kids doing more

[Magicmayhem]

I'm a single parent to 2 young teenagers, recently I have given them more responsibility round the house, ie emptying the dishwasher, loading the dishwasher etc making their own packed lunch for school, tidying their rooms,... well to be honest we've always had these rules only the pack lunch one is new and I now tend to moan reinforce them more...

The children have both decided that they won't bother to make sandwiches for theirselves. I am buying little packs of grapes, sausages and ketchup, crisps, ham, cheese, wraps etc but they are still choosing not to make them, so the ham, cheese, wraps are being wasted... (actually the dog eats them but thats beside the point)

Their father has sent me an email saying the 13year old looks thin and always seems tired and am I feeding them properly...
I have actually put this down to him getting taller and basically hitting puberty...
he has a good meal every evening, ie, I cook fresh steak, chicken, pork, as well as the occasional beefburgers and fishfingers...

do you expect your teenagers to make their own pack lunches? or should I do it as well as everything else I do while they sit on their arses and watch tv/play playstation...

look forward to your thoughts...

think I may put this on AIBU as well...

Actually I still make DSs sandwiches, but only because I am making my own and its easier than us tripping over each other in the kitchen. But teens are perfectly capable of making up sandwiches or wraps, and I don't think you should be guilted into doing it for them, whatever their father thinks.

What do they say they're doing instead? Are they buying something else, or just skipping lunch? I'd just tell them I'll stop buying the stuff if they don't want it, and save the money.

Thanks AMIS, I do think he is making me feel guilty actually, when I ask what he's fed them they say Mc donalds, they drink loads of coke, 9pm at night, and icecream for a snack before they come home...

I don't give them money for lunch... (can't afford it) so at the moment they're just eating crisps, and shit sausages... which is not very healthy

It's really hard to stop them eating crap - you can only put decent food there and encourage them, but if they won't bother doing anything for themselves then you can't really force them while they're out of your sight. Even if you made up the sandwiches, they won't necessarily eat them. I think you just need to stop letting him get to you - turn it back on him if he's suggesting you don't feed them right!

I would save the money too! It doesn't sound as if they will be going hungry.

I am also on a drive to get my kids to take more responsibility - mostly because I'm pg with number 4 and I am getting fed up with picking bits off the floor and doing loads of housework around everyone else. My eldest is only 9. If his lunch wasn't provided by the school I'd be asking him to make it himself.

Plus my ds3's childminder has 5 children and the three eldest (9y upwards) make their own lunches. So that's only the 7yo and 1 1/2 yr old she's making lunch for.

Thank you... you've said what I needed to hear... X
I think he's an arse that still wants to wind me up and control me
Breathes deeply