Life with Newborn

[LilP]

I've got a beautiful 3wk old daughter - but starting to wonder when I'm going to be able to start venturing out on my own with her to see friends or do shopping etc. Especially as I will need to conquer breastfeeding and nappy changing in public. Any advice you can give me? I'm dying (impatient?) to get out but am also really daunted.

I remember feeling exactly the same. But I can tell you that newborns are easy.

I used to worry about DS crying so used a sling for most outings.

BF - I went to a local coffee shop with new mums and we did it together (after I'd practised with DH watching for boobage!)

Shopping - first time I planned it by putting DS in the pram asleep then spent half an hour worrying he'd wake. He didn't and it was fine. Can you get a friend to go with you?

Basically take small trips at first - park, walks around the block etc and build up your confidence from there.

If your baby gets upset, you can take them out of the pram and cuddle them. Sounds silly but it's true!

Have you been to a local drop in baby weigh in clinic? I recommend you do - because there will be plenty of other mums in your situation too.

Basically just take the plunge and get out - practise makes perfect! I promise you it'll be fine.

Thanks Iggly. I think you're right - I just need to take the plunge but not be too ambitious to start with. One problem I've got is a lack of appropriate clothing for bfing in public. I really didn't consider this before she was born. Breasts are so much bigger so my old clothes still don't fit and I was wearing dresses all the way through my pregnancy which just aren't built for bfing without revealing serious boobage and lovely post-partum belly! Hopefully I can get out this weekend to buy a few cheap things - I think that will also help with my confidence to start feeding her al fresco.

You could order stuff online to save the hassle. I used to wear a BF bra, a BF vest where the top half clipped down and a cardie over the top. So come feeding, undo bra, put vest down, pop DS on. It's def worth trying at home first.

It's amazing how much a small baby can make things seems so scary! But soon you'll get the hang of it. Also your baby crying spunds worse to you than anyone else. I remember the first time DS had a meltdown and I was mortified but hardly anyone batted an eyelid!

My DD is 11 weeks old now and life is so much more enjoyable once you can get out and about!

My first time BF in public was with my NCT group and I just went from there. Department stores like John Lewis and malls have feeding rooms and changing rooms. You often end up chatting to other Mums there as well.

Plan small trips first to give you confidence. If your DD sleeps in the pram then put her down in the pram having just fed her, walk to your local cafe or park, by this time she will probably be asleep, sit down for coffee or read a book on a park bench for 20 minutes then turn around and head home. Chances are she wont wake up. If she cries, pick her up for a cuddle. In the beginning I use to ask for my coffee in a take-away cup so I could leave if necessary.

During the day parks and cafes are full of mothers/fathers/nannies and children so no one will blink if you have a crying baby or need to feed her. I find now that I am more aware of her crying than anyone else.

Also, always take a full change of clothes for DD in case of explosive poo and a spare top for you comes in handy if she is a little pukey.

Lilp, it is daunting those first times. And I sympathise re: lack of appropriate breastfeeding clothes, I hadn't even thought of that before my baby was born. One thing that made a massive difference to how confident I felt breastfeeding in public was buying a feeding scarf. Mine is a Bebe au Lait one but there are a few different kinds. I got mine online but can't quite remember where from. I've seen them in John Lewis too. Was also handy when my dad was visiting and he just didn't know where to look...
Good luck - it's so lovely when you do get out because everyone will want to coo over your gorgeous newborn!

A cardigan is great as you can pull it round while you're feeding. Just go out for short time and scout out a couple of places you feel might be good for feeding in. To be honest, no one really notices or says anything if they do any way. I've had to feed dd2 on busy trains and no one bats an eyelid.

Get yourself a breastvest or three. It means you can just wear ordinary clothes and not be restricted to breastfeeding tops. I had the same problem in that none of my clothes fitted due to my mum tum and gargantuan boobs (still don't as a matter of fact ) so I just went somewhere quite cheap (Peacocks! Or Primark/New Look) and bought a couple of outfits in my transitional size.

I never really worried about feeding in public, but I did worry about DS crying - he was a real screamer as a newborn. So I totally understand where you're coming from. Just take little steps and build up to it, as the other posters have said.

Ooh and re nappy changing - if you have an iPhone, the NCT have an app that finds you the nearest changing facilities to your location while out and about. Or if not, just look for your nearest M&S or Caffe Nero. I was really daunted by nappy changes too, and using those fold-down changing table things - I always change DS on the floor at home and worried he'd fall off! Just take your time and all will be fine.

Nursing bra and this underneath a loose fitting top. Stretchy straps, so you can pull down under your boob but still have tummy cover. I had a scarf on which I could wrap around a bit in the early days, but gave up after a while.
Plan where you're going and how to get home quick if it all starts getting too much, can give you confidence so it doesn't get too much! You'll be fine.
Congratulations on your baby and good luck!

Congratulations!!

Leave the house just after you've fed your DD and initially do short trips out so you have a fairly good idea your DD won't need feeding whilst out. When you're more confident with BFing you could take a scarf out with you and go for longer trips, find a quiet corner somewhere and feed your LO. Initially go to places you feel more comfortable. My first trips out were over the road to a shopping centre where i knew they had private feeding/ changing facilities. Or, they were over to my sisters or other family members. Gradually my DS went for longer between feeds and i got more confident feeding him wherever we were. It's easier in the spring/ summe because you can take her for a walk in the park in the sunshine and find a quit spot to feed her.

And it's much easier with a newborn! They mostly just eat and sleep - so if you've got a sling use it, they're fantastic and mean you have your hands free!

Thanks everyone for your messages of encouragement and great tips. I've got a park with a cafe in it close by so might make my first attempt there before I venture into town. I was thinking of doing the same CountBapula - definitely need some cheap transitional clothes - so sad I won't be able to wear hardly any of my lovely pre-preg clothes. I must remember that its easier with a newborn - not so willful I guess and will try and get everything ready for a trip out before I feed her so we can head straight out once she's done.