Excessive bullying between siblings - verbal abuse

[allnewtaketwo]

For a very long time, DSS1's treatment of DSS2 has been terrible. Now I know all other brothers argue, fight and 'bully' to some extent, and that arguing between siblings is completely normal. BUT, the way DSS1 constantly gets at DSS2 has now, in my opinion, got to be totally unacceptable and makes me feel very uneasy.

It's all verbal. Literally within the first 5 mins they were here this evening, I counted 6 occasions of DSS1 getting at DSS2. It's not joking around, it's constant talking down to, undermining etc. Makes me totally cringe and want to leave the room. DH completely agrees with me. Tonight he said that DSS1 was at it all the way here in the car. DH does correct DSS1 about it, tells him to stop.

DH telling DSS1 to stop is ineffective. DSS2 is quite even tempered but quite an emotionally vulnerable child I would say. Unlike DSS1 he is quite 'deep' and caring. For various reasons I won't go into here, it appears that for whatever reason, DSS1 lacks empathy

I've been reading up on this, and the potential implications for DSS2's self-esteem are huge. I feel we cannot stand by and see this happen and it is time to take some action which is stronger than DH asking DSS1 to stop. I'm thinking e.g. telling him to leave the room each time he does it.

There is no communication between DH and the childrens' mother at all. There is no point him mentioning it to her because she thinks he is wrong about everything and knows nothing. She is the great source of knowledge that does not need to be told anything about her children. DH has spoken to DSSs and apparently their mother fines them both when there is any arguing/bullying

Yes I have DS with DH, aged nearly 3. DSS2 is great with him (although 9 year age difference!)

DSS2 so looks 'up' to DSS1 - e.g. DSS1 recently had a hockey game and DSS2 texted him to ask how he'd done. DSS1 replied with 'You smell' . Now I must admit, my 6 yo nephew would say something like that, but DSS1 is 15

Hmm... "You smell" isn't very terrible though, is it? Maybe DSS1 finds DSS2 intensely annoying - younger siblings can be.

No, you smell isn't terrible. But a negative comment in every single sentence is. Every positive step from DSS2 is met with a negative one from DSS1.

I would worry about someone who can only react to someone they find annoying by bullying them. And DSS2 really isn't annoying (and that comes from a wicked SM [WINK]). DSS1 just loves to put him down and make him feel bad. He lacks social and emotional skills and unfortunately DSS2 bears the brunt