Help! Confused about when to start DD at nursery

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DD1 is currently 18months old and DD2 is due end of July, so there will be a 21 month gap between them. DD1 is at home with me all week - we go to a music class once a week and various playdates but I want her to get more stimulation especially when the new baby arrives. I want to send DD1 to nursery for 2 half days a week starting when she is 2. DD2 will have been around for a couple of months so I'm hoping DD1 will have gotten used to her sister and might look forward to some extra stimulation. I'm worried about a couple of things: Will DD1 feel ditched if I start her at nursery after DD2 arrives? Will she feel like mummy is neglecting her? I can't really afford to send her before she turns 2 as the nursery I have my heart set on offers cheaper places when the child is 2 so more affordable. Would it be better for DD1 to start at nursery before DD2 arrives to make sure any feelings of neglect aren't an issue or am I overthinking it? WWYD or have done in the past - please reassure me that I'm not going to damage my PFB and put this nervous mama's fears to rest.

I would put her in afterwards, when she turns 2 your dd2 will have been there a few months as you say and hopefully she will be used to her and if she is enthusiastic about going to nursery might be seen more as something to look forward to rather than being pushed out? or if you feel at the time that she will need a bit more time with adapting to dd2 then wait another couple of months after that? imo 18-21 months ish is quite young to be going to nursery but after 2 yrs she would be more likely to benefit from it more?
none of mine have been in nursery yet so no experience of them going but my 2 yr old would love to go, i am just making him wait til he gets the free places once he turns 3. and he will be going a couple of months after a new baby but im hoping that will be fine..

yay responses!!! Thanks so much even though you both have opposing views I guess I just want some reassurance that waiting until DD1 is 2 will be ok!!! will let you know how I get on. strandedbear leave your name as is now I know to look for you :o

I didnt put either of mine into nursery until they got their free place when they turned 3. In the case of dd, ds arrived in October, she was 3 in November and started nursery in the January when ds was 3 months old. She didnt seem to feel pushed out and loved nursery.

I put DS in aged 20 months as DD was due when he was 24 months. I regret that. He clearly felt rejected and abandoned given his extreme response to both nursery and his little sister. But they're all different.

How is your dd generally, op? Confident and outgoing? Clingy or moody?

Hi Winky
DD is generally confident and outgoing - whenever we go to softplay or playgrounds she's off exploring, climbing and running in the opposite direction to me - much to my friends amusement whose children regularly are found hanging off their legs. We visited some nurseries on Friday and she was off playing in the playground but would occasionaly wander back to me and her dad so I hope she will take to nursery quite well. Would you have waited then Winky until after the baby had arrived?

hi my DS1 was at childminders 3 days a week - and started at pre-school 2 mornings a week at 2.9 month- I didn't feel he needed more than toddler groups/play dates and activities before then - have you looked into preschools at all as they can be cheaper - and I liked the more relaxed atmosphere

In hindsight, I would have waited six months until after the baby was born. It would have been really hard though, energy wise not to have had a bit of a break from a 2 yo old very energetic boy.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing though. And my experience will be very different to yours. Your dd may absolutely love nursery from the off. You can always try it and then, if she hates it, withdraw her from it to keep her at home. You still have the choice.

So what's the difference between a preschool and a nursery? Sorry if I'm being extremely dim.

I must be dim too as I have always referred to them as nurseries - ds goes to nursery but is in his pre-school year as he starts school after the summer. Maybe they mean a nursery attached to a school.