have I done the right thing?

[BrokenBananaTantrum]

DD has been co sleeping with us for 2 years. She is now 4.9 yo. This morning she said that she wanted to sleep I'm her own room tonight so we got her room sorted out as she wanted it and she was really enthusiastic. I got her settled in her room and 5 minutes later she started to cry and say she wanted to come back in with us. I didn't give in and gave her loads of encouragement to get her to stay, talking about how she could get up and play in the morning and that I would take her to build a bear tomorrow if she sleeps there all night. She eventually went to sleep and is still asleep but I feel like a shit for making her stay in her own bed when she cried.

Have I done the right thing or am I a horrible mum?

sounds like you did the right thing to me - how long did it take her to go off?
:)

i think if you calmed her down and then she went to sleep it's fine...

Phew. Took 15 mins but she was really tired.

You are so not a horrible mum - you sound like a lovely mum who knew just the right things to say to ease her distress. And now she is asleep, looking forward to lovely things happening tomorrow. Sorted.

Oh no that sounds very gentle.

I've never done co-sleeping (not for moral reasons, just not practical), and my DD can try and guilt me into not staying put but I don't give in either.

I don't think I'm damaging her in any way, but she'll try a few tricks. I think they look to you to try and guage your resolve.

My DD stayed with MIL a few weeks ago, and she woke up at 4.30am and convinced her to start the day by messing around, drinks, wees, needing tucking in, coming into Nanna's bed etc etc. Next day she was obviously knackered and very tantrummy (with us, MIL was long gone!) And it didn't do anyone any favours.

We can't cosleep (there's not enough space for me and DH and our various limbs, let alone another person ) but I wish DD was old enough to understand the reasons to stay in her cot. She's only 11 months, but when she cries to come out and it's clearly night time I feel so bad for not letting her out and making her cry.

You've done the right thing. Sounds like you're going to have a lovely day tomorrow!

Thanks. She was calm when she went to sleep. I just felt horrid :(
Should I return her to her bed if she gets up?
Jeez this parenting thing is fraught with uncertainty isn't it?

Go with your gut feeling - does she usually wake in the night?

I personally favour the minimal contact/rapid return technique.

So when DD moved into a big bed and knew she could repeatedly get out of bed, I used to just keep leading her back saying 'it's night time now, no more talking'.

Even tonight she got up 5 mins after going to bed, and when I led her back to bed she was asking what I was having for dinnner. If I'd have said kedgeree, she'd have then asked if I was having pudding etc etc

Yes just take her back to her bed gently and give her lots of cuddles. Lots of praise tomorrow morning.

She doesn't normally wake up at all si hopefully it won't be a problem. I'll try leading her back gently and try not to talk much. I don't have much experience with this as she has been in with is for ages. Thanks for your suggestions and support

Well she just got up and I've managed to pop her back without any problems. Hope we can keep this up.