Can anyone give me arealistic idea of what it's like to return to full time study when you have school age children?

[peggotty]

I'm thinking of applying to do Occupational Therapy - if I got in, my youngest dc would just be starting reception and my oldest in year 3. I think it's quite a full on course, with placements and not necessarily sticking to term time hours, so would have the inevitable child care issues. I have been a SAHM for the last 6+ years and have lost a lot of confidence so this would be a huge leap for me but I really want to do it. Is it stressful trying to study combined with looking after a family? My DH works in a stressful job that wouldn't allow him to be be particularily flexible about picking up kids from school/helping out with housework etc, so that would still be down to me. Can anyone tell me their experiences good and bad of full time study and how it works when you have a family? Thanks!!

I chickened out, with four children, I tried the OU and then transferred part time to a Brick Uni. I find they are not helpful or accommodating as most of their students are 18 without child care issues. I feel constantly pulled, I was a SAHM for all of their lives, their father walked out, and suddenly their mother is growling at them to go away so she can maintain her train of thought when writing an essay!

However, I am a better, confident, happier woman for it all. They may live on chicken nuggets and microwave pizzas and resent being shipped over to their grandmother once a week so I can attend lectures, but I know they are getting a lot out of seeing me pursue a dream and working v hard to attain it.

It's manipulation on a grand scale but you sound so enthusiastic and keen that I think you will manage it very well and the children will have a happy satisfied mother.

Thanks Matureuni, that's helpful. I feel that this course would finally see me 'fulfill my potential', cheesy as it sounds - I've never had a job that I have felt I really enjoyed - and I have suffered from low self esteem most of my life and I feel like I want to do something to improve my confidence now!

And well done to you - you have had things harder than me and proven it is possible to do it! What course are you doing?

Hi, I did a year of ot and it is full on, you will need a good childminder and discipline to study when they are in bed but it's worth it! Most uni's will consider your childcare when it comes to placement location too!

It's challenging, as other posters have said, but also really worthwhile. Sorting out childcare when you start can sometimes be tricky, as universities can be slow in giving out timetable information.

I've been quite lucky, the university I study at (very traditional, most students are young) has been understanding when DD's been ill or the childminder let me down.

I did an English degree at a brick uni. I had 5 children when I started and 7 when I finished lol, but I can honestly say it was far easier than working as I had been previously. However, my degree was probably a lot less full on than OT. I start my PGCE in September which is very demanding with block placements and I'm very nervous about how we will all cope.

you will need childcare and family support. For example, my sister changed to working at home one day a week so she could pick up my younger kids and give them auntie time. My childminder is also wonderful, and she feeds dd dinner, and all three are on school dinners obviously.
If you want to do it, then you will find a way of doing so. Its like a full on job, but without the pay .

My mom used to be up at two so she coudl get work done wihtout us derailing her. I am in another city five days a week so i can get my work done and be home for the weekend of no work with the kids. Its all about sacrifices and what you are willing to do.

i've done it twice. seriously hard work but doable.
started nursing degree when DD2 started school. hard work but not too bad as they went to bed at a decent hour. MUCH harder work doing my next degree when the DDs were 11 and 13.

You need massive support from partner/family for all the silly hours you will be expected to work. and never try to use childcare issues as an excuse for anything.

Law, and my frustration is that if your child is ill or whatever, you cannot access a recording of the lecture. Such a simple thing but the lectures are not recorded and posted on our Uni website.

And you are right, I will have to wait until late summer for the year's timetable which makes it a nightmare to organise childcare.

I think there is a study at a uni into this, going on at the moment - much needed as students are more mature these days and I personally think that people with carer issues should be consider more.

I am doing a PGCE with DD1 in full time reception and DD2 in full time nursery, which she only started as I started the course, so that was fun.
I have a DH who works split shifts so he can pick up DD1 on occasion, otherwise I depend on my lovely friend who walks DD1 into breakfast club and then picks her up afterwards. School has no afteschool club which is massive PITA. I am also lucky that DD2's nursery will take DD1 on days when school is shut but I have to work (inset, or election for example)

Mine is full time as well, with uni days 9-5 and school days 9-4ish so it's a bit manic but I am coping okay (although not got final essays in yet...)
I have a lot fo work to do out of uni but made it a rule from veyr early on to do no work while DD's were up, so I would get home, do tea and bed and then study for 3 hours. This mean no time with DH so I try and do less in the evening and have a morning at weekends if I can.
I take every spare minute of time during the day to work, my mentor said that they could tell they had never had a student with kids before as I am working every luncha dn breaktime to save me doing it later!

The house is a complete shit tip though, i mean, it was never perfect but now it's disgusting. The girls don't seem to mind though, on a few occasions I have been abel to pick DD1 up from school or pop into assembly type things ahs has helped. They understand when I am working not to disturb me, or that certain things are mummy's work and Must Not Be Touched

My tips woudl be to tell everyone you are studying, whether it is school, so they know if you forget stuff (DD1's school has been brilliant about me being absent minded), uni, so that childcare issues aren't a shock (I was allowed to take DD2 into a 121 with my tutor as she had been vomiting and couldn't go back to nursery for 48 hours) and your fellow students so they understand that you can't do all the social stuff but aren't a boring git!
The other students on my course have been fab, helping me out with ideas/research when I have needed it. And other mothers at school have been brilliant with lifts/drop offs/having dd's for tea when I am desperate.

In short (hah!) it is doable, and I find that, although loads say 'ooh, I don't know how you do it' you can prioritise a lot better than the younger students. After being a SAHM for 5 years I especially like the chance to have lunch at uni with grownups who have no kids and discuss grown up things, it's like a massive novelty to me. Good luck!

My lecturer refused my 10 yr old who would have played his nintendo without a murmour. (doubtless quieter than the chattering 18 yr olds who to my horror text and play games on their iphone things) Perhaps the OU is more helpful. Brick isn't me thinks.

I am not OU, mine is brick, but my tutors all have children and I was vyer upfront at the interview about not having much support but being determined to do it.
I was plannign to take her home after the 121 but she insisted she could stay for the lecture, which would have been fine but when I told her to 'whisper' she thought I said 'whistle'
It depends very much on lecturers I think.

Your lecturer is a git MUS

Thanks for all the honest answers. I will have no support from family - they all live hundreds of miles away . Am having a wobble about it all now . My dh is supportive in theory but couldn't help out practically if I got in...

I am doing speech therapy atm, which is similar in regard to placements and non standard hours.

It is ok wrt to children/childcare.

I have done my first year and coped with full time nursery place for my youngest, which is actualy the easiest, as it is available 8-6 every day but he doesnt have to go ever.

Dd goes to onsite afterschool club on the days i finish late, which is great. She also had a CM for dropoff when lecturers start at 9 am....not so great but there is no breakfast club at school.

It is currently exam season, which has been a really, huge struggle as there has been no school and there are no holiday clubs etc. on the multitude of bank holidays.

yy, essay writing is my problem atm as I have full time nursery places but can't use them over bank holidays.

I chose nursery over CM as I need the reassurance that they won't get sick and leave me with no childcare. Much as I'd prefer a CM tbh. The only time they have shut was on that Snow day, but luckily Uni was shut too so my panic only lasted about 5 minutes

I got 70% so the growling was worth it, but I still feel guilty. I guess though, if I ever work full time, that guilt will be nothing compared to never being home when they return from school..... latch key kids. Sigh.