Attachment parenting and creche/nursery

[DuelingFanjo]

My DS (now almost 5 months) will be going into a Creche/nursery at 9/10 months. So far we have co-slept, fed on demand, worn a sling occasionally, basically been very baby led and AP style.

I am starting to feel the fear about the looming nursery situation and wondered how other people doing attachment parenting type stuff have coped? I guess I mean how did you cope with it as much as I mean how did the baby cope. I haven't been apart from my baby for more than an hour (well apart from the first 9 days when he was in hospital) and wonder if I should start training myself up by leaving him with people etc.

please be kind, he's my pfb.

I did most of what you describe with DS1. Just like you I was worried how he would cope.

He just seemed to adapt to his nursery life (slept in a buggy on walks, took water from a cup etc). I carried on as normal at home (still bf, co-slept) which helped both of us.

I can understand why you are worried (I was the same!), but tbh babies really do adapt well. It may take a little while though, so be prepared for a few tears from both of you.

It might be an idea to start leaving him for short periods with people you trust, but I wouldn't worry too much about that until closer to the time if you don't want to. Try not to worry about things. There's not point in working yourself up about it and you have LOADS of time left to enjoy being at home with him full-time.

You might want to start him with a bit of water in a sippy cup at about 6 months so he'll be used to using one before he starts.

Also, there's a huge difference between a baby of 5 months and one of 9/10. I know it's stating the obvious, but he'll be such a different chap when the time comes, with different skills etc.

I haven't been down the nursery route but wanted to add a few words of reassurance.

Iirc at nine months lo's understand that people can go away and come back again.

Remember that attachment theory is about creating security by meeting the lo's needs quickly. So for a start you have already made great inroads in this direction, going by your op. Also if you can explain to your nursery your ds's idiosyncrasies (sp) such as buggy to sleep, taking favourite toys, not leaving him to cry,etc, they can continue what you do while he is there. People get hung up on a physical attachment between child and mother, but imo attachment theory isn't really about this, it's much more flexible than that.

If your ds cries when you leave him try not to worry! As long as he settles after, this is a sign of a secure attachment.

Lastly, from personal experience, i don't work out of home a huge amount, but when i do i am always a super happy interactive mama when i get back!

I went back to work 1 day a week when DS was 11 m.o. (although DH looked after him while I was out). Until then about an hour was the max I'd left him for, and that only very rarely.

DS hardly seemed to notice and wasn't even particularly interested in milk / cuddles when I returned (he was too excited by being with DH).

I thought I'd really struggle with being away from him for 10 hours at a time, but to my surprise I hardly missed him at all. :)

My baby is almost 9mo and we do similiar to you, he is very clingy with me. even in the company of his father he still wants mummy and will cry BUT after a few minutes or so he regains composure. i would start leaving him for 30-60 minute stints to its not such a big shock for him