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Original poster

How much would this upset you?

33 replies

emkana · 25/04/2011 08:40

I had prepared an egg hunt for my three dcs yesterday, they are nine, seven and four. Three minutes in the seven year old started having a massive strop and thereby ruined the egg hunt. I was just so, so angry and disappointed, because it's a special thing I had planned and can't easily be repeated, but not sure if I'm overreacting to be so upset about it?

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Tee2072 · 25/04/2011 08:41

You are entitled to your feelings, of course, but perhaps not take it quite so personally? Children have strops, it's a fact of life, unfortunately!

What was the strop about?

Original poster

emkana · 25/04/2011 08:44

It was because she was finding and picking up things really fast and I told her to slow down to give her little brother a chance.

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Tee2072 · 25/04/2011 08:47

Do you tell her that a lot? To give her little brother a chance? Maybe next time, if there is a next time, let her get on with it and have a separate bit for her little brother?

But if she hears all the time 'wait for your little brother' I can see why she stropped. She was having fun and you stopped her for no reason she can really understand. Why should she wait for him? He should keep up! (this is what she's thinking, not what I think!)

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Original poster

emkana · 25/04/2011 09:02

Hmm not sure, don't you think she can be expected to think of others?

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Tee2072 · 25/04/2011 09:14

Maybe normally, but I'm sure she was excited and such and just didn't think.

And, I reiterate, if she hears 'watch out for your little brother' all the time, it may have been one time too many. 7 is still very young to always be thinking about other people, especially when excited.

geraldinetheluckygoat · 25/04/2011 09:21

We had older ones and little ones doing an egg hunt yesterday, and they were all told that there were four eggs each, so once they had found their four, they could go and eat one... Maybe in this sort of situation, tell her your expectations before the excitement of the activity begins

Rosebud05 · 25/04/2011 09:48

I don't think in these sorts of situations that it's about thinking of others or not tbh.

It's more that she'd been set a challenge ie find eggs then felt that the goal posts had changed ie slow down.

I'd agree with 'separate activities' within one ie each child has their own colour eggs to find with the older ones' eggs having been put in trickier places.

It's bloody irritating when something that could be a simple pleasure turns into a strop-fest, though, definitely agree with that!

slovenlydotcom · 25/04/2011 09:49

she was probably so excited and wound up that she got carried away. I have some sympathy with her tbh.

Prunnhilda · 25/04/2011 09:52

I completely agree with Tee2072.
I grew up having to watch out for my little brother all the sodding time. I could have thought of others and shared till the cows come home and it simply wouldn't have been enough.
[scarred]
Give her a break and a bit of one-to-one attention regularly and let her - very occasionally - be justifiably selfish. If you made an easter egg hunt and it was open to a 7 yr old, of course she was going to rush round excitedly getting the eggs. SHe's 7.

HappyMummyOfOne · 25/04/2011 17:08

Its very hard to be the oldest and having to watch younger siblings, being told to slow down for them, let them win etc.

She's still young herself, too young to miss out on doing things her way because of younger siblings.

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 25/04/2011 19:06

I planned one for my 6 and 3 year old and I foresaw that the 6 year old would grab all the eggs....so I put them in 2s.....she would find 2 and hand one to her 3 year old sister...the little one was lucky enough to find one set on her own and she was happy with that.

exoticfruits · 25/04/2011 19:22

I agree-she was too young not to be excited.

Original poster

emkana · 25/04/2011 20:45

Just to clarify a few things: she is in the middle. I know it's hard to have a younger sibling and I give her one to one and extra favours all the time. In the egg hunt I had put out three of ebpverything, but she just took all of them when she found them. When I pointed out to her (calmly) that that wasn't the idea she had a mega-strop and that's when I got really cross and upset. Sorry to be revealing bybstealth!

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Hassled · 25/04/2011 20:48

I think it's probably upset you disproportionately because you put so much time and effort into the whole thing - there was more to ruin, IYSWIM. And the excitement and build up probably made her over-react as well. I think you both need to just move on from it - there will be other egg hunts.

lilolilmanchester · 25/04/2011 20:51

First of all ... you sound like a lovely, lovely Mum. The crap bit is that the cute little darlings grow up an develop their own interests............ take some credit for their independence but realise that it comes back to smack you in the face. Am going through same thing at the moment and it's very hard. But it only hurts because you care x

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 25/04/2011 21:00

I'm sorry the treat was spoilt :(

I think the thing is that you have to try to plan for their different ages and personalities. It's hard to say what you can do specifically but for example in this case if it was about finding the eggs you could have given them differetn colours to find, make the youngest ones easiest and hers harder... (and whatever for your eldest) or if it was about who would get to keep/eat them then say they were all going in one basket and you'd all share them later.

It's just a balancing act of letting her be a 7 year old, whild not spoiling things for the others.

... and yes, she can (and must) be taught to share & think of the others - but not all the time, about everything x

MCos · 25/04/2011 23:15

My 9 yr old got a little huffy because her 7 yr old sister was faster at finding and picking up the eggs.. But stopped short of a strop.

Op - I have felt like you on occasion. But if you get visibly upset or angry it makes it even worst for the others. I've learned not to get upset/disappointed, but to remove the child who is spoiling it. I'd have told her that if she doesn't calm down by time I count to 10, that she needs to go inside/to her room,etc. Normally works for me anyway.

bananaflip · 26/04/2011 01:22

We got around this by allowing the youngest a slight head start. Then everyone kept what they found. Otherwise what's the motivation?

cory · 26/04/2011 08:52

I always ration the egg hunt: everybody is allowed to find three eggs and then they have to stop. Goalposts need to be clearly set out in advance in this family; otherwise, dh would never stand a chance.

But yes, it is frustrating when they choose to display their most annoying traits at a special time, I feel your pain.

Horopu · 26/04/2011 08:56

This year we put all our eggs in a pinata and wacked it with a stick until they exploed everywhere, it was great. Our 4 year old had a minor strop when he would not share his bat with others but 5 mins indoors calmed him down. [busmile]

SkinittingFluffyBunnyBonnets · 26/04/2011 09:05

Didn't they all get smashed Horopu?

Horopu · 26/04/2011 09:08

No, only one did, we put a sheet down so they didn't get wet (it had been raining). We even had a little wicker basket to collect them in. It was fab.

Horopu · 26/04/2011 09:09

It was a green dinosaur so not very Easter, but dinosaurs did lay eggs so that is Ok isn't it?

HannahHack · 26/04/2011 09:17

As an eldest sibling myself I find this very wierd.

You have set them a challenge and then you expect them to not rise to it.
Is this about letting the youngest one win, or about making sure the younger one loses?

But then again, I am an eldest sibling myself and I am still cross about playing board games where my younger siblings where my mum gave them extra points so they could "catch up with me".

Original poster

emkana · 26/04/2011 09:51

Nobody was asking her not to be the fastest at finding the eggs. I just wanted her to realize that whenever there was a sort that she already had one of, she should leave the others of the same sort, becasue there were three of everything. I don't think that's unfair.

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