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Sibling Rivalry - Am at the end of my tether...please help!!

3 replies

CharlieBoo · 13/04/2011 21:08

I have two kids, ds has just turned 6 and dd is 2 in a few weeks. DS is lovely little lad who is independent, a real little boy and great fun. DD is adorable, however, she is already in the throws of terrible twos and it aint pretty. She is a very strong character, demanding, won't take 'no' or 'in a minute' for an answer. She is extremely clingy to me (I'm a SAHM) and its just so intense Im really struggling. I can't do ANYTHING with ds as she just screams and screams pulling me away, saying mummy mummy and hand hand. DS is so good, but he gets frustrated, I can see it and it makes me sad.

They get on ok at times, chasing, hide and seek etc, but they can get on each others nerves (she steals his toys on purpose, he teases her). Its like a battle ground here at the moment. The holidays is just intensifying it. I have told dp he needs to be home more to help and take her for an hour or so, so I can spend more time alone with ds. He works long hours in the city, so is not home a lot for the kids to see him, only on weekends. So most of the time its me and the kids. I am soooooooo stressed, I feel like I'm suffocating with it all, being pulled from pillar to post.

Is this just life or will things get better? DD is prone to a lot of crying/whinging and just at the moment the tantrums. There is a 4 year gap between them as we lost a baby in between ds and dd and I have longed for that 2.4 perfect happy family for so so long. Is there light at the end of the tunnel? I feel so sad ds is being pushed out and I'm helpless to it all. DD is just so demanding and I don't know how to deal with it. Help...

OP posts:
K999 · 13/04/2011 21:12

It's normal I'm afraid. I make an effort to spend time one-to-one if I can, so that I can devote attention to only one at a time. Usually about once a week. I have a seven year age gap but I feel for DD1 as she is so good with her little sister. I usually try and organise a trip to pics/shopping for me and DD1....Smile

K999 · 13/04/2011 21:14

Can you ask a friend/relative to watch DD while you do something with DS?

wearymum200 · 13/04/2011 22:36

She is 2 and it will pass! I have ds1 who is 5 and dd2 who is 2, so understand. What helps is making special time for ds1 when dd2 is asleep (bedtime routine has suddenly got a lot longer). Dh is not home in child waking hours at all in the week. I am q firm with dd2, who will be removed to her cot if plays up.
Succesful joint activities: simple board games (round the rails is loved by both), cooking eg biscuits where they can roll and shape, cakes where they can stir and decorate, gardening, pretend cafe (ds1 loves being the deliveryboy while dd2 cooks), make a village (any or all construction toys, all make a bit: houses, farms, shops etc) and especially, pretend holiday.lots of opportunity to praise positive interaction.
Try reading siblings without rivalry

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