Finding it hard to be positive with dd, please help

[knackered76]

I am expecting my 3rd in a few weeks. I thought dd (just 6) would cope okay with it, although I did expect a few hiccups. The past couple of weeks have been slowly turning into a nightmare with me getting increasingly negative towards her and totally unsympathetic to her behaviour. I feel as though I am always pointing out the 'wrong' things she is doing and showing no patience when she behaves as I don't want her to.

This week it took 20 minutes of her crying to get her to go into her gymnastics group, which up to 3 weeks ago she loved. Once in there she was fine, all smiles and joining in. We had a friend over the other day and she refused to do anything the friend wanted to and ended up lying on the sofa leaving me and her younger sibling to entertain the friend. Today she refused to go into her swimming lesson, which she has always loved, and spent nearly the whole time screaming and crying on the side. I got in with her, said I'd swim up and down in the next lane to her, promised her hot chocolate, etc. but nothing stopped her. We eventually left but I was so angry with her for not even trying the lesson.

I try to be more positive and not pick on all the things that she does which aggravate me, I know she's only 6, but I get sooooo fed up of being ignored by her and her constant pushing of me. I also know she's pushing me to get a reaction, which I'm sorry to say she tends to get everytime eventually . Ignoring her doesn't work, she can still have a paddy for 40mins even when I'm not in the room, rewards don't seem to improve the 'bad' behaviour and I'm finding it hard being positive :(

I hate feeling like a rubbish mum to her and know she deserves better. It makes me so sad to think of how she must feel when I am moaning at her all the time and yet I can't seem to stop myself.

Not sure what I'm after posting this and reading it through it sounds a bit like a self indulgent rant . I know I am putting my own needs before dd and that's what I need to change, time to take off my self pity coat and go and get some sleep so I might do better later today!

I have DD 5 and newborn twins and have been having difficulty with her too.

Have you tried following supernannys rules?
Ive implemented some basic/easy jobs for DD to do everyday like make her bed, tidy her toys when finished, put plates in sink etc and also put a reward/punishment chart up that states what will happen if she does x,y or z. Now i'll be honest, it was working at first but having twins and being on my own (due to DP working away from home) its kind of gone wrong.
Shes throws tantrums over anything and im really losing my patience.

Basically though i know if i can keep being consistant with the rules and be clear and not just lose my temper i know things will improve. Have you tried talking to her alone and just ask her if shes ok?
Shes obviously upset by the new baby. Try taking her out for ice cream - just the two of you and tell her how much you love her.

I know its hard but you have to remain patient and just try to see it from her point of view.