DD2 is overweight

[GrumpyOldHorsewoman]

...and has been steadily gaining for the past 5 years (she is now 7).

I try to monitor her food intake because her problems just come down to a love of food - she hardly eats any junk and I cook every night, lots of veggies, fruit, fresh meat and fish. We don't do ready meals and seldom have takeaways, but when she eats, she eats alot. She will help herself to bits out the fridge or the cupboard and pinch off others' plates (esp DH's). Dh doesn't help because he's totally in denial about her weight and thinks it's normal. I have to buy her bigger clothes and she looks far chunkier than almost every other child in her class. I had her in gymnastics, trampolining and swimming which she wanted to do, but when her enthusiasm waned and she started to moan about going, DH blew up and accused me of forcing her so, as usual, I caved in and now she does no physical stuff at all. What can I do to put things right before it gets any worse for her? I am not concerned from an aesthetic perspective - she doesn't get bullied or anything and it's not about looks - but I want her to enjoy an active, healthy life where she's not complaining about being tired five minutes into a walk.

I was an overweight child and became an overweight teen then an overweight adult. I had a very sedentary lifestyle my parents both worked all the full time and i hated sports.

I would have loved it if my parents had taken me for long walks, or walked with me to school (i used to be driven by a neighbour because they were working) even. I loved it when every few weeks my Dad would get an afternoon off and take us swimming.

Not slagging off my parents for working, we were quite poor and they were trying to improve things for our family but i think if you are fortunate enough to spend time with your children make a point to do something active together.

Is there a type of physical activity she would enjoy? Also can you incorporate more into your normal activities e.g. walking to school or the shops, park after school, 'active' type family things at the weekend?

Re. food you probably just need to reduce her portion size and maybe cut down on snacking if you feel she eats a good balance. It's worth being tough about it because you're doing it for her own good in the long run.

Seriously, do try and address this now, while she is young. As smoggii said, it is very easy to carry the weight into adulthood, and it can become a serious disadvantage at senior school age - not just from a health perspective, but also socially.

My 10yo niece sounds very similar, and her problems largely stem from an indulgent nanny and far too large portions. She also has a dad in denial, and it hasn't done her any favours; she now is starting to dislike her size and kids at school are just starting to pick up on it. My sis wishes she'd done something sooner.

Suggest you ask your GP to check her out, and if he feels it would be useful he can refer her to a dietician who can work out a healthy eating plan. It's important not to make her feel like she is on a "diet", so if the family can join in that would help greatly.

Chuck out all crisps, biscuits and snack foods and leave out a bowl of fruit. If it's not in the house she can't snack on it.

Keep pushing the exercise - maybe there is a form of exercise she hasn't tried yet that would interest her?

Good luck.

my dd is not over weight but would eat all day if I allowed her. Because I know this she is encouraged to eat little and often. Limited bread and almost never crisps, one choc biscuit a day. if hungry after school a peice of fruit or a couple of bread sticks or rice cracker. you need reduce her intake and increase her level of activity.

I switch of tv computer games and send her out to play, even go with her for an hour on bike or with a ball. if she is procrastinating.

I do enforce an exersise based activity, in the past has tried gymnastics then football, its now swimming. We joined a club due to long term comitment and more sociable as dd makes friends and has good role models of older kids getting awards etc, can chose level of comitment. i would say i wont let her give up untill she is a confident swimmer.

I talk to dd about her body and what it needs to function in term of fuel and exersise. I never ssay cant this that or the other as it will make you fat, i ofteen tell her somthing is not good for heart etc.

I don't buy crisps/chocolate bars etc because I know what what would happen if I did.

Unfortunately, we live in a very rural area and are literally in the middle of nowhere. She can play outside very safely, but it's so hard to motivate her to do so when she has nobody to play with. I take her walking and she always comes enthusiastically but then starts to moan and a twenty-minute walk becomes a one-hour coaxing her along (at snail's pace!).

I really want her to go back to swimming because she has always enjoyed it and has been able to swim since the age of 3. She has got very lazy though and, like I said, DH will have a go at me for making her do anything (his is the laissez-faire attitude to parenting - very unhelpful).

I think I'm just going to have to get tough. I'm not going to cause an eating disorder just because I refuse to ignore the fact that she is getting too big and take steps to improve things. I don't want to wait until she is obese.

you are doing the right thing op, just get tough with dh and tell him to support or keep quiet.

Don't make an issue out of her weight to her (not saying you are), just keep on with the healthy eating and address her portion sizes. If she is eating a healthy diet and still gaining too much then her portions are too big.

dd1 has a strong tendency to gain weight, and would always choose more sedentary pursuits over more active ones.
one thing that really helps is having more active friends round to play. when my friend's DSs come round, i always ask if they want to play out in the garden. the boys always want to, and dd1 will hare around with them happily in a way she would never do with just me and her.
soft play is also a good one for us, as there are always other dc for dd1 to chum up with, and again she's happier to be active if she's got someone to play with.

Your name suggests you deal with horses, if so, could she learn to ride? That would be brilliant exercise plus all the mucking out, horse walking etc. If you don't have access to horses, then walking together, going cycling together, roller skating etc. I would focus on activity rather than food.

You've got to tackle your DH before your tackle your DD. If he is prepared to sabotage all your attempts to get your DD healthy, he is in serious denial about her future health and his role as a father.