accused of domestic violence i need help

[scott1976]

hi all , i am a dad of 2 and have social services on my case , back in november 2009 i was kicked out of my home by my now ex for working to hard and as a result i moved in with a female work friend of mine , in her spare room , any way my ex was hounding me even then to drive her to work and the kids to school and to cut a long story short she pissed my friend off so much that one night my ex sent my friend a text while myself and my 14yr son were there saying she was gonna jump infront of a train , so myself , my friend and my son went back to my ex`s ( she also had my 4yr old with her ) and my ex was giving shit , so my friend saw red and went for my ex and i got in the way and got my face smashed in while my ex laughed ran down the road at a safe distance and watched while both my kids stood with me and watched me get hurt, so ss where called cos ex left kids watching, then on the 19th of march this year my ex voweled to have me arrested on my mothers funeral date which was 22nd march this yeah so she called police had me nicked for DV, she tryed to say i did this and that but i pointed out inconsistencies in her statment and my son had given a true statment and also my new girlfriend had told the police how my ex had kept turning up at her house, the kids were present and ss got called again , then recently she had me nicked for DV the day before my mums birthday and then with drew the statment a few days after but ss involved again , so now her ss worker is saying i shouldnt go near the house yet i have not been convicted, my new gf can prove she is a pshyco and stalker, what can i do about this????

So much to say...

So I'll say nothing

this might prove helpful

so she was a female work friend now she is your new girlfriend or do I have that wrong.

sound like you have not acted terribly honorably here to say the least, not sure how this works within the law but I would say you all have exposed your dcs to DV and there is a moral price to pay for this. I think ss should be involved here as you are not protecting your dcs welfare nor are you putting their needs above your own, they are at great risk of witnessing this kind of behavior again unless some one intervenes.

You may find people more receptive if you use paragraphs, less slang and, I think Anyfucker may have the best answer.

Your poor children.

Am a bit shocked by the advice here, tbh. I wonder if this was a female op whether she would be getting the same advice? Althiough it's imaterial I suppose, since it's probably a troll...

What can you do? Well be honest and don't go to her house there is no reason too, you can pick the kids up from the car or she can drop them off.

Why be shocked. I love " my new gf can prove she is a pshyco and stalker"

I van prove the world is flat. Area of my expertise.

Hhhmmmmm........................

I'm having trouble with the concept of someone who can spell inconsistencies but not working too hard.

In the event that you are for real OP, I suggest that you contact Relate or similar for mediation - your poor children are stuck in the middle of a very unhealthy situation.

So your "friend" went for your ex, you intervened and so your "friend" smashed your face in despite your children being there? Did I get that right? And you say that SS was called because of the presence of the children. Were the police involved as well? If not, how did SS find out? What was SS's conclusion from that incident?

What happened about the first round of DV accusations? Did the inconsistencies you pointed out mean the case was dropped, or did your ex withdraw the allegations, or is the case still ongoing?

It is worrying that your ex seems to be making DV accusations against you and then withdrawing them. I've been on the receiving end of false accusations that were subsequently withdrawn and I know how frightening it can be. Is there any truth behind what she is accusing you of even if it may be exaggerated, or is it a pack of lies from start to finish?

Are you still having regular contact with your children? Is that at your home or elsewhere, like a contact centre? What basis is the Social Worker involved? Is it a Child Protection Register thing, or something else? Apologies for all the questions but it's hard to give sound advice without knowing all the facts.

Try to remember that the Social Worker in this instance isn't there for your ex; he/she is there for your children. The SW isn't your enemy here. If you can build a good relationship with the SW then you may find life gets a lot easier. The SW should have produced a plan for what he/she wants to see from both you and your ex.

I'm at a loss as to what you need help with. There are no charges against you; you can't go to her house but why on earth would you want to? Is she actively harassing you at the moment? Turning up to your house?

Why, if you split in 2009, did the DV accusations only occur in March and May of 2011? What triggered them?