I am doing controlled crying atm

[Cosmo74]

On the advice from my HV and for my own sanity - I put Eimear in her cot for her morning sleep and so far have done the 2 mins and 5 mins am now on the 10 mins and needed something to take my mind off the crying - it is breaking my heart but my HV said I need to do it - she thinks I have slight PND and has adviced that I try and get Eimear into some sort of routine or just even going to sleep by herself to see if this helps with how I am feeling - she is coming to see me next week to discuss if I need to see the doctor.

Anyone else done the controlled crying and how did it go?

OMG she is really screaming now may have to take a walk outside to kill another minute.

How old is your dd??

If she is really screaming, I would say you need to go to her.

How the hell is listening to your child crying going to help with pnd??

How old is she? Have you tried the old pick up put down?

this is tought. very very tough and they scream the house down.

i'm sure it'll work for you but don't listen the age old crap "it works for every child"... it DOES NOT work for every child and it screwed up ds's sleeping no end (you don't want to hear that though).. BUT.. i think it does work 95% of the time and is used by alot of folks.

Give in and done a 7 mins and as soon as I went in she stopped and when I went out she started again. I know noone is probably reading this but it helps me to type it her - my HV told me to keep busy while I am doing it so this is what is helping me but it is heartbreaking and I have to keep telling myself it is for her own good and for my good too.
She keeps stopping and starting again - hopefully this is good

I did it when DS was 16 months old. He was terrible before then, had to be rocked off to sleep then sneaked into cot - it was taking hours on a night, sometimes up to 3 hours!

He was a real screamer and I was convinced it would never work with him, I tried it when he was younger (just once) and he cried so hard his nose bled.

BUT when he was 16 months I tried again. The first night it took about a hour, second night 30 minutes and by the end of the week (i.e. 7 nights) he was going down on his own with no tears.

Once that was established, I did it at nap time too and that worked within 4 days.

I think it will help you, if it works with Eimear, as you will have some time to yourself at SET times so you know what you are doing.

I don't think it would have worked earlier with my ds, but I'm so glad I did it now.

Big hugs to you, I really hope it works for you, I know how hard it is listening to them cry, but as long as you are checking on her regularly (as your post says you are), she's not going to come to any harm in her cot! How old is she? Keep us posted.

xxx

The controlled crying it not to help my PND - Eimear is a very demanding baby is she is not feeding or sleeping - which she doesn;t do much off she is crying and will only be quiet if you carry her about and even at that she still sometimes cries - she is crying - she still doesn't feed properly which is probably why she is not sleeping so much - she is 14 weeks this Sunday and is still only taking between 3 and 5 ozs each feed and is still feeding twice a night - I feel like a prisioner as I cannot take her anywhere cause she even cries in the pram - the only way we have been able to get her to sleep is on her tummy across my knee and then when you try to put her down she starts crying again. She doesn't sleep very well in her cot and has ended up in bed with me a few times - better go check now

SHe is asleep now, but she has kicked her blanket off - should I put it back on her I am afraid to waken her agian and we will have to start over!!!

Oh poor you, sounds like you're having a bad time. My DD (now aged 6) would only go to sleep on her tummy, across my knee, and I was told it was colic - has your HV mentioned this?

I really feel for you, it's so hard at that age .

DON'T PUT THE BLANKET ON HER!!!! IF SHE'S ASLEEP LEAVE HER!!

If it gets a bit nippy, stick the heating on!

14 weeks

I thought CC wasn't supposed to be used until baby is 6 months or older???

My ds is now 11 so may be a long time ago but we did cc at 13 months and it worked in 4 days It was great

mamaG - she was very colicky when she was younger but we got a 'cure' for it - think it is an Irish thing and it worked but I think because she had colic and we had to carry her about that she got use to it - a friend's baby had colic too and she tried the cure and it worked with her son too.

She is alseep now so that wasn't too bad but I don't expect it to be that short all the time - she was really tired this morning as she didn't sleep much last night - will see how it goes this afternoon and tonight!!hope it is as quick

i agree that cc should not be done on a baby less than 6 months old at least

imo your hv is wrong to suggest this. sorry.

is she colicky? there are lots of things you could try for colic.

have you tried putting her down on her side instead of her back? with rolled up blankets either side to make her feel secure. have you tried a grobag?

at this age sometimes you just have to let them cuddle into you, and when they are sleeping put them down. if baby will only sleep next to you then try wearing a sling, then at least you can get on with stuff.

im afraid at this age all they want is mummy

good luck xx

Cosmo - she is still very young to be in any sort of routine IMO. Don't mean to be critical but I am surprised the HV recommended CC as it is not generally thought to be of any help until babies are at least 6 months.

Having said this, I did it with DD1 when she was 5.5 mths and she has been a fantastic sleeper ever since (she's 7yrs old now!).

I also think that feeding twice a night is normal at this age. My DD2 (7.5mths) only dropped her 2am feed about a month ago and now wakes at 5am for a feed before going back to sleep again.

I think it is important to try to get your dd to go to sleep on her own but think CC may be unproductive at this age?

I have a very good book - The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley - if you would like to borrow it, CAT me and I will send it to you.

Soapbox - I did mention the 6 month rule to mu HV but she said that you can do it at 3 months and over and it should work quicker - also spoke to a friend who is a GP and he recommended it too he has 5 kids and did it with all then when they were really young - I know some people do not agree with it but if it help me and Eimear i will give it a shot

My dd is nearly 16 weeks and I have tried the cc and pupd but she wont have it, she was going down by herself but then had a virus and its thrown her all out of sync, but the way I look at it is she is still very young and if she wants me to cuddle her then I will there is still plenty of time for you to get her into a routine when she is a litlle older and understands a little more. Make the most of her wanting cuddles now because it wont last forever

DOn't be too hard on yourself. I know it seems like everyone else's babies sleep thru' from very young but honestly most don't. My ds2 is 6 months and has just started going thru for 12 hours. At 14 weeks I too was up twice and I think this is normal. This doesn't make the lack of sleep any easier but you are not alone and you will get there. Don't do cc unless you feel confident with it. It can work (worked on ds1 at 6 months in just 3 days) but only if it is the right time for you and your baby. Hang in there!

14 weeks??????????

Do what you feel is right to you people can only give you their advice but its up to you what you do. Stay calm and relaxed any baby will hopefully stay calm and relaxed too. Good Luck

cosmo, that book bonym recommends is very good. you should give her a CAT!

Cosmo, my ds is 7mths and still wakes in the night for feeds. Yours is young to be sleeping through yet so don't worry that she should, but obviously for your sanity you want her to! Bear in mind that it might not happen for a while yet though, and if it doesn't, you need to just accept that this is your life for a short period of time and find other ways of making things easier for yourself. I was always desperate for routine but it never worked for us so I find it much less stressful these days to go with the flow. I coped with tiredness during the day by feeding ds to sleep on my bed and having a nap together.

If CC works for you, great, but I know I couldn't do it, and I would say if at any time you feel it isn't working or it goes against your instinct to let her cry, then just pick her up!

I know you want things to be different, I know exactly how it feels when you can't do anything because baby wants to be carried all day, but that is what they are like, it's normal!

It worries me that your HV says you need to do CC. You don't need to do anything. My HV is generally very good but I needed a lot of reassurance in the early days (still do actually) and I must admit I took her word as law to begin with. It is only recently that I have realised that actually she doesn't always have the most up to date information about things; so while I still really value her advice, I don't worry anymore if we don't fit in with everything she expects.

Good luck with it all

IME, anything that most HVs tell you should be taken with a pinch of salt.

Mine told me that the WHO guidelines on not starting solids 'til 6mths were wrong! Needless to say I ignored her advise to start solids at 4mths. .

Hi Cosmo,

My DS is 8mths and still wakes 1-2 a night for a feed. We started a version of CC on Tuesday, we put DS in his cot and talk soothingly to him and rub/pat his back till he falls asleep. He's gone from crying/hyperventilating (tuesday) to going down in 2mins (tonight) with no rubbing or patting. Maybe this will be easier on your DD as I also think CC should be done when baby is 6mths or older. Either way our version worked for us and I hope you find one for you. Have you got a sling you can carry DD round in? Ours was a lifesaver with DS.

Sorry but I think 14 weeks is far too young. Is she teething? It's very hard for them if they are. I know it's exhausting but you need to let her find her own routine which would be staring any time now anyway. If you have PND I'd recommend taking antidepressants to rebalance your brain chemistry - that's what I did and it helped me get over the hump and I'm not a raving looney because of it. I agree listening to your baby cry is not going to help with PND, the stress and it will cause you both will just cause you more problems.

I've tried it a couple of times but only when ds was almost a year and it was obvious it really didn't suit him so we stopped.

Remember we've all been there and it does eventually change, but I don't think it's ever easy IYSWIM. The first 6 months are really tough but it's a crucial time for you both to bond. I really can't believe a HV would suggest this.