help me improve my bedtime routine with dd1 (3.9) and dd2 (4 months)

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im finding bedtimes difficult, any suggestions please?
6.30 try to put dd2 in cot for sleep/rest while i run dd1s bath.
quickly bath dd1 but dd2 starts to cry half way through.
7 try to read dd1 stories/songs but dd2 sits for 5 mins on my lap then crys loudly so dd1 cant hear and i cant think straight so i leave dd1 to fall asleep.
7.30 bath dd2, give her last feed and she falls asleep by 8 through till 6.30 next day.

dd2 doesnt want to be put down when she is awake but she hates her bouncy chair and gets bored on her play mat or cot after 5 mins.

help me please????

hiya- mine dd1 is 5 and dd2 is 5 months, I do 1 of 2 things;

1. bath them both together at between 630-7pm, then all get into dd1s bed to read a story whilst I feed dd2 her last feed. Usually dd2 falls asleep and I then move her into her cot. If she doesnt I take her away when story and cuddles with dd1 are finished and do what I have to, to get her to sleep.

2. More recently I have decided that dd1 doesnt really need a bath every night. So I let her watch tv and have a hot chocolate whilst I bath dd2 at around 6-7pm (depending on how tired dd2 is) feed her and put her to bed- then put dd1 to bed with a story about 8pm.

Hope that helps

When DS2 was 4 months old, DS1 was 2.8 but am sure the principles will be the same I did:

6.30 - bathed them together - I bought a plastic bath support thing for DS2 to lie in. They loved being bathed together and, 2 years later, they still do After about 10 minutes, took DS2 out and dried/dressed him on the bathroom floor whilst DS1 played in the bath for a bit longer. Got Ds1 out and PJ's on.

7.00 - go downstairs with them both. Gave DS2 his last feed whilst DS1 had glass of milk and some supper/watched telly.

7.30 (ish) - took DS1 to bed and read story in bed whilst DS2 stayed downstairs on playgym/moses basket. Generally DS2 would then fall asleep by 8.00pm downstairs with us.

Not long after 4 months, I think we started putting DS2 to bed upstairs so I would do that after his last feed whilst DS1 stayed downstairs eating his supper/watching TV.

I realise that this may not work for you as I was fortunate that I had a DS2 that was perfectly happy to be left by himself for a short while and also that would fall asleep wherever he was. Hope you find a solution but would definitely start with bathing them together and taking it from there

was wondering about bathing them together but thought 4 months was a bit young for big bath/bit too hot too with dd1.
if dd2 would settle earlier i would get her down 1st but after her 6ish feed she wakes again, she doesnt settle till 8 and that would be far too late for dd1.
i actually put dd2 in bed with dd1 tonight for songs and she calmed down but dd1 was maoning saying she was heavy/hot on her and dd1 just wants 5/10 mins quiet time with me before falling asleep which dd2 is preventing.
dd2 tends to fall asleep in my arms after her last feed then i carry her up to her cot so i could try feeding her in dd1s room but prob too early for her.

i am awe of people with 3/4 kids wh just seem to manage.

i dont think 4 months is too young for big bath- i've been doing it from birth. those bath seats are good and can hold them out of the water if you are worried about finding an intermediate temperature (i do have our baths quite warm, and baby tolerates it ok).

hmmm to timings...i think I got lucky because the baby is pretty predictable and dd1 is pretty flexible...but couldnt you start tweaking yours, so that dd2 goes slightly earlier and dd1 slightly later and try and meet in the middle?

i'm with you on the last point- 2 is my limit!

dd1 gets very tired and basically after dinner and some milk she asks for her bath by 6.30 so doubt i could stretch that without her going over tired and monsterlike.
dd2 is constantly changing but at the moment 8 is her time, she gets up at 6.30 which is perfect as i can feed and change her and then wake dd1 at 7 to get ready for nursery and im scared of ruining my good mornings.
i suppose i just feel guilty that dd1 isnt getting her bedtime routine

You have to compromise a bit early on. DS1 was 2.9 when DD2 came along. I used to try and get DD2 into cot/ on floor asleep for 15 minutes to do story, but often it ended up with me feeding her while reading story. Bathed them together from about 3m. Baby gym and DD2 left in it while read to DS1 if possible (musical one worked quite well for a bit). And sometimes, left DD2 to cry while DS1 got his story.
It will pass.
Now DD2 is 2.4, DS1 5.3 and bedtime routine for both of them takes me 1.5 hours......

DD1 is 2.2 and DD2 4 months and I have recently started this, which is working well for us:

Put DD2 in cool shallow bath (on back) at about 615. Meanwhile DD1 is watching telly/running about and I am stripping her whenever she comes near me.

DD2 comes out of bath and I fill it a it more with warmer water and bubbles and chuck DD1 in it.

Dress DD2 for bed while DD1 in bath and sit with her on my knee until DD1 finished, when she goes into her bouncy chair for a few minutes (she often cries but I just put up with it for a minute or 2).

Dress/toothbrush DD1 in bathroom.

DD2 is still in moses basket in my room so we all get into my bed, I feed DD2 and read stories to DD1/she has milk. DD2 will generally drift off even if not for long, so I then put her in moses basket and take DD to bed. Then back to DD2 if she is awake (again, she may cry for a few mins here).

thanks all, dd2 fell asleep at 6 tonight for a nap so i ran bath for me and dd1 quickly, then when dd2 woke up again we all went in dd1s room and i put them both in the bed for stories which was so cute as they cuddled up and were both looking at the book, sang a few songs then brought dd2 downstairs for quick bath/feed/bed so im getting the hang of it now.

dd2 just doesnt want to be left at the moment but putting her in the bed she was quiet no crying so she likes being part of things