i find that bit when they don't go to bed so soul-destroying

[tyaca]

by the time the kids are asleep, i have about an hour before i need to sleep myself. it makes me so angry.

we live in a flat, so i can hear everything. can't get away from and feel like i can have a break. it really really does my nut in.

what routine do you have?

six til seven is pretty structured, even slightly ocd. bath, story, teeth, bed. always down on dot of seven. think it's the clocks and the lighter days that have made things lots worse.

they are just turned 3 and 20months btw

What do you mean they don't go to bed, though? Are they pottering around in their rooms?

ds (20m) finds staying in bed difficult, would much rather explore and get into bed with his sister.

she just TALKS AND TALKS AND TALKS. for hours. if i couldn't hear her it would be fine, but i can! and she is so tired all the time cause she spends all night chatting and still can't sleep much beyond half six in the morning.

When mine were that age I used to get into my bed with both of them, read the little one a story, and she would drift off to sleep as I read the older one a story. I'd then read my own book to myself while the big one drifted off. I'd leave them after a while, and put them in their own beds when it was my bedtime. It worked very well for us.

Good luck. Just remember it doesnt last forever. It wont be long before you're up all night waiting for them to come home from the pub!

I feel your pain. 4 & 5 year olds are the same but fortunately I can't hear them.

sorry, I meant MY 4 and 5 year olds, not all of them.

Wait til they are teenagers and sit you out

or worse you have to go out at 1.30 to collect them from some random club

It sucks.

I currently want rid would like my 10 and 12 to go to bed. And the 12 is playing her keyboard in her bedroom and the noise is just going right through me.

Feeling your pain OP

Maybe stagger bedtimes?

My 3 year old (only just turned) recently started going to bed at 7.30 rather than 7. As they get older, they don't need so much sleep.

I've also started letting her come down to watch a little TV after her bath on the weekends and then go up for her story at around 7.30, bed at 8, then lights out by half 8. It means when she's gone, she's gone.

Separate rooms.

i just don't know why i can;'t switch off. my day is basically done - dd's talking isn't actually hurting me. and ds usually okay, takes half an hour at mo, no more. i just get so wound up. not at them just at the situation.

Much the same in our house, OP, with just the one (2.4) who currently finally goes to sleep any time between 8.30 and 10pm. DH and I haven't had an evening together for weeks now as one of us is always up there... he's there right now.

Pookamoo, why's your husband hanging around there, though? Your lo isn't going to go to sleep while theres the prospect of fun with daddy imo.

I always had a zero tolerance policy about bedtime when mine were little - into bed at 7, story, kiss and close the door. Any attempt to come downstairs was repelled instantly.

Ah no prospect of fun really, he's hanging around there because as soon as we leave the room, the wild screaming, thrashing and howling commences . The room is dark and he is probably sitting snoozing in her chair.

I am very envious of people whose children snuggle down in bed after their bath/teeth/story routine (which we have had in place for over a year!) and just go to sleep...

ah and she's still in a cot, so she can't get out (we tried taking the side off before Christmas and it Didn't Work)
She screams and howls and throws everything out of the cot on the floor, which is upsetting for everyone. This is a phase which has been going on for a couple of months now.

Bedtime usually starts around 6.30 straight after dinner, but can be up to a 3 hour experience which is draining for everyone.

tyaca, is it because it's something you cant control? You said your routine is ocd-like?
How are the day naps? Are they getting plenty of exercise? Is there enough wind down time before the bedtime routine starts? With DS, we close the curtains etc and tidy up, start to calm down so hopefully he recognises it's the end of the day - hard when the sun is shining though!

Just leave her to thrash and scream.

Rod.

Back.

I know someone who still lies on her daughter's bed till she goes to sleep.

She's ten years old ffs!

Sorry, mumble not going there... I don't want my house destroyed !

This is only a phase, like all the others we've been through, we'll grin and bear it, we didn't used to "have" to stay up there, and I'm sure in time we won't "have" to again... but I can totally empathise with the OP about not having any time to yourself when they take forever to go to sleep!

Maybe try blackout curtains?

i feel your pain. the thing that gets me is when i put her down, she is fast asleep in her cot and i sit down and 5 minutes later

waaahhhhhhh mum mum mum..

My tummy knots and i seethe inside. it usually takes another hour to get her to bed.

Have the same prob on and off with my 4 year old, she's actually just fell asleep. 21 month old asleep in the same room before the story is finished. Thay won't go to bed separately either. I have pmt too, hasn't been a pretty sight in this house this evening