Nealry 5 yr old playing out

[nethunsreject]

My pfb is almost 5. We live in a very, very quiet little square, full of kids. The area is monoblocked, but obviously traffic comes in and out. It is not a thouroughfare. All the kids play on their bikes, including ones ds's age. However, both dh and I are very nervous when he is out of our sight, which is frequently! He knows not to talk to strangers and not to go into his friends' gardens without letting us know first.

The other parents here are quite relaxed, but we aren't. Are we being silly?

My four year old is playing out the front with her older sister, and at present I can't see her either! So you can guess what camp I am in.

You will get those on here who say that it is too young, but I think it is only for you to decide only you can judge how safe your situation is.

However, I do believe that a child who is given freedom and taught how to use it safely can be safer than children who don't. My DD is allowed to go to the park with friends, a few mins walk from our house. She has also been learning stranger danger at school. I have been surprised at how many of her friends do not know the basic rules for keeping themselves safe. Just the little things like what to do if someone approaches them, what to say / do, what to do if they have a problem or even to know what their telephone number is (my 4 year old knows her address and telephone number). I think relying on not letting your child out of your sight is very dangerous strategy indeed, because all it takes is for you to get distracted, and your child has not got the tools to protect themselves.

I let my children out, but they have got the tools to look after themselves. They know children go off with strangers and are never seen again. They know what to do if someone (even an adult they know) says they must go with them, and so on... I know they are able to handle themselves if they need to. If you're confident your child is able to do this, then I don't see why not.

BTW, someone posted on here the other week 10 things your children should know when playing out alone. It was a great link, if you googled it, you might find it. I think it gave some great advice.

My boys - 7 and 9 - are allowed to play out of my sight but not my 5 year old daughter. Personally I think it's too young and I know that I wouldn't feel comfortable. At 5 I know that my daughter is too immature, although reasonably sensible compared to DS2, and I just need her to be where I can see her.

I'm happy for her to play in the street, but only if I'm out there as well.

I wouldn't let my 5yr DD play out of my sight - even though shes quite good with knowing about stranger danger, knows her address etc 5 is still very little and I wouldn't feel comfortable - she is an only child, so maybe it's different if there are older siblings also playing out?

Thanks for the feedback. Still in a quandry!

I would NEVER have let my eldest play out at 5.
My youngest (who is 5) is allowed to.

Yeah, see, I reckon ds 2 will be out at that age.

I don't think it's fair on the older sibling to have the responsibility of looking out for a 5y old.
I let my 7 & 9y olds play out but only togeather & there are strict rules.

Nope, DS who is almost 6 will not be out on his own for ages yet.......

see my door is at the side & DS is only allowed out the front of our house if i'm in the front garden. otherwise it's the drive & i'm in the front doing the sheets or something (can still see him)

at mums however here's the same as yours - several kids all like to knock for each other, there they all play out the front, we leave her front door open & sit out on her step reading or something. He thinks it's fab, he has 2 set points to go between - her house and one about 6 doors up and that's his limit - he sticks between the two. other kids are prob about 6-8 ish so slightly older. (do also go to the end of her drive to check on him) helps that mum knows the other grandparents as well and has for years.

guess it depends on the child tbh - DS now knows he listens and does as he's told or he's in (happened when he didn't listen outside our house once)

i let my children out - they have the tools to look after themselves - i know they are able to handle themselves - at 4 years old !!!! FACT large person can pick up and remove a small child VERY QUICKLY - vehicle can run over a person - person cannot 'handle this themselves' against idiot driver in big tin box
how many times do we see news programmes where 'we only left them for a few minutes, they always play out together' and some poor little soul has disappeared or been run over'
IMO under 6s should be watched over by a responsible adult - above that age then each child is an individual and each parent is responsible for knowing when the reigns can be gradually slackened

I very very rarely see news programmes where 'we only left them for a few minutes, they always play out together' and some poor little soul has disappeared or been run over'. Very rarely. So rarely that when it does happen it is massive news.

Mollymole - see this is where I said "You will get those on here who say that it is too young, but I think it is only for you to decide only you can judge how safe your situation is. "

Because my Dds play out on our private shared driveway (shared between 5 houses). There are no cars / vans except the other people who live here (who know the children are out and so drive accordingly). Likewise people. Girls are in earshot all the time, if out of sight.

You cannot judge another person's situation, particularly over the internet.

have kids - look after them

"have kids - look after them"
I do. I have thought carefully about my situation, judged the situation, placed very strict boundaries for my children (DD1 allowed no further than park, DD2 allowed on shared driveway out the front), taught them the tools to look after themselves. I am very confident in the decisions I have made. To the extent that I am fully capable of making sound reasoned explanations of my decisions, rather than mere idiotic statements.