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Parenting

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Original poster

4mo won;t be calmed by dh in evenings or mornings but happy as soon as I hold her

5 replies

yellowflowers · 17/04/2011 22:05

Slight problem with dh and our 4mo dd. In the monrings he takes her downstairs so I can get soem extra rest but she screams and screams and won't let him bottle feed her (she is mix fed). It's okay if I breastfeed her when she wakes up and then give her bottle myself and then her take him downstairs.

In daytime it is fine and she lets him do whatever. Then in evening she screams and screams - doesn;t like him holding her or playing with her - or she doesn't mind if she can see me, but she doesn't like it if I'm not there, and again will only let me feed her.

We can do the same stuff eg winding her in same way or playing with her with same toys, but she is fine me doing it and not him.

Any ideas?

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Jojay · 17/04/2011 22:13

Don't fight it, would be my humble opinion.

DS1 was happy with anyone doing anything with him as a baby, Ds2 was completely different and was a mummy's boy for months and months.

DH found it really tough that DS2 wouldn't let him do anything with him as he'd been so hands on with DS1. And it wasn't just DH that DS2 wouldn't go to, no-one would do except me.

As he got older, though, it sorted itself out. it's not a problem you need to 'tackle', but it will get better.

Encourage your DH to carry on doing the things he is doing, but if she has a meltdown, take her back. She's used to your rhythms, having carried her for 9 months, so it's natural she's more comfortable with you.

Once they can be played with a bit more, and get more mobile and therefore a bit more independant, Dad's come into their own - at 4 and 2, I don't get a look in with my boys unless they are ill or tired!

But at 4 months there's nothing you can do about it, so give everyone an easy life and go with it.

Original poster

yellowflowers · 17/04/2011 22:51

I can spell btw. iPhone and clumsy hands.

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TheBreastmilksOnMe · 17/04/2011 22:57

Perfectly natural for her to prefer being with you right now. Just go with it, she will grow out of it eventually. I have an 11 week old DD and she is exactly the same. She is EBF and I think babies that are BF are closer to their mums because of it and find it harder to settle with people other than their mothers. DS was also like this and DP found it hard but he eventually grew out of it and Dp learnt that it is only for a short time. DS and DP are really close now and the early days matter very little in terms of bonding. Give her what she needs for now, it will change as she gets older.

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Iggly · 18/04/2011 07:21

In the mornings she's probably hungry and would prefer boob and in the evenings tired so again prefers boob as it gives her comfort! Can you get rest at other times eg in the day at a weekend and go to bed early in the week?

Goldrill · 18/04/2011 10:39

have a 4 month old who's very much the same - am quite relieved to read this thread as I was beginning to think it was just me, and DP was getting quite worn down by it. It seems to be getting better as the weeks go on though, and I am basically shoving them together to spend time without me at every available opportunity.

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