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Too strict?

3 replies

Comma2 · 11/05/2011 19:32

I feel like I am too strict with my 3.5 yo dd, but I don't know how to be more relaxed. I have two jobs and basically full time kids, so I'm a little stressed for time. I also have a 1 yo (who is just so EASY in comparison, it almost makes me feel guilty about the older dd). Today dd fussed when I said we'd go on a walk, then apologized (with a little smirk, she likes the drama), then came to get dressed but called me stupid mama. I sort of just lost it and yelled and send her in her room. She cried, then apologized- enjoying that- and then THAT made me mad and I told her to take her nap and go back in her room. She did, cried, but is asleep now, but I feel like I got way too angry; it's not helpful at the least. Not surprised she calls me stupid mama...what to do though??? It is so hard to get her dressed and out fo the door, and she has more than once spoiled everybodies fun. She's also done major drama whenever dinner comes around, but we have been successful ignoring her...but I can't do that when I have to get her somewhere...sorry for the rambling. I'd very much appreciate some seasoned tips...

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dikkertjedap · 11/05/2011 20:01

Maybe she is desperate for your attention, be it positive or negative. Could you set some time aside to do activity just with her, say every Sunday, with your other one with DH/DP or other trusted person?

AngelDog · 12/05/2011 19:44

Two books I'd recommend: How to Talk so Kids will Listen (Faber & Mazlish) and Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen.

EssexGurl · 14/05/2011 13:10

No advice just sympathy. DH is away on business this week and I am feeling the pressure of looking after the kids on my own, especially as DD is such a daddies girl. Felt we were getting on pretty well. But then my sister rang and mentioned in passing that she felt we were too strict and shouty with DS (age 5). I do agree but he is so challenging at times it is the only way he will listen. But I then felt guilty so have spent the rest of the week trying to be more reasonable with him - talking to him rather than shouting. All well and good until another school mum had to go racing off after 2 yo DD when she escaped when I was "discussing" DS's behaviour with him at the school crossing. Normally I would have yelled and grabbed him with one hand and DD with the other and marched them over the road. This time I did the nice approach, went down to DS's level to talk to him and off DD sprinted. God, I felt dreadful! Luckily this lovely mum was there to save DD. DS's comment was "well, that lady was there so DD was fine". Not the point! But next time shouting might be easier!! Don't beat yourself up!!

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