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Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

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Original poster

What, in your opinion, would be a reasonable age to let your child ...

18 replies

wudu · 12/05/2011 22:52

a - stay home alone for an hour

It would be from around 5.00pm to 6.00pm once a week, whilst waiting for dad to get in from work.

b - be met at school by their 12yo cousin and walk into the town to get tea (5 minute walk), before taking themselves off to their dance class (a further 5 minute walk).
I would meet them there and they would be alone for around an hour. They have phones.
Again, this would be once a week.

I haven't done any of the above yet, but am seriously considering both.
In each incident, I would be a 10 minute drive away.

What would you say is old enough for a child to do these things?

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fearnelinen · 12/05/2011 22:56

My 11yo ds is just about ready for a although I would struggle to trust him with a key
b dunno, too many variables...how sensible is the cousin e.t.c...

seeker · 12/05/2011 22:59

The home alone for an hour once a week thing - depending on the child - around 9? I have a 20 year old who is happy to be on his won at home for an hor or so. But it does depend very much on whether the child is happy with the arrangement

The walking into town and going to dance with cousin - very much depends on the child, and the twom, but my two started to go on "adventures" together, which involved public tansport and going to cafes for lunch when they were 8 and 13. But they do get on very well indeed,a nd the younger one worships the ground the older one walks on so he will always do what she tells him!

There willbe thousands of posts saying that it is neglectful to leave them alone before the age of 25. Ignore them.

MaureenMLove · 12/05/2011 23:00

I would say, it depends on the child, the environment and whether you feel confortable with it!

This is something only you can answer. There are many parents on here that would consider about 8 years old and others that wouldn't consider it until at least 13 years old! It's what works for you and your environment.

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meditrina · 12/05/2011 23:00

I did a) for the first time with a 9 (nearly 10) yr old in yr 5. I think similar for b), providing both are sensible and won't egg each other on into a dreadful escapade.

seeker · 12/05/2011 23:00

That should be "I have a 10 year old.." obviously!

K999 · 12/05/2011 23:01

Dd1 is 11 and I she stays in the house alone on a Sunday when do the food shopping. Usually for about an hour. She also goes into town on a Saturday with friends to shop and have lunch. She is pretty sensible and I trust her. I suppose it depends on the individual child. You will know best about whether you think your child can be trusted.

TeamLemon · 12/05/2011 23:02

Lots of children are doing this sort of thing by the time they are in secondary school.

Would a primary school release a child into the care of a 12yo cousin? I'm not sure ours would.

Original poster

wudu · 12/05/2011 23:02

No key needed for a. Well, other than to lock the door after me leaving, that is.
I would be there till 5.00pm then would go to take dc2 to dance class.
Dc would be alone till around 6.00pm.

b - both children are very sensible and would IMO react well if things weren't exactly to plan.
Dance class is open with another class running, so any problems and they would be able to take themselves there. It's a 10 minute walk from school (lots of pedestrian crossings along the way) and a 5 minute walk from where they would have a bite to eat.

OP posts:

halfcaff · 12/05/2011 23:03

I have let my dd (11) do this kind of thing - she is home alone two evenings a week after school. (Often after a club, so only for about 1.5 hours til I get in having collected ds from after-school club) Since she stopped attending the same club I am saving £30 a week in fees! I think it is good practice for September when she will have to get herself home from secondary school over a mile away every day. It depends on the child though. Mine knows she is on 'probation' and if she breaks the rules she will be going back to that club, money or not!

K999 · 12/05/2011 23:03

DDs primary school do not check to see if there is anyone there to meet her cos she usually walks home! Not sure how the primary school would know tbh.

Original poster

wudu · 12/05/2011 23:07

x-posted with a few there.

Yes, I know it depends on the child, I just wanted to get a rough idea of what people would consider reasonable

The school would allow dc to go with cousin. Dc has walked home with friends to their houses before now (we don't live within walking distance).

seeker - I was thinking "at 20! I should bloody hope so!"

Ohhhh yes! Probation rules would definitely apply!

OP posts:

TeamLemon · 12/05/2011 23:57

K999, our school would know!
My DC are at a small village school. KS1 children are kept in the Reception playground until handed to parent/carer/collecting adult etc. KS2 are allowed to roma the field & playgrounds but the Head stands at the only entrance/exit and sees every child off site.
Should also point out this school is not actually in the village, but on a busy A road and so only 3 families walk in, and no children walk by themselves.

wordfactory · 13/05/2011 08:44

I leave my DC (11) for a couple of hours either together or alone and they actually enjoy it.

Mine can't walk anywhere form school (middle of nowhere) but if they were in toewn schools I think I would be happy to let them with phones.

speakercorner · 13/05/2011 12:05

A sounds okay at 10 so long as the child was happy with it. B doesn't sound okay for a primary-school child. Maybe 12.

BlooCowWonders · 13/05/2011 12:33

a - I've left mine at home alone from 8, building up to an hour by the time they're 8.5 or so. So definitely yes

b- no prob as long as the cousin can be trusted.

inthesticks · 13/05/2011 16:25

In my DCs case
a) 11 although I knew a neighbour was home just in case and I was only 5 minutes away.
b) 13 for DS1 although DS2 now 13 and hasn't been to town alone yet. (I will let him when he asks).

Sacharissa · 13/05/2011 16:29

About 10, I'd think. But mine are only 6 and 3 and I may have forgotten what 10 year olds are like - I'm an old lady of 30 now.

Fennel · 13/05/2011 16:51

a) about 9
b) about 8 if 12yo is a sensible type.

Obviously it depends on the child, and I think also the area, we do it here where there are lots of involved neighbours and a lot of people who would help my dc in an emergency, but I wouldn't have left them home alone where we used to live, not at that age.

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