We may or may not have conceived dc2, now I am terrified!

[CorrieQueen]

DH and I have been planning DC2 for months and actually tried ttc yesterday and today (tmi!) but now I can't help but feel scared in case we have actually conceived. I know that sounds crazy and selfish .

We have a 3 yr old ds who was very much planned. He is just lovely, life is so simple right now, me dh and ds are a happy little family but I always feel like there is a family memeber missing if that makes sense?

Now I am so scared of how another child may impact on him and going through all the hard and challenging stages again which we have already been through with ds.

I have just gone back to work after 3 years and finally feel back on my feet again. I am so scared now! Although I want to have another child desperately part of me now feels torn that I am doing the wrong thing.

Please tell me this is normal!

Completely normal. You are just being sensible in realising early doors that life is not going to get much 'easier'. If you are preg though life will certainly have few dull moments. As a mum of three I felt the same carrying our last one and it was only when he actually arrived that I fell in love and felt all was well again - 2.5 years on I am back to work part time and life is pretty chaotic but brilliant fun too. Good luck.

I'm so glad someone else is feeling this way too. My DD is 3 and we are just going to start trying for number 2. I'm terrified and excited and happy all at once :)

Nice to see it's normal!

When I found out I was pregnant with DS2 I cried - not with happiness but out of pure fear. We had a really tough time with DS1 as he spent a few weeks in intensive care when he was born and I had bonding issues etc. So although I knew I wanted another DC, at the same time I was so very scared when I actually saw the blue line. If it makes you feel any better I actually carried on crying for two days before I got my head around it!

So, yes in my experience it's totally normal to feel the way you do at the moment. Rest assured once he or she arrives you will completely differently and although life does get a bit harder again, for some reason second time round things get back to 'normal' much much sooner.

Completely normal! It took us a year to conceive dd1 so next time round we started 'trying' early in case it took the same time again. So of course it happened straight away and I had a huge shock. I remember crying and thinking what have I done....

You feel you're being disloyal in a way to dc1 and you'll never love another one as much. All v v normal!

Oh thank you all so much! Such reasurance!

I already feel guilty for ds Dancergirl so I am glad you mentioned that. I feel so sad that I may be destroying his little world which I know sounds totally dramatic! He is just so settled and we are so happy but I can not imagine NOT having another child iyswim?

I am still very confused really. Very excited but also scared stiff in case I am actually pregnant.

Good to know it seems fairly normal. With ds it was just pure happiness at being pg but I guess second time round you have to factor someone elses happiness into the equation.

Also with ds all was fairly straight forward with pg and delivery, no complications, no pain relief etc so I am convinced I am due a TERRIBLE time next time around to make up for it!

It's a huge change going from 1 to 2. Your first child is your baby and you just can't imagine them being an older sibling.

Corriequeen - my 3 dds are now nearly 10, 8 and 4 and the oldest two in particular are the best of friends. I know it's difficult to imagine this stage where you are now but I think lots of people go through similar thoughts to yours.

And there's no reason for you to have a hard time with pregnancy and birth either. 2nd babies are often v quick and easy so if you had a straightforward birth first time, next time will be a walk in the park!

Good luck.

Oooh I do hope so Dancergirl thank you for calming me down a little!

I think I need to stop worrying, easier said than done! But I will probably drive my self mad thinking of all the ifs and buts. I know it will be hard but I do feel so much better knowing others have felt the same. Before I just thought it was my subconcious not wanting another child . There just seems such a lot riding on it and it all seems a bit of a gamble at the moment.

I am sure I'll be back on here looking for advice on the ttc or pregnancy boards. I'll keep you all posted!