tidying up after themselves <old chestnut> - quick poll

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

just wanted to do a quick poll really, as my friend and i with similar aged dc have very different attitudes to this one.

so - how old are your dc? do you expect them to tidy up after themselves? do you do it with them or expect them to pretty much get on with it? and finally do you have positive/negative consequences if they do/do not do it?

8 and 5
yes
Do it themselves, huge amounts of prompting
Both positive and negative consequences "If you get this room picked up, you shall have your Ds back, if you don't, i SHALL LOCK IT AWAY, WITH THE wII CONTROLLERS, AND YOU WON'T HAVE ANY SCREEN TIME UNTIL IT'S DONE.

Its my latest project with my 3, we've mastered flushing the toilet and washing our hands without nagging, so tidying next thing.

My lot are 15, 10 and 8 by the way!!

12 and 18. fully expect it and have done since around the age of 6. Treasured items removed if they don't do it after being asked several times. Actually, with the 18 year old, I just offer to embarrass him in front of his mates.

right, so the expectation that they do it themselves is normal, and them failing to do so is also normal. we are currently having twice daily battles over this involving epic sulks (dd1) and wild threats (me).

my friend does all it herself for a quiet life, and i must admit that her approach seems quite tempting - everything gets done quickly, efficiently, and with no nagging. but i think i would feel like a mug.

And Also what are you teaching your child if you routinely pick up after them?

dds are 17, 16, 11 and 10.

Yes I expect them to clear up after themselves and have done since they were about 6 or 7. But it doesn't often happen unprompted.

dd1 is the absolute worst at just chucking stuff around and leaving it.

DS is 3.11yrs. We do try and enforce the rule that he tidies his toys up. It is a ongoing battle but if he does it he gets praised. We tell him if he wants to get another toy out then he has to put the other ones away first. It is hard work and sometimes I will just get annoyed with all the pfaffing about but he is also made to do it at preschool so my theory is if he can do it there he can do it at home!

DD is 8 and has to tidy up after herself. I haven't helped her for at least three years, unless I need it done Very Quickly. She also has to wash her own plate etc after meals, and fold/put away her own washing, and feed her cat and keep his stuff clean.

DS is 9mo and I do clear up after him though

5 year old dd1- expect hope that she will do it herself. Went to nursery from a young age and so has always had to tidy up there and at school. She is very good at trying- but the results arent always that good, she often gets distracted by the fluffy bunnies in her head. She will get on with it herself but prefers if we do it together (results better then too!). If she doesnt do it- i just do it for her. Im happy that it will take time, shes still young and I know she knows its her job not mine

DCs 5 and 2, both have to tidy up. I help out. No consequences if they don't. If they're not bothering, I make it into more of a game. We have a great "tidy up" song on CD - can be sung without the CD. Often it helps if DC1 (5) doesn't want to do it, if I say "there's the playmobile and there's the drawing stuff, which do you want to tidy up? I'll do the other". Unfortunately I'm not concentrated enough to get them to tidy up one thing before they move on to the next.

DC's 4 and 2. Our house rule is that everyone helps at tidy up time. But we only have one tidy up time a day - 6pm. We all do it together. DS (4) is in charge of lego. DD (2) is in charge of jewellery. I'm in charge of everything else, but that doesn't mean I do it all - just make sure it is done and point out stuff that needs to go away. During the day it is basically a free for all (unless doing messy play or it gets too much to bear) but 6pm, we all tidy up together.

I quite like having lots of different things out at once. At the moment, DD is putting play money in a cup for her new teddy to drink! (?) DS has made a potato rocket from Mr Potato Head and some lego. As long as they are playing with respect for their toys, I think it encourages creativity. (At least that's what I tell myself.)

I completely agree, Camdancer.. You could be me! We end up having to tidy up quite a lot of different scenarios before bath time (or before I agree to put on a DVD, that works well..) but I like the fact that they flit from making a tent to setting up a picnic for the little people to parking all the emergency vehicles..
They don't have the luxury of a big garden to get lost in so I like to feel that we can give their imagination plenty of free reign in the house..

hijacking again.. Oops..