how can i make my ex take daughters lactose seriously???

[rachyaimeelou]

hi im new here as im lookin for some advice, i did try netmums but got riddiculed so i decided to try here.

my 3 yr old daughter has a lactose intolerance, she basically cant have milk, chocolate, yoghurt and ice cream as all these either bring her out in a rash or make her incredibly constpated.

she was diagnosed with this wen she was nearly 2, feb last year after havin the milk test and straight away came out in a rash around her mouth and straight away told her dad and gave him a list of things not to give her while he was with her.

unfortunatly he thinks he nos best and has many times gone behind my back, knowin wat he gives her could make her very ill, every weekend he takes her to his auntys as there are alot of young children in their family so daughter is never without a friend.

but recently she has started telling us that daddy has let her have the bad things that make her ill, which has made me cleary upset and completely annoyed me, so once again iv had to explain to him why shes not allowed to have these items, but once again he said look while shes with me she can have wat ever she wants.

i jus feel like im hittin a brick wall everytime, even more now seein as little one has been coming back grissly and constipated.

i just dont no wat i can do any more

Would your ex go along to the GP with you so that it can be explained to him what your daughter can and can't have?
Do you have letter from the hospital detailing what is wrong with her?

He is pretty stupid if he keeps giving her things that are going to make her ill.

The other option is to see a solicitor and get them to send a letter detailing your daughters illness.

speak to his mother and his sister or whoever she is. get his family on board. let everyone know that there is a solid medical reason she cant have milk products.

If the entire family acts in the same stupid way that he is, then tell him clearly that he cant have her as he is incapable of looking after her properly.

hi ladies thank yo for ur responses, unfortunatly, i dont speak to his family, blantly because they are as stupid as him so i dont have anything to with any of them, i have spoken to my solicitor time and time again about his incapability on how he looks after our daughter but again i jus get ignored, wen i offered for him to come with me to the peadiatricians at the hospital, he said he cudnt because work wouldnt give him the time off, iv showed him everything and given him all sorts of info, but because we dont have a good relationship as it is he jus refuses to listen to anything i say, even my mum has had to have words about giving little one these things. i stopped him from seeing her wen she was a baby because his family threatened to have her taken off me and the consequenses were that we ended up in court for him to gain access, even tho i had told them wat a terrible father and role model he was but their response was well shes not in any danger and isnt being abused so therefore we cant really say no to him not seeing her.
this is why i cant think of wat else to do as iv already done it all, its sooo frustrating that im trying my best to protect my daughter but there are ppl in this world who think they know best xx

Would your gp or consultant write to him?

i think that will be my next step, but last time my gp wrote to him about dds chicken pox, i found my self in court over the fact that i dont use her full last name but either way i think that will be the route that im goin to have to take xx

Did you actually notice the problem before she told you she had had dairy?

i noticed she was grissly and kept saying she had tummy ache so i knew wat shed had, but she is one of these children who will tell her grandma n step dad things were as im always the last to no, iv bought califig in the hope it will get her bowels moving, shes generally a happy little girl, its jus wen shes been with her bio dad that seems to come back grumpy and grissly.
any way i took my mum with me today to see my solicitor as she too is concerened that he isnt taking dds intolerance seriously and by the looks of things my solicitor has started takin my exs parenting skills seriously

oops i meant non parenting skills

I think it is possible you will need to take him you court. REfuse access unless he parents her properly.