Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

What can I do when 6-week old cries in the cot

25 replies

Paula30CWR · 21/04/2011 18:18

My baby boy is just 6 weeks old but it seems to me he likes being held all the time. I don't like seeing cry or moan when he doesn't see me because I'm doing something and I have put him in the cot, bouncer or cat seat, so I pick him up and give him loads of cuddles. He is truly funny when he moans but it builds up to the point he cries. Am I spoiling him? He's just 6 weeks old but probably I am...

Mum tells me if I continue to pick him up he will get used to and when he is put in the cot, he will cry...which he does, unless he is knackered. The thing is that he is starting to be more awake and unless I put him in the cot (with wonderful mobile), bouncer or cat seat, I can't do anything...
And I'm not the only one, my husband gets trapped as well when he gets back from work.

What do you think?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Justalittleblackraincloud · 21/04/2011 19:31

No such thing as a spoilt baby in my book. IMO, you're doing exactly the right thing by cuddling your little baby as much as you both like.

At 6 weeks, he doesn't even know he's a seperate person yet...let alone that you'll come back if you leave him.

I know it's my answer to everything, but have you got a decent sling? Tis the best way to offer your babe the comfort he desires and be able to actually do stuff.

DD lived in our Moby wrap at that age, all her sleeps were in that. And when DH got in from work, he'd change, put her in the sling, walk round the block and there she'd stay until bedtime

nethunsreject · 21/04/2011 19:37

I agree that you are doing the right thing.

Comfort him - he is still getting used tot he world and you will not 'spoil' the wee soul. This is perfectly normal newborn behavior.

I have a Moby which was a life saver. Also, the electronic swings are good if you need some hands free time. And if you can, let others walk him/cuddle him. And put your feet up. He will soon be running around getting into things and you'll long to be trapped on the sofa.

whomovedmychocolate · 21/04/2011 19:39

He's a baby. Cuddle him. Stop worrying. You will never hurt our child by holding him and cuddling him. But the opposite may well do so. He may also have colic. Don't worry, this bit is hard but it passes. It may help you to know that at six weeks babies screaming reaches it's peak - some literally cry all the time for no reason and it's frustrating and horrible for you but if you comfort them and tend to their needs they get through it fairly quickly.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Paschaelina · 21/04/2011 19:40

You can't spoil a newborn baby. Every cuddle you give him at this age will make him feel more secure and happy.

Don't miss a single one, you only get this time with them once.

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs · 21/04/2011 19:43

I don't think babies need to be attached to you 24/7 - I think it's good for them to sleep in their cots etc but there is no way I'd leave a 6 week old baby to cry and if they wanted to be cuddled/carried - I'd cuddle and carry!

Slings are brilliant, but I'd also keep putting him in his cot etc but picking him up when he moans a lot, just before he cries.

I know other people think they should be attached 24/7 and that's their choice too - so long as everyone is happy, who cares ?!

(Now is a good time to start practising, 'Yes Mum, that's interesting, but I like doing it this way :) '. )

CelebratedMonkey · 21/04/2011 19:58

You're not being 'trapped', your baby's just being a baby!

At six weeks there isn't much they enjoy doing aside from being held and perhaps sleeping/going in the bouncer. Most awake babies will get a bit fed up alone in a cot. My DS couldn't be left alone in his crib, but would tolerate it a bit in his moses basket as it had coloured sides he liked staring at.

As your baby gets a bit older there will be more awake time where he can lie on a mat or whatever (and sit up and play later on) and bat at toys or similar and you may be able to sit nearby rather than hold all the time. Until then, enjoy your new tiny human :)

MissBeehivingChoclitWabbits · 21/04/2011 20:09

yy - get a sling.

naturalbaby · 21/04/2011 20:09

your baby has just spent 9 months warm and cuddled up inside you - everything was perfect. now you expect him to suddenly be happy to be on his own, it will take a while for a baby to get used to not being inside you.

if you put him in the cot before he gets too tired and sit with him for a bit then he will feel more relaxed and secure and get used to it. if you want him to settle to sleep on his own then you have to get him settled in the cot before he is looking really sleepy. when they are really tired then they find it hard to relax and go to sleep. when baby starts to moan then get him in the cot - he can be awake for around 1 1/2hrs, 2hrs at the very most at this age.

AngelDog · 21/04/2011 20:46

Yes, get a sling and cuddle him as much as you can. You really can't spoil a baby this age.

What naturalbaby says about time awake is really helpful too - wish I'd known it at 6 weeks.

nometime · 21/04/2011 20:51

Cuddles all the way, but not just from you! Make sure Dad, grandma etc get their share and you can do those things that need two hands!

WoTmania · 21/04/2011 20:58

Heaven forbid he 'get used to' being picked up and comforted you'd be making a rod for you own back there....

6 weeks ago your baby was in the womb getting a constant cuddle. He didn't have to worry about hunger, temperature he didn't have gravity affecting him and now he's in the big wide world and just needs a little cuddling. In all seriousness, there is nothing wrong with cuddling your baby. In 5 years time he be wriggling away from you to go off and do something more interesting if you so much as put your arm arouind him.

Enjoy this time for the very short while it lasts.

Sorry if the beginning sounded tetchy. But this is one of my bugbears - not giving them affection because they might get used to it. Gah!

pregnantpause · 21/04/2011 21:00

my dd was the same- i posted here when she was 7wo asking the same thing. i listened and cuddled her to sleep and held her almost continuosly until she was 9 wo. then she chilled out a bit and now at 14wo she sleeps alone in her cot with no cuddles or cries. it just came with time. congratulations btw!

Nightsdrawingin · 21/04/2011 21:32

I agonised about this, had read the babywhispeer which said babies must sleep in their cots, thought I'd be encouraging bad habits etc - then one day the constant shush-pat just got too much and I put him in a sling, we never looked back, all his sleeps were in the sling (including in the evening) until he was about 8 months! Now he's 2.9 and goes to sleep fine in a bed, it wasn't a problem to transfer as he got older. No sign of him being spoilt and I don't regret a single sling sleep. No.2 is coming now and I'm planning sling sleeps from the word go, makes life much more interesting if you can go out when they are napping without having to wait for them to wake up.

quickchat · 22/04/2011 11:46

Haven't read other posts. Paula don't listen to your mum. I did with my boy and I let him 'cry it out' not realising he cried so much because he had reflux .

I had my mum, gran, in-laws etc telling me I was spoiling him too which is just such nonsense. Having no experience of having kids you tend to listen to your mum but they tend to still have a Victorian edge to them .

Anyway, with my DD (now 16 months) I just held her, used a sling, slept with her and she also had reflux and needed ALOT of holding (most babies do anyway).

The result - My DS was inconsolable if he was woken up or was tierd and he was not/is not easily and quickly comforted.
Id have to go home if he wouldn't sleep in the buggy as he just couldn't be cuddled or calmed. He gets quite hysterical. He is soon to be 4 . Although he doesn't nap now, if he wakes in the night after a bad dream or has a bad fall, he just flips out and doesn't even want me to cuddle him immedietely.

My DD NEVER wakes crying. Even if she is woken out of a deep sleep during the day, she gets over it with a quick hug and is quickly smiling again.

Don't think by carrying him and picking him up and cuddling him you are 'spoiling' him, there is no such thing when it comes to affection and comforting. It will actually make your life easier in the long run if he is secure and feels safe and loved whenever he gets upset. Especially at 6 weeks, he needs that.

cherub59 · 22/04/2011 23:01

OP I agree with the other posters! You can't spoil a 6 week old! My ds3 turned 6 weeks yesterday and after the first 2 nights I have co sleptbwith him at night and he sleeps in a sling during the day (kind of necessary as I have ds1 whom is 3.5 and ds2,who I'd 2.1). Did similar with ds2 who got a lot less clingy by 3 months.
Can recommend the "close" baby carrier which i spend a lot of time wearing! Electric swing worked well with ds2 but ds3 will go in it for 2 mins tops!
Enjoy your little one!

ll31 · 23/04/2011 02:07

lift him up and cuddle him - he's only 6 weeks - he needs it.... ignore people telling you what they think you should do - including me. he's your baby, trust yourself and do what you feel is right

SuchProspects · 23/04/2011 07:52

I don't think you are spoiling him by picking him up. But I suspect he will learn to settle quicker if you sometimes leave him to his own devices, especially as he gets older.

I have twins and the first day I was with them completely on my own I found I couldn't keep up with the cuddling they seemed to be demanding. I ended up concentrating on trying to settle one - but the other one settled herself before I had finished settling the first. It was a bit of a revelation to me that I wasn't the centre of their universe to the extent I had thought!

All I'm saying is don't feel trapped by either your mother's advice or the current pressure on parents to make life "perfect" for their children. You aren't spoiling your kids by giving them affection and you aren't ruining them if you let them cry sometimes.

Also, slings are great, very much recommend them.

Prunnhilda · 23/04/2011 08:11

There's a theory that babies are born about 3 months 'too young' compared to other animals (to do with human head size I think, glamorous eh?). Babies at this age really are just 'postnatal foetuses' and need the sort of care that you passively gave in the womb: lots of holding, lots of small feeds. That's why slings work so well.

It's hard work but truly, at 12 or 14 weeks, he'll start to 'wake up' and be able to grasp things and really react to your face and voice and the mobile and believe me, you won't regret any of those cuddles Big adjustment from the physical freedom you've had all your life but it honestly gets better.

BoffinMum · 23/04/2011 08:29

Make the most of it. When they're teenagers they get all funny about you picking them up, holding them to your bosom, and patting their little botties affectionately. Can't think why. I do miss being able to pepper their little foreheads with kisses as well, but I find the acne does get in the way these days.

Highlander · 23/04/2011 16:18

FFS, he needs you.

Buy a sling and get on with your life.

megapixels · 23/04/2011 16:24

I'm guessing this is your first if you're asking this! Six weeks is tiny, listen to your instinct, it's telling you to pick up your baby so keep doing that. :)

colditz · 23/04/2011 16:29

Haven't read posts, just OP - pick him up and cuddle him. thise weeks will be gone, gone gone soon. You never get them back. He's tiny. He needs you. Pick him up.

waitinggirl · 24/04/2011 20:44

OP, there are a few things the older generation tend to believe about babies: picking them up is "spoiling" them, every cry is wind, they should be fed every 4 hours. It is hard to realise these are generational beliefs and not always true. Especially when it is your first baby. We are 8 weeks into dd2 and I now feel more confident to do things my way. Take the advice, but treat it all with a pinch of salt. Quite frankly, I wd recommend doing whatever it takes to soothe your baby for the first few months. And it does pass quickly, really it does, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. Good luck!

Original poster

Paula30CWR · 24/04/2011 21:58

Thank you all for your piece of advice. I thought about it and you were right.
We give him lots of cuddles and love so he's a 'repleat' baby!

OP posts:

gkys · 24/04/2011 22:06

PAula30cwr,my mom told me that you can't spoil a child by loving it too much, if your dc is crying he wants something, and wether its a cuddle or a feed its important, enjoy ur dc and follow your instincts, my 7month old only sleeps at the moment if hes in is baba sling (thirty five pound john lewis, worth evey last penny) or in my arms, will have biceps to rival jo calzagie at this rate, i think it follows a pattern, they seem to be clingy before an independant spurt enjoy your bundlexx

Flip