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Parenting

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Original poster

If money was no object would you still work and send your child to nursery?

37 replies

mollysmum82 · 07/04/2011 14:09

And if so, when?

The reason I ask is I'm a SAHM at the moment but have just received a really exciting job offer. Of course money is an object really - when I first gave up work to look after DD we struggled for a few months, having to use credit cards and the little savings we had to tie us over. But we have made some cut backs now and are steady (although any extra money would always be handy!)

I really loved my job and had always intended on going back part time. But when it came to it and DD turned 9 months old I just couldn't do it. I worked a 40 minute drive away and couldn't handle the thought of her being in a nursery and me being that far away. I realise how lucky I was to have had the choice and I'm certainly not judging anyone who did return to work, it just wasn't for me at the time. But my daughter is now approaching 2 and I wonder if it might be good for her to have some time at nursery? I've been offered a job of three half-days a week, term time only as it is a school. The nursery is attached to the same school. For me it is perfect as it is the best parts of the job I already loved. But I just need to decide if its right for my daughter. I presumed I would return when she was in preschool at the age of 4, so this had given me a lot to think about.

So I guess I just wanted your opinions on if you think nursery benefits toddlers/young children and if so from what age? Like I say we could survive money-wise if I didn't do this so I want to make sure its right for DD - I'd feel too guilty and selfish just doing it for me!

The other aspect is DH has been worrying a lot lately about our local schools. This job would guarantee a place for our daughter in an excellent prep school with heavily discounted fees - I guess that's a whole other thread!

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rookiemater · 08/04/2011 14:05

Gosh yes - 3 half days a week, term time only at the nursery your DD is going to go to, doing a job you enjoy. I'd take it like a shot, will be good for your DD too and less of a shock to the system when she does actually start school.

rookiemater · 08/04/2011 14:06

Didn't read the last paragraph about the discounted school fees - go for it and don't do it half heartedly, I would imagine there might be quite a lot of competition for the position, so you need to be really up for it at interview.

Original poster

mollysmum82 · 08/04/2011 20:15

Oh thank you all so much for your replies, its so appreciated x

Wow that's pretty unanimous then?! I went to see the nursery today and its gorgeous :)

...I just need to convince DH now!

Thanks so much again

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MarshaBrady · 08/04/2011 20:18

Discounted school fees? Yes I would do it definitely.

spidookly · 08/04/2011 20:26

"if you love your job and would hate to be at home with kids although you could afford it - what exactly appealed to you about having kids then?"

Do you ask that of all the men you know with children and jobs?

Are you really suggesting that children whose mothers want to work shouldn't have been born, 'cos it sounds a lot like it.

OP - you're being offered a job you love, part time, with an on-site nursery, reduced prep school fees, and your child is 2?

I'm amazed you're even having to think about this. Seems a no brainer to me.

Do you really have to "convince" your husband before you can take a job you want?

thinkingaboutschools · 08/04/2011 20:33

Some of us are great at being at home, others are not (myself included - actually although I enjoyed it for a year, I did feel quite isolated) - I think there are some quite judgemental statements on this thread which I find quite surprising and not at all supportive.

One of the things I like about my particular group of friends with children is that there is a very wide range as to what we do as regards to work/stay at home and it is accepted by all that what works for one does not necessarily work for another.

We are all different and also should recognise that we don't stop being who we are when we give birth!

AnnieLobeseder · 08/04/2011 20:36

quickchat - you gave up your job because you were focussing on what you might be missing while you're at work. I doubt your DC noticed one way or the other and were perfectly happy with their grandparents.

In my opinion, women who give up their jobs for their children might tell themselves it's what's best for their child, but it's really because of what they want; ie, to be with their children. Which is no bad thing, I just think women should be more honest with themselves about their motives.

MarshaBrady · 08/04/2011 20:36

I don't think the title is that relevant really. Money is an object, as you are facing schools you are not keen on. Unless money is no object re school fees too?

A bit sort of blunt to say. But I think you should celebrate getting this great job and not feel bad about part time nursery care. Think long term.

spidookly · 08/04/2011 20:50

Good point Annie. It's like people who never wanted children banging on about how they made a responsible decision for the environment when in fact they did exactly as they pleased like the people they want to feel superior to.

Parietal · 09/04/2011 02:26

Money is not a major factor in my decision but I still put my DD in nursery at 4 months and went back to work. I love my job and am in a field where taking long breaks from work puts you at a disadvantage in terms of career progress. It was tough at first but now DD loves nursery and her little sister will join her soon.

I deliberately chose a very small nursery with lots of one-to-one care, and I don't think being at nursery has been bad for DD. I would have been a miserable full time mum. If it were feasible to go part time in my job then I would, but unfortunately it isn't really.

TuttoRhino · 09/04/2011 08:23

I would drop my hours from a compressed 4 day work week down to 3 days. I'd drop her days in nursery from 3 down to 2 days. She's 22 months, started nursery at 12 months.

Right now she does 3 days in nursery (normally 8 hours) and one day each my DH and I.

Original poster

mollysmum82 · 10/04/2011 14:42

Thanks again everyone.

The only thing that's putting me off is if DD didn't like it I'd be trapped in the job for at least a term (you have to give a full term's notice). And I'd hate to start and then have to let the school down. Plus also its a 30 minute drive away (40 in traffic). Do you think it would be unfair to make her travel that far for three days?

I was half joking about convincing DH, he'd be happy if I was happy - I guess I just meant I wouldn't want him to resent me if DD didn't end up enjoying it.

As you can probably tell I overanalyse everything and feel guilty about every me-decision I make!

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