sleep question for those of you attachment parenting

[firsttimer78]

DS is 6.5mo. Attachment parenting is probably the closest description for how we look after him I think. Have tended to co-sleep for most of last few months as he feeds lots through the night, despite being on very healthy portions of solids three times a day!

Am starting to think however that night feeding is more for comfort than genuine hunger and want to try reducing these - I'm due to go back to work in a month [sniff] and think I'm going to really struggle on my current sleep ration! So, this is my plan but I feel really guilty that I'll be denying him something he obviously enjoys and takes comfort from. Any stories/hints/tips to help me?

Bumping this because I've been wondering too.
I found I was following AP principles without realising. Carried DD everywhere, responded to her cues, co-slept alot.
She's 10 months now and also wakes a few times a night to feed (bottle).

I'm afraid my 21mo still wakes for milk in the night, so can't help with great wisdom on that front.

The only thing I would say, and the reason we still "let her" have milk in the night is that surely the need for comfort is just as valid as the need for nutrition?

If your LO is upset during the day, you soothe them. Why shouldn't they expect the same at night?

Thanks MrsB! I've been trying to persevere at keeping him in his cot more this week - mixed success due to sore gums! I do still seem to get a better sleep the nights we co-sleep so maybe I will just keep going like this and acept the 2 hourly feeds. DH getting fed up of sleeping on sofa tho! (althouggh that is entirely his chooice!)

Very good point JALBRC! Think I've maybe let others opinions distract me a bit - you know, the 'helpful' isn't-he-sleeping-through-yet? ones and that's why I've been feeling guilty. As we were I think!

Sounds like a plan

It is hard when everyone else seems to think their babies suddenly don't actually need all the things they normally do, just because it's the middle of the night!

If you're feeling pressured by others, try and surround yourself with a few more AP-style friends if you can. It made the world of difference to me and the way I parent, to be surrounded by others who made the same choices as me and lived to tell the tale. www.naturalmamas.co.uk/forum is a great site to meet other AP's. Most of us Babywear, and that's what's brought us together. But you don't have to be a babywearer to join by any means. Maybe check it out. You too MrsBonkers.

With both of my two, the transition to not feeding at night was not as hard as I expected. With both of them, I just started cuddling them (in my bed) instead of feeding them and I was surprised that that was ok too. The milk was not necessary for the comfort - it was the closeness that they needed.
Having said that, with DD, 5 years down the line she still needs lots of cuddles at night... I can understand that and am happy to give the cuddles but DH really struggles with getting a good night's sleep!

My life saving techniques when I returned to work (DD was 6 months and waking three or four times a night) were basically to co sleep and go to bed very very early!

When I did night wean her (at 18 months) I read this very helpful article first.

Although the article doesn't encourage night weaning babies under the age of one, there might be some useful tips for at least reducing the frequency of feeds.

Good luck!

ds is 15m and still feeds at night. He also occasionally wakes up and needs solids so i'm more than happy to try a boob first. Most of the time a boob sends him (and therefore me) back to sleep in minutes. We cosleep and i'm happy with this.
I'm pg so was wondering about night weaning but really don't feel his feeds are a problem so won't bother! Also i don't know if he might still wake hungry or whatever and i'd end up being up in the night, with one less way of resettling him.

I did find developmental stages make a huge difference. Ds started sleeping really well around 8m and then started waking a lot. As soon as he cracked walking he started sleeping much better again. He prob feeds three times at the moment, but often only for a minute as i said.

You may find that your ds suddenly sleeps better when he gets over some developmental hump or another.

Also you may find his sleep worsens for a similar reason or teething, illness etc, and in these circumstances you may appreciate being able to feed in the night.

Can you play it by ear as you start back at work and see if he naturally drops feeds anyway? If not you can night wean knowing you gave him as long as possible to do it himself.

Simic - cuddles just don't cut the mustard during the night! Well, at least not until after a belly full of milk!! He's always been a hungry baby anyway and now he's a bit more mobile I often wake up and find he's latched himself on...hungry monster!

MoonFace - I hadn't really thought about how me going back to work might unsettle him in terms of sleeping/feeding (mainly because I'm trying not to think about going back to work at all). I'm going to carry on as we are and just do as Gastrognome suggests and get to bed earlier!

Thanks everyone, isn't it funny how the littlest thing makes you doubt your whole parenting strategy?!

I did the co-sleeping breastfeeding thing with my son, he enjoyed it for 2.5 years before I decided to stop it. I put him in a bed next to me (not with me) to stop him feeding at night, as I felt he was doing it too much and it wasn't necessary (and I was tired).
We had a few nights of crying. But actually, within 3 nights he'd given up and slept through. Having him seperate (but near me) helped, as if I moved in the night I then didn't wake him.
My youngest son is now 1year old and co-sleeping/breastfeeding and I aim to seperate him from me also quite soon, dare I say, with the aid of a bottle he now already has a night (to give me a bit of a break).

I think what you're doing is brilliant for the health and wellbeing of your baby, but you'll know when the time is right to take the next step.

I think you're right about needing to surround myself with like-minded people.
I don't see the problem with feeding DD at night, after all I sometimes get up and get a bowl of cereal if I'm feeling restless, as a full belly seems to settle me :)
But when enough people ask the dreaded 'Is she sleeping through?' question, you do start to doubt yourself.

Well, he's thrown me a curve ball this week! (why am I still surprised when he changes the rules with no warning?!) After a couple of days being very busy physically, he has been going down at 6 as usual, sleeping soundly until between midnight and 2am, having a quick feed, going back down in own cot until 3/4ish then coming in with me. Looking to feed a lot less at night generally. Given that this has also coincided with the arrival of first tooth I'm quite surprised to say the least! I have three theories:

1. Tired himself out scooting about in baby walker sufficiently to flake in the evening.
2. Ticking clock in room at mum's has helped in some way - not sure how!
3. He has read my posts on here and thought he'd give me a break!!!

How are you getting on MrsB?

She goes down about 8-9pm sleeps through til about 2, feed straight back to sleep, wakes atabout 5 then comes in with me until about 10am.

She's been really fussy with food this week though. Up until now we've been giving her finger foods and she's eaten pretty much everything - now she just drops it off the highchair for the dog!