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Parenting

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Original poster

Looking after other folks' kids

13 replies

starrychime · 13/04/2011 18:43

DD's (7) friend's very kind mum is taking my DD tomorrow and the 3 of them will spend the day together while I'm at work. She says she's looking forward to it and said what they plan to do etc. Now she genuinely does seem to be looking forward to it, no qualms at all. While I love having kids up for DD play with I always get pretty stressed, hoping the other child is OK, that they're having a good time, trying to make sure no arguing etc. I can never really relax. Are the majority of folk totally chilled about this, happy to take them out and about with no fear of losing one, other child coming to harm etc. I would love to be more relaxed like this but always get pretty twitchy!

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Hassled · 13/04/2011 18:46

I'm fine with one friend of a DC, but any more than that I get twitchy - helping on school trips sends me into a meltdown. It depends a lot on the child - some I know to be way more hard work than others, some I genuinely really like, and there are some I struggle to see the good in.

Part of your friend's relaxed attitude is probably because she knows your DD won't be hard work and is a nice girl; you should be chuffed :).

Original poster

starrychime · 13/04/2011 18:51

and at 'nice girl' hassled. Said friend has seen me in very stressed parenting mode with DD - pretty frequently. She is a bit of a minx to put it politely. However I get the feeling she is much worse with me than with other parents - fairly common I believe

OP posts:

peanutbutterkid · 13/04/2011 19:04

Kids usually act up worst for their parents -- they know parents can't give them the boot.

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BumsOnSeats · 13/04/2011 19:20

How relaxed I am depends on the child! Some are just easier to have around than others. Pet dislikes - rudeness, wingeing, not eating, not sharing, saying 'I'm bored' etc. Kids that just get on with it, muck in with my own are welcome anytime. High maintenance kids don't tend to get invited very often .

Booandpops · 13/04/2011 23:56

I had my dd best friend todAy all day at she was great. No issues at all
I have another friend whose Ds I dread having even for an hr. He is awful!
I'd be flattered. Your dd is a pleasure to have around I'd imagine

sunshineandshowers13 · 14/04/2011 09:50

i find it easier if each of my 3 has someone over as then they all seem to be wonderfully happy all day

seriously though, it depends on which children are here - def look foward to some more than others. i agree its compliment of your dd that shes welcome there. i only get harassed if i'm trying to do other stuff too - ie keep house tidy, if i resign myself to the fact that house will be a bit messy (not mayhem, not a chance) then all goes well. usually means i can chill for 1/2 hr with a book
or more likely the ironing

EssexGurl · 14/04/2011 13:53

DS had a friend to play this morning. Only 2 and a half hours but really simple. They just played in his bedroom, ran around the garden and ate DD's biscuits. They are 5. Kids are generally better behaved away from their parents. This friend was lovely, but he generally is with his mum. Even got 10 mins on MN while waiting for the mum to turn up.

It will be fine!

muminthecity · 14/04/2011 14:20

It depends how well I know the parents. When I have my best friend's DD over to play with mine, I don't worry a bit and am completely relaxed as I know my friend won't care too much if her DD comes back messy, full of sugar or if she tells her the house was a mess and she was pretty much left to her own devices.

However, when DD has a friend from school round, whose parents I don't know too well I do tend to micro-manage the DC, join in with their play and make sure they only eat healthy nutritious food, and that the house is tidy.

uklouisab · 14/04/2011 15:04

im fine with having my DD friends over to play, havent done the trips out yet as they are only 5 and playdates tend to just be for a few hours - its more the parents I am concerned at and completely stress over the house being clean and tidy beforehand!

MCos · 14/04/2011 15:19

I do the big tidy up too.. DD2 is 7, hasn't had a lot of play dates at home, and can get stroppy if upset. So I keep an eye on how things are going with her playdates. DD1 is 9, generally has the same girls over the whole time. I'm very relaxed with most of those playdates. And to repeat what everybody else is saying, it does all depend on the child visiting. And the nice and easy ones get invited more often. Some of the children who are harder work only get invited to return a playdate at their house..

ExpectoPatronum · 14/04/2011 17:59

Heavens no, I really hate having other people's children over, and I only do it so that my DC can be sociable.

I volunteer one morning a week in a primary school and I really love it, but it's a totally different matter when they're in your own home.

DS2 (4) gets hugely overexcited if either of the others has a friend over, so he's then a massive pain and I spend all afternoon separating warring factions.

And DD has two 'best' friends (which is never a good situation), and I won't have them both over at once because it goes from shrieky and giggly to DD someone left out and crying within about an hour.

And DS1 has some nice friends but I don't really know their parents, so if they ever come over I'm then stressy about whether they're OK, what if they hurt themselves, what if they don't eat anything, etc. etc.

To be honest, three children of my own is quite enough and so I only do playdates under extreme duress.

nappyaddict · 14/04/2011 21:04

I enjoy it but it's usually children of my friends that I look after who are incidentally DS' friends as well. Only ever had DS and 2 others at a time.

MonkeyandParrot · 15/04/2011 23:23

I love it! I currently have my friends DD (3) every Friday for 2 hours - she and my DD1 (who are bestest best friends) play together while DD2 and I catch up with the housework. My friend is having pre op treatment and is constantly apologising for the inconvinence (her DD is a holy terror for her :-) ) and doesn't seem to believe me how easy it is! I am fully aware that I am increadibly lucky that they are both good shares and enjoy the same games so get on together so well. But maybe your friend has a simillar set up in mind

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