Laid back parenting

[madhattershouse]

Child "guru" suggests that doing lots with your kids (activities and clubs etc) does not have a great effect on child development. Article here
Views please!

It's an interesting article but I wonder how accurately it reflects the content of the book. I am not up on my American parenting 'gurus' but I did see Mr Caplan is referred to as an economist so I assume from that fact and other bits of the article that his stance is perhaps best reflected in his quote:
"parents are 'overcharging' themselves for each kid" and stems from his role as an economist.

Can't see it'll be a popular point of view with those keen to sell us classes, groups and goodness know what else. I grew up before all of the fun 'concept classes' came into being but play group did me just fine. Have to say that I am not the kind of parent who would 'force' my child to attend groups he didn't enjoy but then nor are pizza a TV really my thing either!

I won't be rushing out to buy a copy if the book though so will avoid 'overcharging' myself as a parent in that way!

There is certainly a pressure put on parents to put children into as many classes as you possibly can here in N.A. I put my DD into a music class at 1 year of age on the belief that it was going to improve her development, but really, just being at home, listening to music and singing with her proved better... just hanging out with her. I put her into a Tots in Tights dance class, and week after week, they just did the exact same thing for 30 minutes... fat waste of $60. We dance around the house, while we're singing. I have finally enrolled her into a swim class, but do feel that there she will learn better to swim than I could teach her, although we go twice a week as it is. I've given up her spot at a Montessori school in the pre-school program in September because after I really thought about it, at 3 years of age, does she really NEED that level of structure in her life, 5 days a week; will it make or break her. No.

I don't see a problem with putting children into sports or cultural programs, but as a parent, I think we should step back and be sure that our child is enjoying them instead of pressuring them into it. I see his point being we need to stop parenting and just be families and enjoy one another.

As the article says, Caplan is an economists, not a childcare expert. But he has read & considered a whole lot of relevant research, from psychology and behavioural genetics. Unlike books like Tiger Mother based just on one person's experience.

My DDs are only little, but I aim not to over schedule them. I picked baby activites based on what was nice for me (socialising) not the baby. And swimming is the only extra I do for dd1 because that is essential.

It's just common sense really. If a child doesn't like something, forcing them to participate isn't going to make you a better parent. At least that's what I took from the article.

My own childhood was the same. My parents had no interest in music but loved sports. Therefore I was pushed into tennis lessons, swimming, badminton and i loved my piano lessons. When the schedule clashed, I was made drop the piano lessons in favour of tennis. Their reasoning was the tennis coach was amazing and very hard to get a spot in his lessons.

I'm not a tennis star now, don't even pick up a racket anymore, much to their disappointment. I did enjoy the lessons but I would've preferred playing the piano.

This article is just stating the obvious so I don't think he needs to be a childcare expert.

I think allowing the children to try everything is good so one can't just sit back and let them just watch tv. Giving them opportunities is what we should try but allow them to decide on discontinuing.