Tips for a 20month age gap?

[happytree]

I've only recently discovered I'm expecting DC2. DS has just turned 1 and will be 20month when DC2 arrives.

My question is how can I best handle the transition from 1 dc to 2.
Is there anything you wish you'd known/ done before DC2?
My main concern is that DS still falls asleep in my arms. He has his tea, bath, play/story then snuggle time with me and he falls asleep. I'm guessing this will be more difficult with a newborn around.
I also still Bf DS during this snuggle time and we both really enjoy this special time but obviously I will want to feed DC2??

I'm sure these sound like stupid questions but I'm feeling more nervous about this baby than I was with my first (probably because I had no idea what was in store last time!)

Any advice would be very gratefully recieved.

Hi, i'm expecting my 3rd with a 20 months gap between him and my 2nd one too. the gap from my first 2 was 17 months. I think an important thing to remember is that with children this little they will change so much between now when you find out that you're expecting and when the next one actually comes along, so he may well be that little bit more independant by that age and gradually change his routine a bit from now to then?
Sometimes you end up having to just make it up as you go along, to see what will work best for getting two of them into bed or getting your toddler into bed while keeping your baby happy at the same time, but that's just like with your 1st sometimes you have to try a few things and see what works out best, only with your 2nd you have previous experience so you should be okay
With my 1st two i found the small age gap worked quite well, oldest one adapted pretty quickly, didn't suffer a lot of jealousy, they both still were napping in the day so can get a break while they both sleep, able to do same activities with both etc. So I am hoping 20 months gap will work out well as its not too different from 17 months, although my 2nd is a lot more clingier and has a less independant personality so will see how that goes, I suppose it obviously depends on the child..
Generally my tips would be get a good double buggy if you walk alot, as it comes in much handier to be able to just load them both in and go rather than having to encourage a slow walking toddler while you only have the baby in the buggy. Also if your oldest doesn't normally feed himself food it really helps to get him doing that confidently by the time the 2nd one is born that way you only have to be there near them but you have your hands free rather than spooning their dinner in their mouth, so its more practical.
With my 2nd i found i focus on routine and exact sleeping times etc less with him, just bring him along to whatever ds1 is doing and he has to adapt, which has worked out quite well because he is able to fall asleep anywhere and also helps the older one feel secure i think because their daily activities are staying pretty much the same.
I found going from 1-2 easier than expected, I was also quite worried thinking how to balance them both etc but really it was fine, and they are quite close and get on well and love each other which is lovely. I'm sure you will be okay with it, you just adapt to it like you do with your 1st and its not necessarily as hard as you think it might be.
Good luck and congrats!

Thank you so so much.
I'm currently working on the self feeding thing with that in mind so it's reassuring to know I'm on the right sort of lines.
I think it all the riotous hormones but keep wanting to cry over not being able to give DS 100% attention all the time! Not that he gets that all the time now (I work).
I need to stop putting pressure on myself i think.

I have a 20 month gap. It is hard work but getting a lot easier recently - they are 4 and 2.3 now. I found the hardest thing was just the tiredness - when you have just a newborn they wake you a lot but are pretty still the rest of the time, but the 20month old is a relentless toddler who wants everything now!

My tips would be - consider a few preschool sessions for the older one when they get to 2 - I felt torn with guilt that DS never got all the one to one time DD had.

Feeding - lots of people tandem feed, if you wanted to carry on. There's a book called 'adventures in tandem nursing' that sounds pretty good - or you may find they self wean during the pregnancy, or you may want to stop - whichever suits you all is fine - lots of tandem feeders on the breast and bottle feeding section (no exp myself but fed DS til he was 25 months)