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Original poster

how does this sound to those of you who've done it all before?

26 replies

pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:06

Have posted this in potty training but thought I might get more responses here from people who've trained (a) child(ren) before.......

Started training DS (just 3) on Saturday. At first he totally refused to sit on the pot or toilet at all. On Sunday got him to agree to sit on the pot but didn't manage to coincide with any wee or poo, so had a couple of accidents. Monday he went to nursery and they managed to get him to sit (very reluctantly) and finally got a wee in the toilet. That afternoon I had him sitting on the pot a lot and got 2 teeny wees in it as well as about 3 teeny accidents.

Then yesterday he flooded himself at nursery at play time (he goes 9-1.30 everyday). Came home and said pee pee but before I could get him to the pot/loo he flooded the floor. Did loads of potty sitting all afternoon and then had a huge accident. Have had him on the pot all morning before nursery and once on the toilet when he got up but he's produced nothing. Gone off to nursery now for the morning.

Does this sound fairly par for the course for 4 days with a 3 yr old boy? Nursery aren't stressing it but I find it all quite stressful, although I'm very careful not to convey that, just find it's on my mind a lot.

He only pees about 4 times a day as well which means we're getting less practice. I haven't tried giving him more to drink as I want to see what his natural pattern is and try and work with that. All poos have been overnight, so no chance to practice that.

I'm 34 weeks pg so feel the option of leaving it til later isn't there and anyway at 3 I think he really should be old enough to have a go. A week or two before we started he voluntarily did a poo in the toilet but we didn't start as the weather wasn't good and the nursery advised waiting til it got a bit warmer. So, I think he's capable, just it's a lot to learn. Does it just sort of suddenly click?

Sorry that was very long...

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frantic51 · 13/04/2011 11:10

My DS just wouldn't sit down to wee so was about the same age as yours before we had any success with training. We got a toddler step to put in front of the loo and put stickers for him to "hit" in the lavatory pan and treated it like a game!

OrganisedMayhem · 13/04/2011 11:14

Reading your post suggests that he may not be ready. As you are 34 weeks pregnant I would stop trying.

Wait until the baby arrives because such an upheaval normally makes them regress anyway.

My DD decided after seeing her baby sister wear nappies that she wanted to potty train. DD2 was about 6 weeks old but because DD1 wanted to use the potty and not wear nappies, it worked out best for all of us.

The idea of potty training with a newborn is horrible, but in reality is doable - trust me!

Good luck.

sunshineandshowers13 · 13/04/2011 11:17

sounds about right to be honest Smile
its still really soon to looking for much more and i found my ds def took longer than my dds. am probably stating the obvious but have you tried books and toys while sitting on the potty/toilet? and something i heard about but didnt ever try was putting food colouring in the toilet water (to make it a game!)or little floaty things that he can try and aim for? I always found it difficult when my dc was at nursery as then there were 2 different routines going on and i obviously didnt know what they had done while they were at nursery. Because of this i waited til the holidays when we were at home and could just chill out. think i let them run around with no nappy or pull up on so it was a bit quicker!
i now its difficult but he'll get there in the end! good luck!

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Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:17

But it's only been 4 days, surely I should give it a bit longer?

OP posts:
SummerRain · 13/04/2011 11:18

i potty trained ds1 when ds2 was only a few weeks old. He just wasn't ready before the birth but he needed to be trained for summer (he was doing a few summer camps with his big sister).

It was fine, honestly.... I dreaded the thought of doing it with a bf newborn in tow but he grasped peeing in the loo very quickly once he was ready... pooing was another story but we got there in the end.

TheMonster · 13/04/2011 11:18

I would leave it, to be honest. There is not rush and he sounds reluctant.

Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:18

that was in response to organisedmayhem btw.

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TheMonster · 13/04/2011 11:19

We started and stoppped many times before we got there too!

Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:22

I don't think he's reluctant, just I think it hasn't fully clicked what I want him to do. I think going back into nappies is sending confusing signals, surely?
The first day he didn't want to sit on the pot but now sits for ages watching cbeebies or doing his scrapbook, just don't think we've coincided enough with wees yet for him to fully get it.

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WowOoo · 13/04/2011 11:23

With ds1 it just suddenly clicked. just after ds2 was born! I think he decided he was a big brother and just said 'I don't want to wear nappies anymore'. Compared to my friends who started much earlier we had hardly any accidents and he's never wet the bed either. He was almost 4 yrs old (3 yrs 9 months) though!!

OrganisedMayhem · 13/04/2011 11:24

Potty training is tricky and stressful - i know it is only four days but I think with a baby arriving soon, even if you crack it over the next few days it will be tough when your baby arrives.
These things take time time and it's easier to do it when you are sure they are ready.
If you think he is ready keep going, but personally I would stop, take it easy and enjoy the last few weeks before baby arrives!

TheMonster · 13/04/2011 11:26

Going back to nappies isn't confusing, IMO.
Things are about to get extremely confusing for him in a few weeks with a new sibling, so for that reason, I would leave it for a while.

Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:26

He doesn't wee all that often...maybe 4 or 5 times a day and I think I'd rather clean them up and keep trying than confuse him by going back to nappies. He told me he needed a pee yesterday but didn't get there in time. I just wondered whether anyone else thought it sounded like we were progressing or it was a waste of time, or whether it's too early to say.

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upyourdiva · 13/04/2011 11:26

Sounds a bit like my DS.

He refused point blank to use the toilet/potty and it really was frustrating because people kept telling us he should be out of nappies etc. Eventually when he was 3.8 months I decided I was fed up with nappies so just used the last of them and never bought anymore!

DS still refused to use the potty and would have accidents all day which was very hard work and hard to keeep my temper down but after 2 exhausting weeks he finally sat on the toilet at nursery and for a pee... a week later he was using the toilet all day by himself and 2 weeks later he was out of night time nappies too and since then (February last year) we have had a handful of accidents at most none of which have been at night.

So I truly think looking back he was'nt ready and I wish I had stopped listening to people telling me what my son should be doing and not beaning myself up about it, it would have saved soo much agro!!!

If he is refusing leave it and just keep a potty to hand in the house and let him run around without pants if you can and one day he will do it himself.

upyourdiva · 13/04/2011 11:28

Oh and also meant to ask does he prefer toilet or potty?

I only mention this as my DS HATED the potty and never used it so we let him pick a toddler seat for himself and we decorated a toilet step with stickers from poundland.

I know it sounds a faff but I think it helped us :)

Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:28

upyourdiva.....He's done a pee at nursery and 2 little ones for me in a pot and told me yesterday he needed a wee but didn't make it to the loo. I'm keeping him pant free all the time at home and getting him to sit frequently on the pot.

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Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:29

he prefers the pot as he can sit and watch cbeebies or do his scrapbook. He will happily sit for ages on the pot.

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upyourdiva · 13/04/2011 11:33

Aaah I see.

I know it's a bit obvious but have you tried a reward chart?

We got a pack of 5 with star stickers from the pound shop and would give him a star for a pee and a car sticker for a poo (I know it sounds mad :o) and when he got 10 stars and 5 cars he was allowed to pick a treat from a tub.

Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 11:51

I've thought of that but it might be a bit slow as he only wees max 4 times a day and has done all his poos so far overnight, so might take ages to get a prize...do you think that would be demoralising? Maybe 3 pees and get a prize.

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Original poster
pipoca · 13/04/2011 12:16

thinking it over, going to give reward chart a go but will reward sooner than you or he won't get a prize forever!

OP posts:
upyourdiva · 13/04/2011 14:22

Yes would advise to go with your child as mine could pee for Britain at the olympics :o

Start off with a small sweet or a colouring pencil every time he uses the loo then when he gets regular prizes build it up to every 3 times and see how it goes :)

If it does'nt happen don't fret, I just kept telling myself that there are no healthy adults who just never learned to use the toilet so it will happen:o

BeaMoaning · 13/04/2011 14:27

I cracked it with dd by buying her some stickers to decorate the potty with, I went and bought her knickers with her favourite character on and while she sat on the potty I would blow bubbles for as long as she stayed there Grin.
If she did something on the potty she would get another sticker.
I did this for 3 days and she had cracked it.

LadyWord · 13/04/2011 14:30

OK here's my method:

  • Put him in training pants/pull-ups that he can pull up and down himself.
  • Take him to the toilet regularly - eg whenever you go, and/or anytime he seems to want to go, plus before and after going out, getting up, bedtime etc.
  • Each time, encourage him to have a quick go at weeing or pooing in the toilet. If he doesn't, no big deal - change the pull-ups whenever necessary without a fuss.
  • If any poo or wee goes in the toilet - chocolate button. (Or sticker on a chart if you don't want to do choc.) (It works though)

Gradually, you get more of the wees and poos going in the toilet and he will get into the habit of saving it for the toilet. Before that long, pull-ups will always be dry and you just switch to proper pants.

(Of course there can be the odd accident now and again for a while after that.)

I don't know why people go cold turkey/have to stay in the house/sit their DC on the toilet for ages. No need.

exhausted2011 · 13/04/2011 14:31

i think 4 days is far too early to expect anything more than this.
A lot of "not ready" argument comes from how much they understand.
I don't think there is anything wrong with going back to nappies, we did it on and off for a while.
If you possibly can, I would leave the nappy off completely, when you are at home obviously! and let him run around barebum for a while.

manitz · 13/04/2011 14:31

i've not done a boy but two girls. feels like ages ago so may have forgotten a bit but with dd1 i did a few day spell then back in nappies and tried again about a fortnight later when she didn't get it I then tried again about two weeks later. One day she just got it and wanted to do it. With dd2 she showed she was ready much earlier and was dry quickly however she would shit everywhere and anywhere. I threw away a large number of knickers. Was quite a stressful period for other reasons so put her back in nappy and tried again 6 montsh later, all was fine.

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