Help!..(a little long)

[AtTheEndOfTetherAndBeyond]

Hi
I post on here quite regularly,but have changed my name for this.

MY DD is 18 months old. Up until 8 months she was waking every two hours during the night to be fed. I really never wanted to do CC, but I was getting desperate and felt as though I was losing my sanity so we caved in and did CC at 8 months. It worked really quickly and after that she slept for about two months until around 5.30am (from 7.30pm) without waking.

When we moved she started waking once during the night - around 3am. We would bring her into our bed and she would always go straight to sleep and not wake until around 6.30 which was fine. I could handle it.

However, for about two months plus, she has been waking any time between 11pm and 3pm and sometimes staying awake for more than two hours trying to crawl around our bed.

The HV told me that I need to go cold turkey and just leave her to cry when she wakes up without going in to her bedroom. I felt so guilty after I did CC the last time that I really can't bring myself to do it again.

Last night when she woke up I really couldn't handle it. DP had fallen asleep on the sofa so I brought DD in to him and went back to bed.

I just don't know where to go from here. Am I being ridiculous to not want to do CC again? I can't go on the way I am. I don't look forward to anything because I'm too tired. If I have arranged to meet people I spend the whole of the previous day looking for an excuse to cancel.

I'm at breaking point but feel like I can't ask for help because I know CC will be recommended, but I just can't do it.

I am a SAHM so I usually get up during the night when she cries.

Any tips would be gratefully received.

I can only say what we did. My [and DH's] take on it is that it doesn't matter where everyone sleeps as long as everyone sleeps. Would having her in with you be an option? We had DD in with is from when she was about 2yo until a few weeks ago when she decided it was time to move back into her own room. She will be 5 in a few weeks. It has worked brilliantly for us. We all slept well.

What Brokenbanana said. My son slept with either me or my husband from about a year until about 2 weeks ago when he indicated he was ready to sleep in his own room. He's going to be 2 in just under a month.

We all got lots of sleep.

I highly recommend co-sleeping.

Thanks Broken. Does your DD start the night with you? Our DD starts in her bed and then comes in with us when she wakes. Maybe we could get her from her cot when we go to bed and hopefully she would go straight back to sleep when she wakes.

Poor you!

Of course you don't have yo go down the cc route but neither can you go on as you are.

Perhaps it is time that your dd slept in her own cot all night? So when she wakes you go and sit with her but don't pick her up, and interact with her as little as possible (other than pat pat, shush shush type reassurance). Would that be an acceptable halfway house for you? You would probably get a few days of more crying (because she wants the old routine) but they would be tears of annoyance rather than abandonment iyswim?

I could never do controlled crying in the sense of leaving my dc alone to 'cry it out' but both did need a period of a very boring, non-responsive mummy (or daddy) at night to convince them it wasn't worth waking up.

Can you set up a bed in her room and have a go at putting her back when she wakes by rocking her back to sleep then back in cot? We have a folded mattress in DS's room for such nights! (he's 19 months)

Sorry- I misread and thought you brought her into your bed at 3am every night

Still my advice may be helpful if cosleeping is not for you (I tried it with ds2 but had to stop cause we both slept so badly).

Poor you, must be exhausting. My DD was like this at around 14-16 months. She was a bad sleeper before that (bf loads of times in the night) but this stage of being awake for hours was much worse. I'd never wanted to do CC, but did it on the spur of the moment at 15 months when I couldn't handle another night. The transformation was immediate and amazing. On the odd occasion she wakes in the night now (21mo), I usually just need to lift her up and lay her back down again. A few times, after we've been away or something, I've had to cc again. It's worked very quickly each time (no more than 3 mins) and seems to 'reset' her again.

After that waffle, the advice I'm offering is that I think they understand much better at this age so hopefully won't be like it was at 8 mo. My DD would never co sleep, so this wasn't an option for us. Good luck. With a toddler I'm so much in need of my evenings and sleep, so I'm sure it's the same for you.

You are not being ridiculous. You know yourself and your baby and what you are willing and able to cope with. Have you read this?. We have just starting using this again and are already seeing improvements in DSs sleeping pattern. It's not a miracle cure but is gentle and seems to be effective.

Iggly - I did think about bringing her cot into our room for a few nights as her room is too small for an extra bed/mattress so that at least she starts and ends the night in her own bed and then find a way of getting herback into her own room.

BabarianMum - That is an option. I have tried that in the past and sometimes it does work but can take up to an hour so I usually resort to the easy option of taking her to our bed. Maybe I need to just prepare myself for a few nights of staying in her room for a while waiting for her to go back to sleep.

Belindarose - CC would probably work really quickly - it did last time. Perhaps I'll end up doing it again if I go beyond where I am right now - or go and hide for a couple of nights and get someone else to do it for me. Up until recently I thought I would just carry on as we are and wait until she was old enough for me to ask her what's up when she wakes.

MummyBerry - My friend has talked about the No Cry book. I should order myself a copy and see how we get on with it.

She very rarely nap during the day...I know it's supposed to help them sleep if they have regular naps.

Sorry op my bloody phone died. We put a bed up in our room next to ours as she was wriggly when asleep. We didn't talk about bedtime just took her up to our room and she went to sleep and slept all night. taking the pressure off all of us by just assuming she would be with us was great. I wasn't getting stressed trying to get her in her own bed and she wasn't stressed either. It was great. Hope this is helpful. I didn't think it would be for three years tbh but so be it.

Thanks for coming back BrokenB. I will see what DP thinks about brining her cot into our room, or getting a more comfortable mattress for the travel cot so that we'll be close by when she wakes up, then hopefully she will be more likely to go back to sleep.

Ever since DD was born, although I completely adore her I have felt a slight emotional detachment from her. I had just started to feel a real connection with her, but over the last couple of days I have felt as though something is missing again. It's really hard to put into words. It's as if the tiredness is clouding out part of my brain.

What is the structure of her naps during the day? If she is sleeping too much during the day then it's harder to get a full nights sleep. Also - plenty of fresh air and exercise during the afternoons.

She slept until 6.30 this morning!

She very rarely ever naps during the day - less than twice a month. If she does it can be anything between 1/2 an hour and 2.5 hours. I've stopped letting her sleep after 4 pm.

I take her out every day...sometimes twice a day. I'm hoping when she starts to walk she'll be able to run around and use up a bit more energy.