Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Full Time Working Parents

10 replies

Justine2912 · 02/05/2011 19:39

I have just had a really heart renching conversation with my Ds (4) hes back at pre school tomorrow after the holidays and because my DH and I work full time he goes to a nursery after preschool. Well tonight he tells me that he wants me to take him to Pre school and pick him up after wards. I have asked him if anything is upsetting him at Nursery but he says nothing is. Not sure if its an age thing or he really doesnt want to go to Nursery. I feel really awful as would love to be able to pick him up and take him to school etc but logistics just dont allow it.

I dont know what to give back in an answer to him. I have explained to him that in order to have toys, games etc then mummy and daddy both need to work but dont think he quiet gets that concept yet.

Any suggestions in getting this across in a simple manner would really help?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

RitaMorgan · 02/05/2011 19:43

Is there no way either of you can cut down your hours?

MollieO · 02/05/2011 19:46

It's probably because he sees friends collected at that time and he isnt. Could you work on his friendships with other dcs who do the same?

scottishmummy · 02/05/2011 19:47

big up nursery,involve him in the going back.keep upbeat
what clothes do you want to wear,you chose!
what fave toy do you want to take for show and tell,you chose!
talk about work as a positive,today at work mummy did....
talk about other pals who have working parents,again in a positive

to an extent a 4yo wont understand the baseline of need to work,so don't stress out about how to keep explaining it .like you're doing keep concrete. when we go to the cafe mummy pays with money i get at work

dont veer into an apologist guilty thang about this. working is a good role model,and is positive to see mummy work and contribute

they are always reluctant to return after any time off. naturally,they have had a good time

dont worry too much,this is natural

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

cheekydino · 02/05/2011 19:56

I sympathise! My ds (2.5) goes to nursery fulltime as we both work (both out of financial need and our sanity). Most days he loves it, but after we've had time off with him, he tends to get upset going back again. I know he's younger than your ds, but I reassure myself knowing that he always has a great time when he's there. (The staff always say that, and they're quick to point out when there's a problem normally). Have you tried explaining that even though you can't be there you wish you could be, and instead tell him of some fun thing you can do together when you get him at the end of the day? Eg - I can't be there for you at lunch time but tonight when you get home I'll cook your favourite tea/take you for pizza/play your favourite game with you/take you to the playground etc? He's probably just realised after the holidays how much fun you are and how much he'd love to play with you more. I don't think kids get the money argument.

Tomorrow he'll probably remember how much fun nursery is - by Friday he'll probably be running away from you when you go to pick him up as he'll be having so much fun.

cheekydino · 02/05/2011 19:58

Just read scottishmummy's post and agree entirely with what she said too!

Whatevertheweather · 02/05/2011 20:09

Ritamorgan - not exactly helpful - I'm sure op would have thought about that. If only it were that simple

justine2912 - totally agree with scottishmummy - positive talk of pre-school nursery does my dd also 4 the world of good. She is there 3 full days and I have 'encouraged' her frirdships with other children that are there for full days rather than just early years free pre school hours. Seems to help as she sees nothing out of the ordinary with it. Now that she is gearing up for school as well I try and talk about all the good things she is learning at pre school will help her at big school and how big school isn't a choice and so really she is lucky that she will be more used to it than other children.

Good luck -it can be heart wrenching but focus on how he seems at pick up rather than drop off

Whatevertheweather · 02/05/2011 20:12

Sorry should have said she's with my mum the other 2 days but she sometimes says she doesn't want to go there but actually she loves it and it means I do know it's not just about not wanting to go to pre school

TheMonster · 02/05/2011 20:14

Weh ave the same withour DS, who is 4 and a half. I tell him we work to earn money so we can do nice things at the weekend. He's ok with that.
However, he absolutely loves it when one of us is able to pick him up from school, and he tells everyone days in advance. It breaks my heart.

nailak · 02/05/2011 20:23

my dd every day says she doesnt want to o to nursery and we have to fiht to et her ready but once shes there is absolutely fine, it is because she thinks she is missin out on thins at home with the youner kids and because they dont let her watch tv at school

scottishmummy · 02/05/2011 20:26

my dc attended nursery since 6mth,go fulltime.love nursery

Flip