Do you like being a full time Mum?

[bepi01]

I've worked since my DD was 9mths and my contract is due to end in October. My DD is now 2.3. I think I'd really like to take time some time out to bring up my DD before she goes to school and I don't have the option anymore however I'm scared. Scared that we will be poor (my DH brings in an ok wage but we would need to watch every penny), scared it will drive me up the wall and (and this is a biggie) scared that no one will take me back into the work place if I take any time out.

What do you like about being a full-time Mum? Any tips to stay sane and rewarded?

I workd since I was at skl always, even up until I was 8 months pregnant, I retuurned to my position 3.5 days a week at work and one whole home working day when I returned after 3 months, it killed me leaving my daughter but we'd hav lost everything if I didn't, being a young single mum; people expecct you to take your new flat and a giro and that's abt it, yet I was also criticised for working so much, it's a horrible situation! But sometimes u gotta do the best for ur kids regardless of what anyone else thinksb

agree with TurtlesAreRetroRight - am SAHM for now and never happier. wil extend my mat leave as long as poss!

I love being a SAHM, I hope to stay at home as long as I can. I can't say I really miss the workplace at all.

I think to cope well as a SAHM you have to have a strong sense of your own worth, if you get your self esteem from your career you can struggle once you leave that behind.

My top tip for not going crazy is to make sure you have a little time in the week doing what you want to do. At first I felt guilty to do anything that wasn't for the children, but I realise now that I need it. For me its the occasional mooch around the shops, the kids don't really enjoy it because they are stuck in the buggy, but if I have done soccer tots, toddler groups, sing and dance, colouring, playdoh, park trips and so on for the rest of the week then a Friday afternoon wandering around the shops is hardly being selfish.

I don't think the OP meant any offence with her terminology. That aside, on the whole I enjoy being a stay at home mum. My son is 3 and I'm about to put him into nursery for two half days. I opted for private so I could do this. Did not want him to go 5 days a week as I like spending time with him, and he'll be at school full time in two years. It's not all fun, and we do have our rough patches. You really get to know your town and your area in terms of the facilities and activities available through the day. It gets a bit intense though, being with them for so much time. Keeping a nursery session or two going so you can get some time to yourself might be an option to consider.

Yes, while language and word choice is important, the OP clearly didn't mean to offend with her use of the FTM phrase so I wish people had stated politely that they preferred SAHM, rather than jumping down her throat. I am making a thing of pointing out unnecessary aggression on here at the moment

I can't really comment as I am a WOHM myself but wanted to echo the suggestions about voluntary work or even freelance work, if you can do that, to keep your hand in re the job market. For most people I would advise starting out with a 'career break ' if your employer allows it, so you keep the option to go back, but doesn't sound like that is on offer as you are reaching the end of a contract. Hope it all works out.

Hi,
Full-time mum, SAHM, either way, I simply cannot wait to 'go back to work'. I love my son to pieces but wow, I can't see myself staying at home for a long time. May seem selfish to some but not for me.

I had him in my second year of university (dropped out and starting new course January) and cannot wait to get back into it. I wasn't a 'party hard' girl at university either, so it's definitely not the lifestyle that I miss, because to be quite frank, I spent most of my time in the library or with my partner (in the library).

I just want financial independence instead of depending on my partner/family, and of course going back to work will help me with that. Plus my son will be miled and miles better off if I did so. I'm not materialistic but nothing in life is free, and I want the very best for my son.

Honestly? I can't bear being a SAHM. DS is only 6 months and I find it very hard being by myself with him all day. Time passes sooo slowly, and I didn't realise how much I'd miss my old life. I'm going to hate leaving DS when I get to 1 year but I think I'll also be secretly very relieved to go back to work. I find the whole thing very lonely tbh, although my own fault for not going to any baby groups.

I'm the opposite, I went to every baby group possible, love them or hate them they are a really good way to meet people, and most are there because they feel the same way. I'm on maternity leave with DD2 at the moment but stayed at home with dd1 and ds until they went to school. Mother and toddler groups, swimming, park visits, feeding the ducks, and later on, pre-school, library visits, soft play became my life for 4 years or so and I absolutely loved it.
If you have a Sure Start Children's Centre near you they have lots of activities for children under 5 and many of them are free.

Some days are good some days are not so good, but I think while I have the choice I prefer to be a SAHM. When dd is a bit older then I think I might like to try to better myself with a college course. Not saying there's anything wrong with being a stay SAHM, I feel on a personal level if I want to increase my chances of ever getting a job again I might need to get a few more bows to my ribbon as it were.

Am I the only person who kind of objects to being referred to as a SAHM? It makes me sound like I am agrophobic and have no interests / life / personality outside my children. Just saying I find it as offensive as WOHM seem to find the term FTM. I am only happy at home with the DC when I make sure I do things to maintain my identity as a person. and as they say happy parents make for happier children.

Anyway, what I really wanted to say was I think a lot depends on whether you are planning more DC both in terms of finances and time commitment to being out of the work place. I would find it very hard to go back to my old profession now and a non professional job would not pay me enough to cover the costs of working and childcare. However given the current job market now may not be a bad time for a career break if you can find a way to keep your hand in - perhaps freelance, voluntary work, part-time, agreed sabbatical from your employer, further study.

Hi OP

I'm an HR manager too, it can be a bit full on can't it?! I have to say I had 14 months off work with DS and I did not really enjoy being a SAHM. I found it quite dull TBH so found a 3 day a week job instead. It's perfect! Adult company and interesting work 3 days a week and 4 days to spend with my son and partner. I really recommend it! It might also be a good way for you to try out being a SAHM without losing a foothold in the job market

BTW most of my friends who have taken a few years out to raise children are now really struggling to find work.

I would echo the idea of part-time work as the way forward. Even if then your household income isn't much better (ie part time wages but also part time childcare costs) you get some adult time, continue to have a career profile, but also some time with your DD. Also the career break route avoids burning bridges straight away if you find that SAHMing is not for you.

howabout Valid point, and one to be noted by posters jumping down someone's throat for using the term FTM. There is no blanket consensus on terminology like this. SAHM has arisen because 'housewife' (which would once have described this occupation whether or not it included looking after children) has been discarded, but that's not to say it's liked by everyone as you point out.