Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

[becks130]

Hi all,

I am a fellow mother of two and expecting my third bundle of joy, but on top of being a parent I also study full time in hope that one day I can become a primary school teacher. As part of the course that I am currently doing which is an access to teaching course I have been asked to do a research project, I have decided to do mine on pregnancy and parenting of the over 35's and under 35's and compare both parenting and pregnancy in both age groups. I though that this would be a great place to get a broad response so if you have a spare 5 minutes I would really appreciate if you would be willing to answer a few questions about your own experiences, of course all feedback is completely confidential and you can send me an email if you wish to.

Thank you very much.
Rebecca x

QUESTIONS:

1. What was your age when you became pregnant?
2. Was the pregnancy planned?
3. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind?
4. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications?
5. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression?

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child?

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family?
2. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision?

Many Thanks for taking part.

I'll do it. Am 27 ds is 2. Dp is 42 and can make him answer too if you like?

cheekylittlenamechange That would be great thanks x

I'll answer mine for my first pregnancy (have 2 children 2.2yrs apart)

1. 19
2. Yes
3. No - got pregnant within the first few days of trying
4. Pregnancy was ok... Usual aches and pains I guess, nothing major. Was induced in the end because of low amniotic fluid. (second baby was enormous and I was thoroughly miserable)
5. I found everything physically easy except breastfeeding which was a struggle (easy with my second though thanks to better support). Got PND, which was to some extent inevitable as I'd had severe depression before (hospitalised), but I think triggered by the breastfeeding difficulty as I felt like a failure.
6. N/A
7. My DH is a lot older and it basically just felt right. I think I felt maternal very early, I never wanted to go out and throw myself into a career etc, all I wanted was to be a mum. My parents were 35/37 and it was probably their personalities that made my childhood lonely and boring, but it did influence the decision.
8. I have two wonderful children so yes it was definitely right :)

1. What was your age when you became pregnant? 36 (miscarriage), 37 baby girl
2. Was the pregnancy planned? yes
3. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind? naturally
4. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications? Pregnancy ok. But prolapse and incontinence after birth.
5. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression? Some I think - but didn't seek treatment.

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child? Met partner late in life.

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family?
2. Looking back do you feel you made the right decision? I probably would have started earlier if the circumstances had been right. i.e. financially ok, partner long-term.

1. What was your age when you became pregnant?

32 with first child, 35 with second.

1. Was the pregnancy planned?

Yes

1. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind?

Yes, though for second pregnancy I had to wait until GP had given the go-ahead due to blood pressure problems (but those I have had since age 20, so nothing to do with age)

1. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications?

Bleeding and high blood pressure in both pregnancies, IUGR in both pregnancies, pre-eclampsia and bad reaction to medication in second pregnancy, fairly long ante-natal hospital stays in both pregnancies, and early induction with both pregnancies.

1. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression?

felt ok, though struggled a bit when dd became failure to thrive (due to undiagnosed genetic condition, nothing to do with my health)

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child?

Medical, had to wait for blood pressure medication to be sorted

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family?

Was ready for first child at 32.

1. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision?

Wish I could have had second dc earlier, but clearly had to think of safety.

1. DD1 at 33 & DD2 at 34
2. yes to both
3. naturally
4. 1st pregnancy just fine, second had two prolapsed discs in lumbar spine
5. Fine after first pregnancy. My back problems in second pregancy and DD2 serious illness when a few weeks old lead to minor PND which didn't need treatment (except for sleeping tablets for short period).
6. Not over 35 but close to it - met partner later in life
7. As above.
8. Maybe 5 years earlier if circumstances right (but in hindsight would've left a bigger gap between pregnancies to allow body to recover fully!)

Good luck with the research.

1. 29
2. Yes
3. Naturally
4. No probs during pregnancy but had to have emcs
5. Little bit of baby blues, nothing major
6. n/a
7. married/financially secure/felt like right time
8. Yes

I'll do it too if thats ok

1. What was your age when you became pregnant?

26, starting TTC at 21

1. Was the pregnancy planned?

Yes and no, wanted children but had given up after 5 MC and it was unexpected

1. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind?

Fell naturally

1. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications?

Was an absolute breeze, had never felt healthier

1. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression?

Got bad PND, needed home help, pills and psychotherapy, but it was situational rather than hormonal
6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child?

N/A

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family?

Wanted to start young so I had to time to have a big family, but stopped at 2 DC

1. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision? Yes, definitely

1. 28
2. yes
3. naturally
4. normal, no complications, textbook birth.
5. was euphoric but suffered from mild anxiety (panic about baby having accident/dying)
6. n/a
7. felt incredibly broody
8. its the best thing i have ever done. :)

1. 29
2. Yes
3. Naturally
4. Normal. No complications.
5. I found it quite hard. Didn't actually get PND but was very down at times, wondering if I had made the right decision. Felt a bit trapped despite having wanted a child for ages.

1. It was what DH and I wanted, we felt ready emotionally and financially, secure jobs etc. Hormones raging. Didn't want to leave it any longer in case of problems trying to conceive.
2. Yes, absolutely, but would have also liked to have started sooner if circumstances had been right.

1.21

1. Yes
2. Naturally, 9 months of ttc
3. None whatsoever.
4. No PND but found the first few months hard and bf difficult. Not much peer support either- all my friends have waited until their late twenties/early thirties to conceive.
5. We wanted a child- I had finished exams but not yet working, dh (7 years older) had a comfortable income, and I was young, in love and a little naive, possibly.
6. Absolutely the right decision. Dd is now 10, dh and I as much in love as ever, and she is amazing. Am now 31 and have career back on track and a little more freedom which I am young enough to enjoy. In 8 years she will be 18 and I will only be 39. Hopefully I will be able to enjoy grandchildren for longer too.

However, I do think I would be better able to cope with the sleepless nights and demands of bf was I to get pregnant now. I was fairly naive and the enormity of the responsibility was somewhat unexpected.

1. What was your age when you became pregnant? 27
2. Was the pregnancy planned? yes
3. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind? naturally
4. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications? no complications
5. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression? coped ok - no to pnd

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child?

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family? Knew we wanted children so didn't want to leave it too late in case found we couldn't (I had had an prior illness that meant that I could find it harder to conceive, although in the event I didn't find it hard). Also I felt like I had built up my career 'enough' to be able to ask for flexible working etc
2. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision? yes, especially as i am now pregnant for the 3rd time at 33 - if all goes well with this pregnancy I will be done with having babies at 34 which, to me, feels about the right time. Work wise I waited long enough that my career was already established, and I am now experienced enough to freelance around the kids.

1. What was your age when you became pregnant? 37 and 40
2. Was the pregnancy planned? Yes
3. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind? Naturally
4. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications? None at all
5. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression? Awful PND

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child? Hadn't met the right man earlier

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family?
2. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision? Absolutely. It would have been nice to start earlier and I would have probably had a third if so, but I had an absorbing career for 10 years, and a partner who didn't want children, met dh and then things just worked out right for us.

! - 37 (althought I had had around 9 or 10 MC)
2 - Yes, but a surprise

1. I'd had my ovaries drilled - PCOS and one lot of Clomid that didn't work so my pregnancy was a huge surprise.
2. Hated being pregnant, was in Oman and had a cervical suture to stop DD falling out, diabetes investigations and it was just bloody horrible. She was born by planned CS at 37 weeks.
3. Coped fine
4. TBH, I'd given up the idea of having a baby after the failed clomid

8- Without any doubt. She has changed our lives beyond anything and I wouldn't be without her - except on the days when she is a madam.

Thank you all so much for the help x Anyone else wanting to join in would be great the more replies I have the better my comparison can be.

1. 36
2. Yes
3. Yes, clomid (didn't work) and IVF x 2, including a frozen embryo transfer.
4. Loved being pregnant! had Pre-eclampsia,and had a Pullmonary embolism, Cardio Myopathy,& Pneumonia immediately after birth
5. No PND just surviving the above! I had suffered with depression due to infertility & treatments previously and was fully expecting it, but I have been lucky.
6. Didn't, been trying 6 years!
7. N/a
8. Absolutely, If I had left it later than when we started trying it may have been too late!

1. What was your age when you became pregnant? 37
2. Was the pregnancy planned? Yes
3. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind? Naturally
4. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications? Straightforward pregnancy though we did discover that I had fibroids at my first scan. These didn't cause any problems with delivery.
5. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression? Coped fine - no issues apart from both of us being completely clueless at the beginning!

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child? Didn't meed DH until I was 30 and I didn't feel 'broody' until 35ish

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family?
2. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision? Yes though obviously if I'd met DH sooner we might have decided to have children earlier.

1. What was your age when you became pregnant? 29

1. Was the pregnancy planned? yes though i fell pegnant much quicker than i had expected

1. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind? naturally

1. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications? sick throughout, medicated for heartburn but still struggled, huuuge water retention, acne, terrible ibs - did not enjoy one single minute of it

1. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression? no problems at all except for the inevitable first few weepy days, despite my father being incredibly ill

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child?

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family? career settled, owned a house, just got married, felt like my biological clock was ticking and if i wanted more than one child, i ought to start - didnt expect to get pregnant immediately

1. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision? most definitely, though it is by far the hardest thing i have ever done

1. What was your age when you became pregnant? 29, 30 when gave birth

1. Was the pregnancy planned? Yes, but happened much quicker than expected

1. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind? naturally

1. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications? Horrible. Hated every minute although it wasn't that bad compared to others (some sickness, etc). However, premature birth at 33 weeks, no cause found. Horrified by the relief I felt at not being pregnant anymore. Retained placenta. DS 4 weeks in SCBU but no other apparent issues apart from being 6 weeks behind his peers.

1. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression? Really well, despite the SCBU stay / stuck in the house due to the weather, etc. I had suffered from depression in the past so this surprised me. I find parenting infinitely harder now, at the toddler stage.

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child? N/A

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason for choosing this time to start a family? I was stuck in a job I hated and that concentrated my mind on the fact it was the right time. It was a get out clause and an excuse to get going. We'd been married 3 years, had a house big enough to put children in and DH was nearer 40 than 30. Everything stacked up to get on with it

1. Looking back do you feel you made the right decision? Absolutely. I found an amazing new job while on maternity leave and I still wouldn't change a thing

QUESTIONS:

1. What was your age when you first became pregnant? 27
2. Was the pregnancy planned? yes
3. Did you fall pregnant naturally or did you require fertility treatment of any kind? naturally
4. How did you find your pregnancy? Did you suffer complications? difficult, many complications. Early haemorrage. SPD. Twin pregnancy, IUGR resulting in one stillbirth, one premature baby- 32 weeks
5. How do you feel that you coped after the birth. Did you suffer from baby blues or post natal depression? No, but PTSD (see above) Coped very well, considering

6.If you are over the age of 35 what were your reasons for waiting to have a child? N/A

1. If you are under the age of 35 what were your reason s for choosing this time to start a family? recently married, getting older
2. Looking back do you feel you made the right dicision decision ? yes

1. 28
2. Yes
3. Naturally
4. Was really lucky - no serious complications at all. Worst I had was anamia (sorted with iron tablets). Apart from being v.tired in the early weeks, I felt well and could carry on pretty much as normal.
5. I think I coped well. I am fortunate to have a wonderful DH and extended family close by. Think it was a bit of a culture shock in terms of lack of sleep/amount of time BF but on the whole we were fine.

6.N/A 7.Recently married, qualified into profession and had some PQE so felt able to take a break, DH starting to worry about being an 'old dad' (at 34!), always wanted to be a mummy and it just felt like the right time.

1. Absolutely!