How do you do naps with 2 under 2?!

[ExistentialistCat]

This can't be as impossible as it feels at the moment. I'm not the first person in the world to have two children under 2. So tell me, how do YOU do it?!

DD1 is 22 months old, DD2 is 7 months old. Over the two BH weekends and the week in between recently, we mostly stayed at home and got into this lovely pattern where DD2 would sleep from 9-10.30 and then both children slept 1-3. They were both happy and well-rested and for the first time DD2 didn't wake quite so early in the morning.

Now that we're back to normality, it's all going wrong. DD2 won't really sleep on the go, so after this morning's attempt to visit one of DD1's friends, I now have a desperately overtired baby who is refusing to nap.

What do I do? I need to find a way of balancing DD2's need for a morning sleep and DD1's much-loved activities...

Couldn't you do activities/meet DD1's friends over lunchtime or straight after one of the naps? My son (10 months) is the same, if naps go awry then he is extremely grumpy so I try to stick to it rigidly wherever possible. You can have some fun one-on-one time with DD1 while DD2 is having first nap, at 22 months I'm assuming her social diary isn't too full yet :-))

I did find this a total nightmare until I just gave in and made naps the focus of the day. Sounds sad, but actually meant that everyone was rested and behaved better in the end. I shortened the first nap to about 45 mins and then went out and did things, and then had the main nap at 1 - 3 for both.

We very rarely missed it - I am sure many of my friends thought I was insane as neither of them was brilliant at sleeping away from their own cot, so we often styayed quite local - but they have both always been great sleepers and indeed even the nearly 4 yr old will still have a nap on days when she is knackered (like today!).

I found that the small age gap means that they both still need the sleep so it is just not worth sacrificiing it for what feels like freedom but actually ends up with everyone crying and screaming by 4.30 (or maybe that was just us! )

I would prioritise the 1-3pm nap and see if the baby can have a quick nap before you try to go places in the morning so between 9 and 9.45 or longer if you're not rushing out. This worked for us...all up, baby back down for quick nap while I zipped round house/dried hair/packed bags. Totally ready to get out by 10ish and lift baby from sleep, out for the morning and always home for nap time 1-3ish (in fact 1-3 has been naptime in my house for the last 8 years!).

Dora - I see i pretty much repeated your post! I think because there are 2 so close (and my 2 had a big brother too) their world is VERY stimulating so they need some down time. My almost 3 year old is still napping 1-3...

At 7 months, the first nap could just be an hour, ie 9-10 at the latest. You can get ready to go out whilst they are napping, and basically hoist them straight from bed to the pram/car. That gives you a good couple of hours for a toddler group or visit/outing. Then home at 12 and lunch by 12.30, bed for both of them by 1 and a couple of hours of peace and quiet for you, plus non-grumpy children.

That's what I did, and that 2 hours where both of them were asleep was an absolute lifesaver.

(whisper....this is the gina ford 'routine'!)

Doh, x-posts.

Must be the right answer then!

I have to agree! Nannied for 2 under 2 (nannyshare) and think the 9-9.45 nap is vital if you're to get out for a decent spell, toddler group/friends etc. Then I insisted on being home for lunch by 1215 latest, lunch then nappy changes all round then bed either 1230-2.30 or 1-3. I kept things like library, park, friends houses for afternoons between 3-4 then home by 4.30 for tea by 5.

Have tried other ways but just ended up with overwrought, tired little ones who then wouldn't sleep in evening!

If you can get out to park/cafe etc in afternoon it gives baby a chance to sleep in pram/buggy on way home so they aren't screaming just as you try to get tea...

HTH.

I used to put the baby to bed at 9 and let him sleep for about 45 mins, gradually reducing to 20mins and he dropped it altogether at 15m. I would make plans that didn't start before 10am, and prioritised getting home and getting them both to bed after lunch, and afternoon plans didn't start til 3. People used to think it was really restrictive, but personally I'd have found it more restrictive to not know when my children were going to sleep, or for how long, or being afraid to wake them (robbing peter to pay paul in terms of waking from first nap so they slept longer at second nap). And I knew I'd get a 2 hour break in the middle of the day while both children slept as did I and I did housework and prepared the dinner.

Oooh lukewarm you said what I was thinking

Have to say this thread has really made me smile! Glad I am not the only one who has spent the last few years getting home for 12 15pm.

I always excused it by saying it was my 70s parenting style (as everyone else I knew was and is much more liberal about naps!) but am very glad to find I am not alone!

I just got mine both to sleep in the buggy if out, and then when get home move the little one to his cot and bigger one either stay in buggy or move to sofa (he has given up naps mostly now though, he is nearly 3)
I found the opposite with 2 under 2 than what a lot of people are saying, rather than being more regimented with the nap times or making it the focus, i became very flexible with my younger one and he just had to fit in and sleep when he was tired as we tend to be out and about. when I had just the 1 i did tend to do fixed nap times but with 2 of them I find it easier just take it as it comes, but I suppose it depends how easily settled the baby is, mine is not too bad will sleep outside and out and about if tired, does sleep longer if in his cot though but I wouldn't go home for it specially if I have plans

Thank you so much, everyone! I'm sorry not to have replied earlier - we had a nightmare afternoon and very screamy teatime following just 2 20-minute naps for DD2...

Your replies have really made me rethink things. I'd thought I was being too obsessive about naps and that DD2 just needed to learn to fit in (like Firawla said), but she's not exactly showing signs of thriving on that! I think I will rethink our weekly schedule of activities (yes, sad I know, but that's what I'm like) and move things so that DD2 can have a decent nap at home in the morning before we go out.

Thank you to everyone who took time to reply. It's really made a difference and has made me think again. It's also reassuring to hear that other people experience the same challenges.

Some will say I'm mad to think this, but I can't wait for them both to outgrow naps so that we're all free to do more things during the day!

Nope dont wish nap time away! I cant get anything done now! :)

It's great if you have a child that falls asleep in buggies and doesn't go into mega meltdown for days if tired, but unfortunately they are not all like that.

Dd1 simply would not sleep out and about, and didn't cope with the lack of sleep, hence the naptime routine. Dd2 will sleep fairly easily in the car etc if she's tired, but more importantly, copes much better if she doesn't get the sleep.

So don't feel like you're doing things wierdly or wrong if you have one like dd1 who just isn't that flexible.