Attachment Parenting - from theory to practice

[Cbell]

I guess what I want to know is how do you do it?

I have a pretty good understanding of attachment theory and how it can affect the long term development of a child. However, this is more of a theoretical basis as I've recently completed an MEd Psychology.

I got pregnant with my daughter at the end of my course and it just seemed natural to me that I would follow this approach. However, despite thinking we would co-sleep, we don't. She likes her crib and I like cuddling my hubby. I did do a lot of baby wearing while she was tiny but now she's bigger (3 months) she's not so keen. I still pop her in a sling when we are out and about but not in the house. She wants to be played with or carried while she drools and stares at things.

I do understand that AP is more of a philosophy but I am interested in what it looks like in other peoples homes.

I like the idea of attachment parenting in theory (although I am fairly Dickensian with my DC sometimes). But I was taught that Bowlby has been seriously over egged! The sample used was of seriously deprived and neglected children and he was paid to do the study by a post war Gov't who were trying to get women out of the workplace and back into the home so that returning soldiers could have their jobs back.

You're right that attachment theory was used politically - but a secure attachment to primary carers is pretty fundamental to children. Insecure/anxious attachments or attachment disorders can affect children's ability to form relationships, do well in school, be happy adults etc.

I'm not sure if I'd call myself an attachment parent, but I do think responding quickly and consistently to your baby is vital. For me and ds that has been things like breastfeeding on demand, co-sleeping in the early months, carrying him a lot, not leaving him to cry at night. At the same time though there are compromises between parent and child - I stopped feeding to sleep before ds would have chosen to, I initiated nightweaning and moving him into his own room. But I tried to move at a pace he was comfortable with.

Oh yes i totally get that and see the importance, it was just that I found the political aspect interesting when I first learnt about it

fishsticks behaviourism also has lots of dodgey political links, and it seems to be flavour of the month for child rearing (supernanny et al) despite the use of "time out" having been renounced by the psychologist that developed it many years ago.

I'm sure many psychological theories have been used and abused by those in power.

Yeah I dislike time outs alot, I think ignoring is a nasty way to treat someone

I agree. It only "works" on children because they crave our attention so much.

Explains a lot about our punitive prison system and rates of recividism.

I don't smack, but my parents did and I can remember feeling much more hurt and upset when they used ignoring as a punishment rather than a tap on the behind.

I agree. My memories of being punished as a child are of being, hurt, scared, confused and often wronged. Recently i read Unconditional parenting by alfie kohn and so much of it clicked and made complete sense to me that i am trying to raise ds without punishments or rewards. It's tricky as it's so ingrained (in self and others).