Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

Any parents of 2 in a dilemma about having a 3rd?

15 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 14/04/2011 20:25

...I am!

We have 2 happy and healthy Ds's and I am getting seriously broody for a third. DS2 is now walking so is over the baby stage so that might be contributing to how I feel.

I keep swithering though, I'd love another but then it would be so much harder to have 3 kids in a physical, practical and financial sense...

Anyone want to join me in my pondering?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

triton · 14/04/2011 22:58

Hi there

I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old. I am seriously pondering a third. I know what you mean, life would be much simpler if we stuck at two. I just don't know.

IHeartKingThistle · 14/04/2011 23:08

Yep, pondering over here too. I always thought I wanted 3 but have shocked myself with how complete our family feels with 2. There are about a million reasons to stick with the lovely 2 we have. I don't particularly want to go through another pregnancy or newborn stage. I'm not even particularly broody (well, maybe a bit).

I just don't want to look back and regret not having another. I'm only 31 and I don't know if I'm done.

Fiddledee · 15/04/2011 09:17

I've hit 40 so for me its no.3 now or never. I wasn't broody until very recently have 4 and a 2 year old. DH does not want a third. We would financially be very stretched with 3, I would have to go back to work full time before the third was two years old, I've been SAHM for over 4 years. I can see light at the end of the tunnel - getting rid of buggy, cot, nappies etc.. over the next 12 months. Biologically my body is saying another baby now, my head says no way. We have just moved to a larger house it would easily fit a third but finanically nearly impossible. I think maybe I want a third knowing I can't really have one.

I also have terrible pregnancies, morning sickness throughout and I feel really ill for the whole 9 months and end up in hospital.

I still want a third, I always wanted 3 but I can see no way of doing it without harming me and the rest of the family.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

Needanewname · 15/04/2011 09:23

Well we pondered for about 5 mins then thought bugger that, we're just getting our life back!!

Seriously though, our family feels complete, I love friends babies and can;t wait for cuddles (held a couple of 2 week olds the other day - so gorgeous) however I don;t feel the need to have another myself.

Only you kow if its the right thing for you and your family.

Gemjar · 15/04/2011 09:35

I feel exactly the same, I had always thought that I would 3 but I now have 2 beautiful DS's and the smallest is only just coming up to 5 months so I am starting to think that we should stick with what we've got.

Despite the fact we can't really afford any more (but then we couldn't really afford the ones we've got), we would have to do the whole twatting buggy/nappy thing again, not to mention travelling with 3 that all need car seats. There is still that little voice that says 'well you're only 30, give it another couple of years and then you could maybe try for a third'. Practically speaking, it's a bit stupid, but that doesn't stop the little voice.

I have the added complication of having had 2 bad tears, apparently I do pregnancy well, but not birth! This means that I would have to have a CS for the 3rd. Not necessarily a deal breaker, but certainly a consideration.

Lovethesea · 15/04/2011 11:26

I have two and the youngest is 10 months. I have to say I have never had a single moment of wanting any more. I wanted two rather than one to balance the adult/child ratio in the house and change the dynamics. The idea of an accidental third wakes me in a cold sweat on occasion.

Just for a different perspective

blueshoes · 15/04/2011 12:13

Lovethesea, I am like you but I suspect our perspective is not what the OP is seeking .

OP, why exactly do you want another? Is it because you like the baby stage? If so, will having a 3rd satisfy you or will you feel broody again when dc3 is over the baby stage.

Where does your dp stand in all this?

speakercorner · 15/04/2011 13:05

I think everyone has an internal 'perfect family'. Once you get it, you feel complete. If you don't you have a yearning to live with. Mine was two (which I have) and I have had only moments of broodiness since. My best friend longs for three - always has done - DH says no, for good practical reasons. She is very very resentful. Iheart you sound like you are done to me!

IHeartKingThistle · 15/04/2011 22:11

Thanks speaker, you may be right! Oh I don't know...

lexxity · 15/04/2011 22:15

God yes! I have two perfect DS 5.5 and 4 months. I'm only 30 and part of me is wondering about that 3rd child. I hate being pregnant but love the whole newborn stage and onwards, it's been like one huge adventure that I can't wait to do again. My head says be sensible, but my heart says just one more. DS1 keeps saying he'd like another baby too.

Jojay · 15/04/2011 22:30

Be careful what you wish for!

I have 2 adorable DS's and was very broody for DC3.
DH came round to the idea and was keen to have a third too. An early miscarriage last summer made us realise that we really really wanted a third.We were both 100% sure that 3 would be it though.

I'm now 24 wks pg with twins!

Now we're over the shock we're very chuffed with the thought of having 4 kids and we think the family dynamics will be better than with 3.

But it has caused a huge reassesment of everything - new car, new buggy, extra baby kit when we thought we had everything, a bigger house in the future, the list goes on.......

But I don't think anyone ever regrets having a child once they are here, and as for the practicalities, you just make it work.

Best of luck, whatever you decide

Bumperlicioso · 15/04/2011 22:31

I'm the opposite, always swore I only wanted two, hate being pg, not a big fan of the newborn stage, am knackered, poor and can barely hold it together with the two I've got. But now I've had dd2 a little voice is saying 'never say never...'. But I need to ignore it as we really can't afford it, not to mention I'm hideous when pg and hate labour with a passion.

Iloveautumn · 17/04/2011 20:18

Not much time but thought I'd just put in another perspective of someone who did go for no 3 (but didn't get twins - phew!!)
We decided to go for a 3rd - we now have 4yrold and 2 yrold ds' and a 5mo dd.

I absolutely love it, the boys both love their sister, esp the 2yrold, and it has been much easier having a 3rd than I thought it would be.

But... before I had dd I was adamant I only ever wanted 3 but now she's here I keep thinking - I could do this again...! So I do think biology has a lot to do with it - for some people that reproductive urge just won't go away! And I am pretty sure I don't really want a 4th so am ignoring those feelings this time!

jellybeans · 17/04/2011 20:21

I got twins with no 3 as well!!! Going from 2 to 4 was a massive massive upheavel and needed a new house and car etc. Also not worth going back to work when you have 4 little ones. However, I now have another one to make 5 and love it although it is chaos, mess and noise. 3 would probably be nice as it is quite alot without being that much more work (I am only guessing as never had 3).

WelliesAndPyjamas · 17/04/2011 20:35

Definitely. We have two boys, 7 yrs and 2 yrs, and emotionally we are sooooo longing for a third. From a practical perspective it would be sensible not to as we live in a minute house and dh is about to go back to uni. Plus after two very difficult births, I was advised an elective CSec would be needed.

But a bedroom is just a space to sleep in, right? And it's not the number of rooms that makes a happy home but the love in it. Iykwim.

Flip