TTC no2 but frightened of not being able to cope...advice please :)

[Poppyjen]

Sorry to start a thread about something I am sure has been asked about thousands of times but here goes...

DS is now 1 and although we have age on our side (I am 29) I have PCOS and just have a feeling I ought to get on with it Add to that DH and I are lucky enough for me to be able to stay at home and I am starting to think to myself that I really would like to have DC2 and we are cycle 2 of TTC.

Here's the thing....

I have just got to the stage where I feel myself again, we actually a much happier version of myself, and our lives are really great at the moment. We've moved out of the city and we now live in such a beautiful place. I have lovely supportive friends (which helps as my family is overseas) and DS is just so happy and so contented he is a joy to be around.

I know we are soooo lucky But I am PETRIFIED of not being able to maintain our lovely life and keep DS being the happy little chap he is by not being able to cope with DC2. I know that I would adore DC2 just as much as DS, that's not my issue, I just hope that I will be able to be as good a mother (and wife!) as I feel I can be with DS when there are two little ones. DH works very long hours so I won't really see him until 9pm or so during the week and he leaves at around 6.30/7 in the morning. This means that it will all be down to me

I would really appreciate any advice from anyone out there who has been through the hard work and come out the other side still feeling positive about the whole experience Thanks in advance!

Well I have a larger age gap- ds is 3.5yrs older than dd. Dd is 7 months nearly. It has been HARD at times but in other ways much easier than last time because I just had to have dd fit in with us, there was no option. Seeing ds and dd interact is worth every moment of stress and tiredness they absolutely adore each other and dd is so totally different from ds and its just lovely to see her develop. I wouldn't change having 2 kids for all the world but it has been hard and was more scary ime because you aren't as naieve second time round!!!

Thanks haudyerwheesht ! I guess that's what I expected, lovely to hear that having two is a positive experience for you

Anyone else got any home truths comforting words for me?

Anyone else got happy DC2 stories to tell?

Did it take you a long time to conceive DS? I was in exactly your situation 2 years ago - Age 29 with a 1 year old and contemplating DC2! I have PCOS and it took 2 years of heartache and 5 cycles of clomid to conceive DD1. We started trying for no.2 when DD1 was 15 months as I expected it to take just as long and also the GP had told me we would need to try naturally for a year before I could have clomid again. The good thing was as I wasn't that desperate for DC2 yet, I didn't get so stressed about TTC. But imagine our surprise when I conceived naturally in the 2nd month of trying!

Our 2 girls are now 3 and 10 months. It is hard work having a toddler and a newborn, and I don't think any age gap is ideal, but if I'm honest I think it would have been easier to cope if DD1 had been closer to 3 when DD2 was born. It was tough having 2 in nappies, even tougher trying to potty train while still breastfeeding a 3 month old! But on the plus side they are very close and love playing with each other, they can play with the same toys to a certain extent, and I hope being so close in age means that they will grow up being good friends.

My DH also works long hours but I think you always find ways to cope and 2nd time round at least you know that the newborn stage is very short. I had days of neverending feeding DD2 while DD1 did nothing but watch Cbeebies, trying to bath DD1 while breastfeeding DD2 one-handed, having to leave DD2 crying in her cot while I put DD1 to bed... But there are lots of good things too, we all love DD2 dearly and wouldn't be without her. And now it is much easier to cope with both of them together and we have lots of fun .

Think about childcare - is there a local preschool you could put DS in when DC2 is born, or could you pay for nursery for a day or 2 each week? DD1 started preschool 2 mornings a week when DD2 was 3 months and that really saved my sanity! From september she will go 2.5 days a week, and I am really looking forward to quality time with DD2.

My honest advice would be to enjoy DS and don't worry too much about rushing to have DC2 just because you have PCOS - you are only 29 so you have time on your side!