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Too young for school trips?

22 replies

jane88 · 11/05/2011 19:34

My DD aged 7 is due to go on a 5 day (4 night) residential trip very soon . I am extremely nervous about this as we have never gone on vacation without her or she has never been on any sleepovers. The trip is an outward bounds type of trip with surfing , mountain climbing , canoeing etc . I seem to be the only parent that feels that 7 is too young to go on this type of trip and now I am considering keeping her at home.
I understand that when you hand your children over to the care of teaching staff and course organisers that you should trust them. It is however a nerve wrecking experience for me and I'm not sure if I will get through the week ! The kids are allowed to phone home twice only during the week. I didn't want her to be the only child not going and so I put my own concerns aside and have encouraged her to go although I can tell she is as nervous as me about the experience.
I was just wondering if anyone else has had trips away at such a young age and what their experiences have been . Thank you

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Seona1973 · 11/05/2011 19:41

my dd is nearly 8 and dont think I would like her going on a trip like that. My sisters lo is 12 and went on a residential school trip for the first time last year - a more appropriate age I think.

dikkertjedap · 11/05/2011 19:59

I think to start that five days is a bit long, also not sure about the activities you mention for this age ... I would not allow it if it was my dd.

MCos · 11/05/2011 21:56

DD1 is 9, and would be just about up for this now. DD2 is 7, and I couldn't see her going on such a trip.

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Mummyloveskisses · 12/05/2011 00:34

DS1 (now 13) went on a 4 day 3 nights residential when he was 11 and I was so nervous.... I thought he was too young then :)

If he had been 7 and the residential had come up he would have definately been staying home!

PaisleyLeaf · 12/05/2011 00:56

7? Why take them at that age? They're too young to get the most out of a trip like that.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 12/05/2011 07:41

DD did the same thing at the same age, although no phone calls were allowed.
I do understand your concerns, but, IME, the trip will have been risk assessed to the nth degree.

grumpypants · 12/05/2011 07:49

my dd didn't go on the y6 outward bound residential thing because:

i decided as a blanket policy to avoid residential trips til secondary school
there were lots of upsets with girls and friendships and i didn't want that happening 24/7
she is not interested in sporty stuff like that so wouldn't miss out
she didn't want to go

you don't have to send her -

HSMM · 12/05/2011 07:58

My DD did a week with school in Yr6. When she was 7 she did one night away with Brownies. A couple of years later she did a weekend away with Brownies. That reassured me that she was ready for the school trip. I don't think I would have sent her away for a week at age 7 if she had never stayed away from home before.

(I can't believe the teachers would want to take a group of homesick little children)

PiousPrat · 12/05/2011 08:23

Both DSs have had school residentials at about the same age. They went for 4 days and did outdoorsy things, although nothing as exciting as surfing and mountain climbing! They are both quite sporty though and have never had a problem being away overnight and had done a few camps with Beavers by that point, as well as staying with their Nanny a reasonable amount. There were some kids who were a nervous wreck on the morning they left, but tbh they were the kids who walked into the room al excited, then their mums started sobbing about how they would miss them so it got the DC all agitated. When they got back those same nervous kids were the last off the bus and were sobbing because they didn't want to go home!

I know it is hard to detach when they are that age, and i do agree that 4 nights is quite long for a first trip away from home ever, but I do believe it does them good to learn a bit of independence and to realise how much you do for them when suddenly you aren't there. It can be a great confidence builder as they come back full of all the things they have achieved all on their own (poor teachers never seem to get any credit) and in the case of DS2s cohort, there were significantly less problems with the groups of girls being spiteful to each other after their trip as it was exhausting for them to try and keep it up that long, so they saw how pointless the constant bickering was.

Is it possible that part of your daughters anxiety about going is due to her picking up your nervousness? I don't mean that to sound nasty or that you are upsetting her as obviously if you have never been apart before, it will be a big adjustment for you, but kids are very intuitive and if they think mum is upset then they figure it must be because of something scary and get upset themselves. It might help her feel more reassured if you try to brazen it out, sort of 'fake it 'til you make it' sort of thing, and focus on all the amazing experiences she will get to have, rather than the being apart aspect.

I have to say I do think it would be best if she went, not least because there was only one child who didn't go to DS2s school trip and he had a miserable week stuck with the older kids as his whole year was gone and felt really left out when they came back and were all that much closer and were doing work based on what they had done while they were away, so based on that I wouldn't like my child to be the one left behind, but you know your daughter best and if you really think she would be more miserable by being away from you than by being the only one going, then there is no shame in backing out and explaining to the teacher that she just isn't ready to be away for that length of time.

LIZS · 12/05/2011 08:33

dd went away with Brownies to an outdoor activity centre at almost 8 but it was only for 2 nights. She's now been away longer with school since and no calls home which I think may work better. tbh it is unusual for trips like this so young in the UK but very normal in Europe, even younger (5/6). Wehre abouts are you and how far away is it ? They seem to cope among their peers, perhaps rather better than their parents.

glasscompletelybroken · 12/05/2011 14:41

I think 7 is young for this length of stay but agree that it's difficult to be the one left behind.

Have the school been doing this trip with this age group for a number of years and if so can you talk to teachers/helpers who have been before for some reassurance? If the school haven't previously done this with this age group then I would be having doubts in your shoes.

You know your own child best - how do you think she will cope? Have you got time to organise an overnight with a friend or relative beforehand to see how she gets on? If she's never had a sleepover at all then 4 nights is a big step.

Asinine · 12/05/2011 14:45

Too long, too young and probably too expensive. And unnecessary. We have this next year, I'm opting out and using the money to do something nice as a family. There are quite a few families at our school who agree.

speakercorner · 12/05/2011 15:21

I think 7 is too young, and the trip is too long. One night okay, four??? My DD would, I think, hate this. I turned down a sleepover at a friend's house a few months ago (DD was 6) because I didn't think she could manage. I asked her about school trips a while ago - because it came up on mumsnet and I was interested - and she said very firmly that she was way too young.

Have you asked your DD whether she wants to go?

jane88 · 18/05/2011 12:04

Many thanks for all your comments, deadline approaching and still undecided.Will keep you posted!

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Dancergirl · 19/05/2011 13:37

I opened this thinking it was about an over-protective parent worrying about a child going on a day trip!

But....I'm a fairly laid back parent and I def think a) too young and b) too long. My middle dd went on a 3-night Brownies trip last year as part of their centenary celebrations, she was 7 and hadn't been at Brownies long. But my oldest dd (then just 9) went too. I think if she hadn't had the security of her older sister she probably wouldn't have wanted to go. She was a bit homesick but had a good time overall.

Sorry this is not v helpful but I do think with this sort of thing it really does depend on the child. Some 7 year olds would have no worries about this sort of thing and would be unlikely to get homesick, others the exact opposite.

If you decide not to send her, I doubt she will be the only one not going so don't feel bad about it. If you feel she's too young trust your instincts. There will be many, many more schools trips in the future.

brettgirl2 · 20/05/2011 13:03

Does your daughter want to go?

jane88 · 23/05/2011 09:35

as the trip approaches she now really wants to go , that is the problem . All the kids are very excited about it and talk about nothing else. It is very hard for me to tell her now that she cant go particularly as I am the one who encouraged her to go from the start. I am having sleepless nights with worry . Even the coach trip is going to take about 10 hours with all the stops they make along the way .

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Portofino · 23/05/2011 09:43

My dd first went for 3 nights away, aged 5, then for 6 nights later that year. Aged 6 and 7 she has done week long residential holidays, the last one being pony riding. She has always had a fabulous time.

I really think it depends on the child though. Mine is very confident and independant and actually asked to go - my employer sends me a brochure every year. I know that others the same age wouldn't be so happy.

thebeansmum · 23/05/2011 13:05

Can't believe you'd be the only one who feels this way Jane? General concensus on here is pretty much how you feel so I'd be amazed if all other parents were OK with it as well. Like some others on here, my ds do a 2 nighter in year 4 and a 4 nighter in year 6. I would struggle with allowing my 8 year old do 4 nights - he's sporty and would love it, but still...

exoticfruits · 23/05/2011 13:32

It depends on the DC, my DS1 would have been fine but DS2 wouldn't. If she really wants to go I can't see the problem.

exoticfruits · 23/05/2011 13:33

I don't know why schools do it so young-must be a nightmare!

exoticfruits · 23/05/2011 13:34

Sorry-nightmare coping with those who are homesick.

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