Is it down to luck or parental influence whether siblings get on well?

[emkana]

my friend thinks it's down to the parents.

My dd's, who are nine and seven, adore each other, with only occasional bickering. They have a younger brother whois often horrible to them, but they are extremely patient with him, perhaps because of his special needs.

I dont feel like I have influenced this behaviour, just that I'm lucky. What do you think?

Parentscan do a lot but not overcome completely clashing personalities. My nephews couldn't be left alone together they were so bad but suddenly, as teenagers, they are finding they like each other! Nothing has been done differently by the parents-they just discovered it for themselves.

I always put it down to same gender and small age gap when mine were little. They were best friends until DS1 reached puberty. Then they moved apart and we experienced bickering for the first time.
Now DS2 is13 I sense they are rubbing along better but I see more what their adult peronalities are going to be like and I don't think they'll have much in common when they grow up.

Pure luck.

dd and ds1 are 18 months apart and get on reasonably well, share friends and play nicely but they can also tear shreds off each other depending on mood.

The're both brilliant with ds2 and he adores them. That may change as e gets older though.

Luck, largely.

BUT you do really have to work on the relationship too. Remember that babies, if they are warm, safe and fed don't feel neglected and left out nearly as quickly as poor, bruised, supplanted older siblngs. So if you are going to have to neglect anyone, neglect the baby! I think this is where a lot of people go wrong.

Luck I'd say. I have two siblings - one I get on with great, the other drives me bonkers. It's all down to the personality you're born with I think.