DD struggling to make friends at Playgroup

[RandomDad]

DD is 3.4 - a wonderful, clever, kind and gentle hearted child, but he's getting upset at Playgroup because he doesn't know how to make friends.

Obviously this is upsetting us too.

Any words of advice from the army of mega-Mums out there.

Cheers

Sorry meant DS not DD.

DD is only 1 and has 'issues of her own.

How long has he been going? Because my dd1 found it hard to join in with new kids when she started at pre-school - she hung around with her little mates from childminder for quite a while. Staff flagged it up with DP. What I would say is that she is now very good with new groups, a year later...

It is a hard old world for a toddler! My ds one week is friends with everybody then the next week on his own!

Does he have any friends outside nursery that he can practise social skills on?
Does he go to the kiddie hangouts (soft play areas and so on) to get used to other kids?
How do you know that he has no friends? Is this him telling you? Could you use his next birthday to throw a party and invite his playgroup children?

He's been going for 6 months, but it only recently seems to have been a problem.

It's looking like he's going to be quite shy, so any coping strategies will help.

Don't think it is that uncommon at 3 tbh. Perhaps ask the playgroup leader about it and maybe she can engineer some paired activities to break the ice a bit.

Have you had a word with the staff? Maybe they could pair him up with one of the more established children ask them to look after him?

What is his current Modus Operandi? Does he stand shyly back, or leap in scattering children in all directions?

Usually, I think friendships between children are heavily facilitated by adults. Get two or more children to play through you - and include things that they have inter-act over.

He's got upset the last couple of days 9which is unusual), but wouldn't tell us why.

DW says she thinks it's because he wants to make friends, but doesn't know how.

My advice would be to take a few potential mates into town for a few beers, but of course he'll have to wait 15 years to be able to do this.

He seems much more confident around older children and adults (and his speach and creative play is very good), but with school less than a year away - it's an issue I'd like to try and get to grips with.

Of course it could all blow over in a week or two.

I think a few play dates might be a good idea, something we've not really tried before.

...and yes Dad's worry an over-react too !!

Well this one does at least.

Haven't been able to concentrate at work all day.

Thanks for all your wise and sensible words.

I'll keep you posted on progress.

Well you never know, RandomDad, you taking some potential mates Dad's round to the pub might just do the trick!

That - I will try !!