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Original poster

Soft Toys in Bed

34 replies

QueenSconetta · 12/04/2011 21:00

I think you're going to tell me I am mean, but DD (nearly 17 months) has just started wanting to take a soft toy to bed with her.

She never has before and its never been a problem. I REALLY don't want to get into a situation where she won't go to sleep with out x toy and I am paranoid about her bury her face in it and getting suffocated.

DP it to her tonight (was not pleased!) so let it go and said to her that 'once you are asleep I will put Monkey in his own bed', which I have done. I also think tomorrow I will put him out of immediate site (not totally hide him or anything) and see if we can go back to the status quo.

I'm making too much of an issue of this aren't I?

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niamh29 · 13/04/2011 00:55

Both my DDs have had a soft toy to bed since about a year, there really is no harm of them suffOcating on them, not at 17 months! I try to eliminate the "having to have one particular teddy" by having a teddy box with all their teddies in it and they choose what teddy they want at bedtime.
Strangely it's something I encouraged because I know I loved having teddies to bed as a child.

madbunnieseggnest · 13/04/2011 01:02

Good grief..you should see the state of my kids beds! My eldest seems to have allocated himself half the bed, the rest is soft toys (now 11) younger ds has to make a "den" and dissapears under a pile of toys. I had, and still have, 4 dcs despite the mounds of soft toys that they have ended up with.

cat64 · 13/04/2011 01:05

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 13/04/2011 07:29

You know you are a loon don't you?
My DD has only recently allocated a special position of high status to a PG tips monkey. He is the only one (of approx 80 stuffed toys) who sleeps with her.
When she was younger, she had maybe 25 in bed with her at any one time.
She is nearly 10 and so far has not suffocated.

Seona1973 · 13/04/2011 07:58

both mine have a bed full of soft toys too - we always take a selection of them away with us when we go on holiday too

usualsuspect · 13/04/2011 08:07

My Ds used to make a nest in his bed out of soft toys

bless him

hes made to a big galumphing teen without suffocating

LawrieMarlow · 13/04/2011 08:09

They are full of toys. They do have favourite ones. And many more besides.

angel1976 · 13/04/2011 08:10

Attachment to a soft toy is a very healthy part of their development. I've encouraged it with my DCs since they were young (instead of a dummy, this is what they used and before anyone cried about me being 'anti-dummy', I'm not, my boys just never took to then!). If they get attached to one particular one, just make sure you have multiples of them and rotate! Or get two of the same thing and encourage them to get attached to that particular one. I found this on the internet so don't know how scientific it is but it sounds about right.

"Classic types of soft toys perform two basic functions in the life of a child. First, they give the child what is probably its first experience of an attachment to something other than its mother and father (or of course its father and father, or its mother and its other mother). This is an extremely important thing for a child to learn. An attachment to a soft toy is a natural and healthy way of starting to learn that there are other things in the world to which one can become attached. In other words, that one is able to make friends."

DS1 (3) goes to sleep with blankie, monkey, bluey (an owl), teddy and a magic torch.
DS2 (17 months) goes to sleep with blankie, Peppa and monkey.

WowOoo · 13/04/2011 08:12

Mine have had soft toys with them in bed since thye were tiny. Ds2 who is 20 months cuddles his, it's so cute.

amothersplaceisinthewrong · 13/04/2011 08:13

My 20 YEAR old dd still has an array of soft toys on her beds, her favourites being a Mummy and Baby Polar bear..... . Baby Polar Bear visited Australia and the far east when she was travelling last year and goes to Uni with her!

ajandjjmum · 13/04/2011 08:13

DS loved Ted from when he was very small - we bought another one (known as Ted's friend!) in case of loss!!! At 19, Ted and Ted's friend are still waiting on DS's bed to welcome him back from uni. And I have a sneaky little snuggle with them when he's away.

Librashavinganotherbiscuit · 13/04/2011 08:14

QueenSconetta when you have finished reading the replies open another window, find 2 more monkeys and buy them now. DS reached 2.5 before deciding he had a favourite soft toy and of course that soft toy has now gone out of production so we just have to pray we never lose it.
Know the phrase "choose your battles", this isn't a battle worth fighting.

givequicheachance · 13/04/2011 08:20

Oh my GOD you meany!

I actually feel quite upset that you are depriving her of the relationship I had with Old Ted. Old Ted was my best friend for so many years, I told him all my secrets, took him on holidays, dressed him up, held endless tea parties, sobbed into his furry belly when my first boyfriend dumped me.

Old Ted sat on the shelf in my daughter's room and silently gave me his balding snouty encoutragement when I was trying and failing to breastfeed my first baby. I would catch his friendly eye and give it another go.

Old Ted is now a venerable old bear who is excused the more vigerous duties of small girl companionship, but he still enjoys a good tea party, and still looks faintly embarrassed in a daisy chain crown.

Let her sleep with Monkey!

BertieBotts · 13/04/2011 08:37

She'll be fine. They can have duvets from a year and it took me until at least ten or so before I stopped feeling suffocated if I had a duvet over my head.

Soft toys can be a godsend when they get to the stage of not wanting to go to bed, it becomes "Oh dear, Monkey is tired, he wants to sleep now. Now shhh! Don't wake monkey!"

Dancergirl · 13/04/2011 11:45

I hope you're joking but I suspect you're not!

You won't let your little girl take a soft toy to bed??? WTF??

What are soft toys for then if not to cuddle in bed - to make their room look pretty??

My dds all have cuddly toys in/on their beds. Dd2 has a favourite, dd1 has a collection of favourites! and dd3 chooses something different each night.

Really, relax about it.

Bumpsadaisie · 13/04/2011 12:13

I was desperate for my DD (now 22mths) to get attached to a teddy so that she could be happy to be a bit more independent at night. Thankfully it happened at 20 months and now she sleeps through every night cuddling him. They really are not going to suffocate at this age, any more than we would suffocate ourselves using a soft toy!

PS make sure you have two Monkeys - put one away in case disaster befalls #1!

ZombieComforts · 13/04/2011 13:25

I think you could have PFB syndrome here. I guarantee that if you read this in 12 months time you'll realise you're being a loon.

caughtinanet · 13/04/2011 13:32

Surely having a favourite soft toy is an essential part of childhood, I've never heard anyone say that they would deny a child a toy for the reasons you've given - you are making too much of it and being mean imo.

seeker · 13/04/2011 13:36

Apart from anything else, why would you sabotage anything that helps the sleep!!!!!!!!

My dd's much loved Grandma died recently, and her bear and her monkey, who have been living on her bedside shelf for a couple of year are back in bed again every night. ........she is 15!

Itsjustafleshwound · 13/04/2011 13:36

I really have never heard of a child being suffocated by a toy - sorry!

I just think you are over thinking all of it and a bedtime toy actually makes their bedtime easier ....

G'wan - it isn't a bad thing to have

FunnysInTheGarden · 13/04/2011 13:39

a bit PFB I agree. I am always trying to get DS2 (and DS1 for that matter) to get attached to the teddy I bought him as opposed to the one DH bought him, because I am competative like that So far neither boys have got attached to any of their teddys much to my annoyance

nappydaysagain · 13/04/2011 13:40

AAh ajandjjmum - I think that's lovely that you have a sneaky snuggle with Ted and Ted's friend .

My DS1 & 2 still love their soft toys and they are nearly 10 and 7 and both have a bed full. DS3 is already attached to a soft toy who he cuddles in his sleep and he's 10 months. I'm back at work soon but only for 2 days a week and I feel happy knowing that DS3 will have his favourite cuddly with him .

mrsoliverramsay · 13/04/2011 14:10

My son goes to bed with Hamish, Cyril, Lucky, Buttons, Snowy, little ted, Tigger and Winnie. I think I have mentioned them all. He is 3

Oblomov · 13/04/2011 14:31

Ds1 had 'Mr Dog'. Ds2 has rabbitt and mouse.
I am not keen on piles and piles on toys in beds. But then I am not keen on tonnes of toys. My sil has a lounge full of toys, a playroom full of toys and now the conservatory is filled. she only has 2 children same ages as me. Mad.

notcitrus · 13/04/2011 14:54

Soft toys are great!
Ds 2.6 has never wanted them - he has blankies and then hard toys - tractor, plastic tunnel, plastic Makka Pakka, wooden book end, and whatever book he's 'reading'.

Which mostly is fine (with the odd middle-night request for another random object), but sometimes something clonks him on the head.

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