How do you look after 3 small children?

[Eulalia]

A bit of a moan sorry but just wonderign how other others cope. I always seem to be behind in everything. House is a tip and am always behind with laundry, dishes etc (I know everyone is but you haven't seen my house!)

ds1 is 6 and has mild autism although it doesn't always seem mild when he is constantly shouting/hitting at his sister. They don't play well together so spend a lot of time keeping them apart. If they do play then its destructive type of play.

dd is 3.5 and very active, the sort of child that climbs all over you, pulls your fingers out of their sockets and says "mummeee" 3 million times a day. dd alone is enough to exhaust anyone.

ds2 is 3 months and although very easy baby is pretty much what small babies are like - need say no more!

dh works full time and works all weekend on renovating our house so I pretty much have one or two or three kids around all the time.

How does everyone else cope? Do you get help from family? I know there is no magic cure to my situation and I am emphasising the negative side of it here but curious to know how people cope - if they do it all on their own, or get help from their dp/dh, parents etc.

They may be talking about direct payments Eulalia. Worth following up. I get paid enough by SS for 8 hours help a weel during school terms and 15 hours a week during holidays. I can save the term hours up and use all the cash in the holidays oif I want. That is quite a high level of support, but a lot of SS depts are providing something now so worth asking.

Also are you getting carers allowance? With higher rate DLA you are entitled to it if you are earning less than £80 a week (you - not your dh)

dh just phoned and apologised for falling asleep last night. He was rather contrite.

Bozza - we do get a little help from some of dh's students who we are paying. We just have one at the moment as some of them were so unreliable and wouldn't turn up. A 'proper' man (or woman!) would just be too expensive.

Yes baka I get CA allowance too and was surprised to get high DLA but actually when I wrote it all down for the application I realised just how much work he is. He isn't severe but still needs almost constant supervision and still isn't to be trusted to wash his own hands for example. And although he can dress himself he often won't. Even doing his homework is a struggle as he is distracted so easily. At least I can understand him now and the irony of it is that he is now getting SALT!

How are things with you BTW - I should pop across to the SN section I know.

I've started spending a bit more on myself too as it was ridiculous as our DLA/CA was just going in building materials! So for example I don't think twice about going out for a coffee or even a meal for the kids at the weekend. I should buy myself some new clothes but never seem to have time to shop. eBay is good though although looking at Christmas stuff just now as no way I am going round the shops.

It's supervision that is the issue really. It's why an extra pair of hands makes such a big difference.

Yep but its amazing ds is getting quite sneaky about pinching dd. Also he scratched her really hard recently right in front of us. My fault really in a way - all I had said in a slightly irrate tone to dd was "don't put that DVD on again" ds started shouting at her and we put him out the room and then he ran in after and scratched her. I asked him why he'd done it and he said it was because she wanted the DVD on again which was 'wrong'. I thought it would be easier when he could speak better but it doesn't seem to have changed his behaviour much at all... ah well...at least I have an insight into what is going on in his head. Sorry rambling about ds now!

My DS1 is the master of the sneaky pinch. Good job DS2's such an easygoing character. And fortunately DS1 has adored DS3 ever since the day he was born, so I don't think he'd ever do anything to him.