How much 'encouragement' do you give your children?

[Pinkx3]

When it comes to activities, sports etc do you think it's ever right to force strongly encourage your child to attend/join in?

The reason I'm asking is because I'm currently facing this dilemma with my own DD and I don't know if I'm being a horrible mum (which I feel like!) or if I'm being a 'supportive/encouraging' parent. Basically what has happened is my daughter has been doing a sports class for 2 years, she (normally) really enjoys it and is quite good at it (has won a couple of medals in competition) but now her teacher has decided to move her up a class and she had a complete melt down about it and didn't want to go to the class last night. I forced strongly encouraged her to go but she would not calm down and would not join in even after talking to her teacher. I finally gave up and brought her home but she has now told me that she wants to go back next week!! I'm worried that we'll go through the same process next week but at the same time I don't want to let her just give up on something that she does actually enjoy (usually) and is quite good at.

Sorry if this is a bit long but just interested in what others think.

She might be a bit afraid of the change involved in moving classes. If she is moving up a class presumably she was one of the better ones of the class she was in, and she might be afraid she will be one of the less good ones in the upper class.

If it was my child I would also speak to her about her behaviour before going next week. If my DCs didn't calm down in the class I would be annoyed at their behaviour. I wouldn't let them off it.

Thanks for the replies.

I think you are right Journey, she is quite a bright child and has so far found most things in life to be easy so I think there is a bit of fear about things getting more difficult. This is why I sometimes feel like I need to push her a bit because otherwise she will miss out on many things and may regret it in future. I speak from experience here because my mum was the most laid back parent and never pushed me into anything and I now wish that she had forced encouraged me a bit more.

I was very annoyed with her behaviour and sent her straight to bed when we got home (it was bedtime though so not really a punishment as such) but I worry that I am too hard on her sometimes. She has always been quite advanced for her age and I think sometimes when she 'acts her age' (she is 7 btw) I overreact because I expect more from her. We did have a chat about it this morning and she still can't really explain why she behaved the way she did but she assures me that she still wants to go to class and she will go next week so I guess all I can really do is try again and hope for the best.

Pink - you sound just like me! I am convinced that if my parents had pushed me a little more that I would have been Sally Gunnell winning Olympic gold all those years ago! Ditto DH and rugby-types I can't recall, so it does hurt us when our sons do not desperatley want to succeed in sports - whilst quite competitive, the passion to do 'stuff' just isn't there like we so want it to be. In fact, yesterday, one of them told a TA in the class that he didn't want to go to gymnastics 'because it's rubbish' but proceeded to go, happily, at 5pm that night??!! We have had to take foot off gas, unwillingly, but realise they will eventually just chose what they want to do - you have to be sooo focussed in sports to get anywhere, and I just think back to all those cold, wet nights and parents forcing me to the track. When I got to about 14, I stopped, sulked and caused an atmosphere (apparently!) I so feel your pain, but it's not worth it!!!