, Movie Stars etc).

We do have parental controls in place on the household computers, but we also want to talk to her about why it wouldn't be a good idea to go looking for images and why she must never reveal her personal details.

I would like some help with what to tell her.

She is aware that sex is not just for making babies, and that adults who love each other do it because it is nice and fun. But all that positivity makes it hard to say that she might not like what she finds, or to suggest that some sexy pictures involve people being hurt.

Likewise, I don't know what to say to protect her beyond saying that 'some people pretend to be your age or pretend to be a friend but they really want to hurt young people'. She asks for details, she wants to know what could happen...and I don't know what to say without frightening her.

My opinion comes from a teacher point of view rather than a parent as my DD is only 8 weeks old but I wouldn't try to avoid scaring her, as hard as that might be for you. The internet is a dangerous place for trusting children. I assume at 9 you have had the conversation as to why she shouldn't get into a car with a stranger - this talk is really no different. You can avoid going into the specifics of what could happen with general statements that imply that they would be hurt and that you may never see them again. it has to be made quite clear that it is very dangerous.

I work on the theory that you need to teach them to be careful as, although we can police to some extent at home we, cant when they go to friends or use phones out and about. I say to my children that the Internet is full of information and pictures and whilst lots of it is brilliant, not all of it is true and not all of it is nice. I tell them that lots of information is for adults and I worry that they might see something that frightens them and it might be hard to forget it. They are ok about not going on You Tube unless DH or I are with them and that they need to be careful with google images too (since I was rather shocked at what appeared unexpectedly when looking for cowgirl pics to illustrate DDs birthday invitation ......) DCs (8 and 11) seem to get it so far. They know I can check history and so far haven't learnt how to delete it!

thanks, those are helpful responses.