Hyperemesis / bad sickness. Would I manage a third pregnancy?

[latrucha]

DH and I are really trying to reconcile ourselves to being satisfied with our two beautiful DCs. They really are lovely and I'm so lucky to have them.

Try as we might, though, we still really want a third (well, actually a fourth and a fifth, but we'd draw the line at three). We keep saying, 'Let's be content' but we're still yearning.

Our problem is that on my first pregnancy I had hyperemesis to 29 weeks and on my second was a bit luckier and just had severe sickness all day every day until nearly the end. There are other reasons not to have a third, but this, and having to look after the two we have, is the main one. I already feel that DD missed out on me for nine months while I was pregnant with DS.

If we are going to have a third, we'd like to get a move on as I am almost 38. I know people have pregancies much later but for several reasons, we don't feel it is for us. DD is three and a half. DS is 10 months.

We don't have any family help and would be very limited in the amount of help we could buy (perhaps a cleaner) without using the money we save each month.

It's nuts isn't it? Having a third pregnancy would be a nightmare, the older children would suffer and we'd both be exhausted and hate it.

Or would it? I just can't get the image of DC3 out of my mind.

I was a bit like you except that I had my 2nd at 39. I also had hyperemesis with both pregnacies and was sick for 39 weeks each time.
I did have help including a cleaner but the pure wretchedness never really leaves you and doubtless DS1 suffered somewhat.
We decided to count our blessings and stop at 2. It was painful but only for a year or so. Once those hormones were fully out of my system I stopped wishing for a 3rd. Most of the time.

Thanks for your reply.

Sometimes I'm all gung-ho and thin we should just go for it. Then I actually think about the realites, how we'd manage, that juggle this and I feel that we absolutely musn't.

It does seem an awful reason not to have a child though: just those few months being so awful vs a lifetime.

Nice to know you can be reconciled to it.

I had the same and for me its one of the reasons we are probably not having a third. I did meet somebody whose third she had no sickness with so its not certain and you were better with the second than the first pregnancy (I was the other way round). If you really want a third I would be tempted to wait until eldest at school and youngest at pre-school to give yourself at least some of the break. I know you will be a couple of years old but at least you will have chance to be sick in peace for a few hours a day! Either wait or do it now as nothing worse than dealing with the terrible twos when you feel so ill.

You and your children will survive it though. Can you afford some help - pre-school/cleaner (no way could I have done that the second time round), You would only not save for 9 months and have a third child?

I had a third. It was hard. And of course having done it the awfulness is fading and it feels like it was worth it.
do it if you're both on board.

I was the same, after severe sickness with DD1and 2 I was terrified of being pregnant again but knew I wanted a third so decided to have a third quickly before I changed my mind : )) DD3 is now 8 weeks and it was actually my best pregnancy, I actually felt like a human being and wasn't sick every day. There's no getting around it 3 is tough (especially 3 under 5) but I'm delighted and am happy to know I won't have any more.

It has to be your decision. I nearly went in to renal failure with DS2, so there was no safe way for me to have another child. It was very painful to accept that, but after a grieving period I did. Good luck whatever you decide.

Thanks for your replies. IT's good to know both ways that the world doesn't end.

My DS is not making it any easier as he's refusing to be a baby. HE started walking this week and now I feel the need of a babe in arms!

We both really want another, and then we think about the practicalites and get feint-hearted.