Fathers - a poem

[Tom]

I ran an international conference on fathers in Oxford earlier this year - experts from all continents came - an amazing week. A poem has emerged out of it - hope you like it/it provokes some thoughts:

Some Children?s Fathers

Some children have fathers who live far away and send money or clothing
Some children have fathers who live nearby and visit regularly
Other children have fathers who raise them alone
Others have fathers who share home and caring duties with their mother
Others have fathers who look after them all the time,
So their mothers can work

Some children have fathers they stay with at weekends and in the holidays
Others have fathers who are in jail
Some children have fathers who live at home, but are rarely there
Others have foster fathers or step fathers

Some children have fathers who are too poor to provide for them
Some have an uncle or grandfather who fathers them
Some children have a father who is a child himself
And some children have no father figure

There are fathers who read bedtime stories to their children
And there are fathers who cannot read
There are fathers who love and care for their children
And there are fathers who neglect and abuse their children

Some fathers attend the birth and every milestone in their children's lives
Others have never even met their teacher
Some fathers are ill, some commit crimes and some beat their children's mothers
Others work long hours in hard jobs to provide for their children

Some are confident in their parenting role and take great pride in it
And others are frightened of these responsibilities
Some fathers run away from their children
Others, desperate to see them, are prevented from doing so

Fatherhood is different in so many ways for so many children
But one thing is universal
What fathers do ... MATTERS TO CHILDREN

www.fatherworld.org

Lovely poem Tom!

But if someone asked me the all important question:

Daddy or chips?

Chips win hands down everytime.

Seriously though, that is a great thought provoking and imformative poem.

Ahhh, thanks for sharing that poem Tom.

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Go on dadslib - steam in there and really say what you think!

Poems don't have to rhyme - haven't you heard?
And it may be stating the obvious, but its a field where the obvious needs stating, because so many people have perceptions of fathers that are based on narrow experiences - this poem is about opening up the diversity of experiences of children.

The conference is writing a report which is being presented to the UN General Assembly for the 10th anniversary of the International Year of the Family. It had the leading researchers in the world and some of the pioneers of work to engage fathers in reproductive health, domestic violence, child protection, child development, health and education services. From all over the world.

The Chief Executive of UNICEF worldwide was represented at an expert panel presentation, and we are developing an international network of practitioners, researchers and policy analysts to disseminate technical knowledge about developing strategies to improve father involvement in children's welfare within different cultural, social and economic contexts. We are working with organisations like UNICEF, UNESCO, WORLD BANK etc to encourage them to develop strategic approaches to this from a gender equality and child development perspective.

If you think it's 'just a do-gooder' conference, then so be it. I'm just getting on with the work, and it matters not a jot what you think - I'm more concerned with what the people who implement global programmes on child health/education and gender equality think.

And you can download a report from the website (www.fatherworld.org) if you want to know more. There will be a report published in the winter, which will go to the General Assembly.

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I'd rather blame the industrial revolution which removed fathers from the home and placed the burden of childcare mostly on women - before that, men worked very close to the ground and were highly involved with their children, who were their apprentices etc etc.

The best thing to happen to fatherhood was the move of feminism to get more women sharing the breadwinning role - it's forced men and women into re-evaluating who does the childcare - and in households where women work more, dads are more involved. Involved fatherhood is, in my book at least, a positive male response to feminism, and could only have happened if feminism happened.

And no - I didn't write it - it was adapted from a presentation by a specialist in child development from the Carribean and a policy analyst from Australia.

The reason those folks are more important is because they hold alot of your money with a remit to spend it on children's health, education and protection, dealing with issues like HIV/AIDS, water and food shortages, early childhood development and education. Don't knock them - if you want to knock anyone, do it to the military industrial complex bods, who cause half the problems the UN development agencies are trying to clean up!

Very close to the home, not ground - sorry.

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Dadslib - I think you are totally out of order with your comments!!!

You seem to be going out of your way to offend Tom.

Your not voicing an opinion, you are merely insulting another poster.

A genuine apology to Tom would be the least you could do!!!

insert angry emoticon<

Tom - whether it is close to home or not you have every right to be pissed off. I still think it's a lovely poem.

Tom, I noticed when we lived in Indonesia that the men were very involved with their children. Many people still work in cottage industries or they run little shop-houses etc. Also, women can often find work more easily than men, as maids or cooks so dads look after the children. No one uses buggies and you see men toting babies and toddlers all the time; it's really nice to see.

PS Are you the Tom quoted in the new BBC parenting magazine??

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I write poetry which is considered good by people who should know, and I know what you mean about it not being a great poem, dadslib. Technically, it isn't a very good poem, but its validity lies in its sentiment, and surely at an event like this, that was the whole purpose of it?

Dadslib - I really don't think that this thread was put on here for smart-arse "constructive criticism" from you about whether the poem was a work of art or not!!! There are many poems posted on here from people who have written them themselves.... and GOD FORBID, they aren't award winning poets.

It was the sentiment that touched me and I dare say many others too. I think you've completely missed the point.

Remind me to pick up every single gramatical or spelling error you make and offer some constructive criticism to you!!!

Janstar - perhaps you worded your post with a bit more tact than I. Oops.