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Parenting

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Original poster

Starting bedtime routine - how and when?

12 replies

diyqueen · 05/05/2011 15:42

I have a lovely 6 week old dd who has a completely unpredictable pattern of waking and sleeping at the moment - I know this is completely normal for her age and am going with it at the moment, but I'm wondering at what stage most people start trying to get evenings into any kind of routine. At the moment evenings are generally her most awake and active time (though I think she does get tired by the end of the day as she often screams in the late evening and needs a lot of cuddling and jiggling to calm her down), and I just can't imagine her ever going to sleep at 7pm. Do babies naturally start getting sleepier in the evenings as they get older, or is it something that you need to help them to do somehow?

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CharlotteBronteSaurus · 05/05/2011 15:48

congratulations on your dd

i'd keep going with the flow for a good 3 months
i think most babies aren't that receptive to routines before then
both of mine were more ready for an early bedtime between 12-16weeks.

Ginabraz · 05/05/2011 15:49

Witching hours will probably continue for a long time.

I found routine helpful from the very start. I'd feed around 6pm then bath and then offer a top up before putting them down to bed at 7ish. This worked for my boys.

Ps: try to avoid jiggling to calm her and perhaps try swaddling....

Snarfle · 05/05/2011 18:47

Hi My DS is 10 weeks now and at about 9 weeks we introduced a routine of bath, then feed in a dark room and then bed after that. Bath would be 7.15, then feed and then bed about 8.30ish. Before this he slept on us downstairs but we noticed he was really sleepy around this time so started with the routine. I don't think this woudl have worked if we had started this earlier as don't think he woudl have been ready for it.

Congratulations btw

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emmyloo2 · 06/05/2011 08:08

I started a "bedtime routine" at about 8 weeks I think, however right from day 1 I would feed my baby in the bedroom with dimmed lights etc after about 7pm. But it wasn't until about 8 weeks that I started a real bedtime routine with bath and feed and then bed. I still have the same routine now and he is almost 6 months. He took to it really well and it was the only structure I had in my day for a long time. He goes to sleep now between 7.30pm and 8pm and I start the routine just before 7pm.

And same as Ginabraz, in the beginning I would feed, then bath, then feed again then swaddle and bed. He still gets swaddled because it seems to help him sleep. I need to figure out how to stop swaddling him but that's a whole other issue....

a13xandra · 06/05/2011 18:54

I suggest reading Healthy Sleep, Happy Child by Weissbluth. It has the exact ages sleep develops. Some kids do it naturally, others like mine need a lot of help!

Magicmayhem · 06/05/2011 19:08

congratulations on your DD
from birth I would give them a bath and massage at about 10.00pm and a feed in a darkened room and down to bed by 10.30, they usually woke once in the night for a feed, again in a darkened room, no nappy change and back down.. the night feed got later and later till they were going throw the night by 6 weeks, then I moved the bedtime forward about half an hour each week untill they were going 7pm to 7am...

the early evening like you say were often a nightmare, just when you want to cook dinner they would scream...
even when mine were asleep at 10pm in the early days I still woke them up and gave them a bath and a last feed

I think a routine saved my life but I appreciate its not for everyone... thought I was just lucky with my DD but DS had the same routine and it worked for him too.

edeluna · 06/05/2011 19:50

My baby is the same age. I started steering her towards a routine in her second week and she's been going to sleep from 7-10pm and 11pm-ish to 2 or 3am pretty regularly for the past several weeks. (I even got a solid five-hour block of sleep last night. Sweet!) Daytime naps can be more of a challenge, as can the hours from 3 to 7am, when she often wakes up regularly, but for the most part, the routine works.

I loosely follow the Gina Ford Contented Little Baby guidelines, but I don't worry about how many minutes my daughter has spent on each breast, or if she feeds more often than 3 hourly (she eats all the time, little thing!). I try to do the darkened room thing and keep things very calm and quiet during night-time feeds. If she misses a nap, or wakes early from one, I just try to get her to make up that sleep later in the day. But I'll also wake her for a feed when necessary.

It can be a challenge establishing the routine, and there have been a lot of rough days (especially during growth spurts), but there have also been really good days when I think the effort is more than paying off.

Good luck finding the approach that works for you!

Tigresswoods · 06/05/2011 20:36

I started at 12 weeks. I decided I wanted to put him down between 7pm and 8pm... cruicially I got him up that day at 7am in the morning and as such he had then been up for AGES by the time we got to 7pm.

Good luck!

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diyqueen · 08/05/2011 16:14

Thanks. We are keeping the evenings really low-key and some are better than others. When she's finally asleep she does tend to sleep well most of the time - we've just had two nights of an unbroken 6-hour stretch - heaven! I tried swaddling but she hates it and gets hot and frantic trying to escape. Those of you managing a 7pm bedtime, I'm curious - do your babies protest and yell for ages when you put them down or are you managing to get them to sleep with no fuss?

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MovingAndScared · 08/05/2011 20:15

Really depends on baby - my first took ages and ages before he was ready for a 7pm bed time -at least 12 weeks and then evening were quite a stuggle for sometime. 2nd one was getting grumpy downstairs at about 8 weeks -
I personally wouldn't let a baby that young protest or yell for more than a couple of mins max at that age -

BatFlattery · 08/05/2011 20:22

Like others have said, it really depends on the baby, and I don't think you can force the issue if they're not ready.

We started a bedtime routine at 7 weeks because DS was obviously ready for it (falling asleep with us downstairs, and only waking up when we disturbed him putting him to bed). We originally started off with calm-time and then bed at 8pm - no coming back downstairs once 'in bed', even if it meant we had to stay upstairs with him, although that never happened.

Over the last few weeks, DS has naturally been going to bed earlier and earlier so that now he is going down around 6.30/7 (he's now 17 weeks).

Good luck!

MayDayChild · 08/05/2011 20:44

Read baby whisperer.
Nice mix of you should do this and why not try this.
But def routine. Whatever suits you! We took travel cot if we went anywhere and stayed true to routine.
Mine both sleep like a dream from 7 to 7 every night. 4 and 10 months. Both had bedtime routine from week 1
Enjoy your baby!

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