'I'll do it my way, mummy'. But your way is the wrong way DD...

[AuntieBulgaria]

disclaimer I don't say it but I do sometimes think it.

DD is 3.5. She is vaguely interested in letters and numbers.

Sometimes she counts stuff, but she tends to attribute the 'oneness' to the thing she counted first. If she moves 'one' away, she starts counting to see how many are left with 'two'. If I try and suggest she starts counting the remaining things with 'one' she gets all cross.

Similarly with the plastic alphablocks she puts them in a random row and asks me what they spell. I will try and sound out the letters but sometimes try and say 'if you put this letter here instead, it would be x word.' but again, this makes her really frustrated with me.

She wants to do it her way. I understand that and I can sort of remember the feeling I had a child when a well meaning parent would take over and do it 'properly'.

Does any one have any techniques for how to guide her in the right direction, without getting her back up? Or should I forget it and not try and intervene at all?

I wouldn't bother - this is stuff for nearer to when she starts school :)

Ok, but I can well imagine her being just like this at 5 and indeed in later life. So, bearing that in mind - any tips?

I have one of those "I'll do it my way" kids, she is 5 now but when she was younger all she wanted to do was scribble instead of colouring properly, I just did colouring beside her and said "this is the way I like to do it, I like scribbling sometimes but sometimes I like doing it neatly" all you can do is encourage the right way without stifling her independence, she'll get the message she sounds like a clever girl.

At 5 she will have a more developed understanding or numbers/objects and her ability to relate what you say to her to what she is doing will have changed.
She may still want to do things her way but that is partly the teacher's problem rather than yours and her focus may have changed onto something else.

I still think you need to continue to challenge the counting though, the letters less so.

Thank you, I will try and hang back.

I think I am projecting a bit. (I've also had quite a lot of wine and I think I'm just rambling incoherently)

I have always found maths/number difficult - I can add stuff up and that but it's not naturally easy. Every time I need to work out a percentage difference, I have to look up how to do it online. It's like it has never quite clicked.

These days I get round it with calculators and Excel but I would love for DD to not find maths frustrating and elusive in the way that I did. But I also find that my lack of mathematical ability makes it more difficult to explain why that's now one and the one that was one before isn't one now (still following me?)

I have one of these and she is nearly 6---I cant engage her at all with literacy and numeracy (I have tried and tried and tried!! with LOTS of different media/approaches) Now, we do lots of applied stuff instead, where she doesnt really know that I am teaching her - e.g. cooking - weighing and measuring, writing out shopping lists for me etc
The good news is - she believes every word the teacher tells her
good luck

If you can work Excel then I wouldn't call you number-illiterate by a long way! :)

She is playing with some new "toys".
There will come a point where she wants to communicate/understand etc and then she will want to make them "work". Untill then imposing your rules on her game (as she sees it) could just be frustrating and turn her off number/letter.

As bejezzus says use applied ways of modeling correct use. Read together, write a shopping list etc. Otherwise let her get on with it.

Sorry if abrupt...tired.

Ps can you count things out of a bag/ cup etc so one is always the first one out..?

I would just leave her to it.

I am wondering, as an artist especially, why colouring neatly is proper and scribbling is not?

Staying within the lines is overrated.

Leave her to it - if you don't push at all, she may be more likely to watch how you do things and copy you. If you do push (even a tiny bit), it becomes a question of self-respect where she has to stick to her guns and show that she's right. Even though it doesn't feel that way to you and definitely isn't meant that way, a lot of what mums say to their kids is felt as being criticism. As someone else says, a teacher or someone to whom she is less close will be able to show her how to do it without these issues being around. You will probably find with other things that she will actively ASK you to show her something - let her come to you rather than you "correcting" her.

You are much more likely to help your child learn if you follow her lead and let her have fun. You sound like you are pushing her - which at 3.5 is unnecessary.

Undoubtedly you are right. In fact, Simic, I still feel like that when my mum talks to me :).

Ok, henceforth I will redouble my efforts to not correct or intervene. I have similar trouble with not being bossy when it comes to how to paint (try putting it on the paper dd) and 'games with rules' - she's really not interested in my opinion in any of these areas.
But i will try to let her do it how she wants too.I like the idea of practical modeling too.