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Parenting

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Original poster

Cant ever get anything done!!!

15 replies

digimand · 13/04/2011 11:02

Is it just me or does anyone else find it almost impossible to get anything done all day when looking after a baby? For example, getting yourself dressed and having breakfast - I just never seem to have the opportunity to do the most basic things for myself and the housework just stacks up and up and it's really depressing to see all the stuff that needs doing, but I cant get on and do stuff at the same time as keeping an eye on my very active 9 month old.

Feel like such a failure when looking around it seems that other mums, even those with more than one child seem to cope perfectly well. It's such a huge stress out just trying to get organised to leave the house, sometimes I just can't face it

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peanutbutterkid · 13/04/2011 11:09

Not just you, it takes years of practice to learn to start and finish things in disconnected 45 second bursts. You will get there eventually, honest.

Albrecht · 13/04/2011 11:17

Me too! I do an hour of washing up,kitchen surface and under highchair wiping, washing sorting, toy tidying once he's in bed. Everything else is just sliding til dh has a day off.

Your baby is important. Housework isn't.

ChestnutSoup · 13/04/2011 11:22

You're not on your own! It is hard, juggling a baby with everything else you need to do, especially when the baby is on the move.

But don't compare yourself to other mums. Remember they are probably envious that your LO is so active!

Be kind to yourself and try and make things easier for yourself. Things that might help are: having a change station in your living room as well as in the LO's room (a bag of nappies, wipes and bags will do); making sure your change bag is ready to go at any time by replenishing nappies and clothes when you have a moment (when the LO is asleep?) rather than trying to do it when you ar about to go out; having coats and shoes by the front door to avoid trekking back and forth; sort out your breakfast the night before (make some Bircher muesli - tastes great and keeps you going until lunchtime); have a shower or bath at night so in the morning you only need to get dressed...

And remember that you are not the only person who has felt like this.

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ChestnutSoup · 13/04/2011 11:24

Oh, and if you can afford it, get a cleaner for a couple of hours a week. They can do the deep cleaning of bathroom and kitchen, so all you need to do is whisk round with the hoover every now and then, and wipe the kitchen surfaces. It makes a world of difference.

paddypoopants · 13/04/2011 11:27

I was the same- ds was always on the go and seemd to take up every second of the day and my house was a mess, I was lucky if I got a shower. I ended up putting him in nursery for 2 mornings a week when he was 14 months to do a years backlog of housework and I remember how happy it made me to be able to clean the bathroom in peace. How sad is that.
My friend who had a ds same age as mine was so together - house immaculate, her immaculate I felt totally inadequate compared to her. Then I found out her ds slept for 3 hours every afternoon (mine slept for 30 mins) and he was quite happy in his playpen or chair watching her clean. Once I saw that I felt better- it wasn't me being rubbish it's just some kids just take up more time than others and it's not your fault.

Oneof4 · 13/04/2011 11:32

I'm so glad you posted that OP - I spend the entire day rocking my colicy baby and trying to order food online with one hand so at least we can eat!

redvelvetmooncupcake · 13/04/2011 11:35

It's not just you, I promise, I posted something really similar recently. My DD is not the sort of baby you can let out of your sight either! Like Albrecht says though, your baby is way more important. You've got the rest of your life to have an immaculate house, for now settle for a clean enough one. Babies are not babies very long at all :( , just try to enjoy.

Maybe work on your getting-out-of-the-house technique though, because if you're out you don't make any mess!

Adair · 13/04/2011 11:43

What peanutbutterkid said, I can do more now with 3 dc than I could ever do with just my first!

quickchat · 13/04/2011 20:49

I was worse with my first. I felt just like you.
I have no idea why but when you have 2 you get more organised so the smug mummy's with more than one who are up sharp, dressed and out before you have kind of evolved over the years.

You don't become an organised parent of children overnight.

It takes lots of getting caught out in your dressing gown at 12, missing appointments, loosing car keys whilst out shopping with baby, never having anything in for the tea, never having clean ironed clothes in the morning before you think FOR FUCK SAKE there must be an easier way!

trixie123 · 13/04/2011 21:22

that age is difficult because they are mobile but not capable of entertaning themselves much. I managed by making the living room pretty much bomb proof so I knew I could leave DS in there for a few minutes while putting on washing or whatever. I washed up with him crawling round my feet or sitting in the high chair eating raisins. Other stuff got done when he was asleep. As for getting dressed etc, I would either have him on the bathroom floor with some toys or in his cot for the couple of mins it takes or had a shower before DP left for work. Bathroom gets cleaned once very 1-2 weeks at the weekend usually by DP. It gets a bit easier again when they are old enough to be interested in one thing for longer periods - DS has a couple of books and toys which seem to absorb him, and lately he can amuse himself for about 15 mins taking everything out of a drawer and then putting it back one by one. Try and have some toys in each room you need to do things in.

AngelDog · 13/04/2011 21:49

Yep, me too - I have a 15 m.o. who is actually pretty happy to entertain himself with a bit of input. But today it took me 30 mins to wash last night's non-dishwasher dishes as I had to keep breaking off to retrieve random items he'd thrown out of the back door. I struggle to get out of the house before 10am.

A friend with 3 children - one at school and one at a nursery a good mile or so in the opposite direction - is always very organised. I asked her to talk me through how she did it and one of her comments was that she hated it - she managed it by being cross, shouty and stressed on busy days. She said she wished she was able to be as non-organised as she was when she just had one child.

I do manage to keep on top of the bathroom as DS loves to stand on the loo & dabble in the sink (has been doing it since he was able to stand holding onto something safely). He plays there while I get dry & dressed, I wipe over the bath, loo & sink (I use microfibre cloths so no chemicals).

He enjoys throwing around sorting the washing while I do laundry.

IAmTheCookieMonster · 13/04/2011 21:57

I feel like i'm going to cry tonight, ds is being really clingy today and sleeping on me and wakes when i put him down and i managed to get some dinner on but the rice has burned and the smoke alarm woke him up and i have calmed him down but now i can't make any dinner because he is even clingier and dh isn't home till 11 and he'll be hungry and i've not put away the clean clothes (that he washed and asked me to put away) that are n the bed so i can't even go to bed because i can't clear it with one hand without throwing them all over the floor which has dirty clothes on :-(

Ceasnake · 13/04/2011 22:44

If your little one likes water, I find you can get in a fairly decent shower (if you have a shower over the bath) by sticking the baby in the other end of the bath and showering with them. My DS loves this, splashing in the water and putting the plug in and out of the bath.

AngelDog · 13/04/2011 22:51

Oh, and once they're pulling up, dropping things into the bath/shower works really well too. DS chucks his ball pit balls in, and I periodically throw them out again. Keeps him occupied for ages (I take a long while in the shower!).

IAmTheCookieMonster, do you have a sling you could use to put your DS in? That's what I do when he just wants to be picked up and I have urgent jobs to do.

Original poster

digimand · 13/04/2011 23:02

thanks for your comments everyone... you're right, there is a particular friend of mine who seems to have everything under control, but she now has 3 children so I suppose you do learn as the years go by.

Am feeling much less guilty having read what you are all saying, I need to stop sweating the small stuff and just enjoy the time with my little boy.

Cookie Monster - I cry a lot! I think I would go crazy if I didnt, its a useful release when you get a load of really tough days in a row

Ceasnake - its weird cos DS happily plays in bath whilst DP is showering next to him, but when I try, DS crawls around and tries standing up so I have to quickly wash my hair and jump out before he can hurt himself

Someone earlier posted about making one room baby-proof so you can nip into kitchen to quickly do stuff - I have done this too and sometimes it works, just depends on DS's mood. At the moment, I only have to walk through to get rid of a nappy and I turn round to find he's crawled after me, all eager to see what he's missing!!

Thanks again everyone, I really feel much better now. Wish I'd found the time to sign up to the forum before!! =o)

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